I have a lot of condoms. I couldn’t explain the how and why of it really, but i do. I never buy them or go out deliberately hunting for them, but i’ve got nearly a dozen of them in my room anyhow. It’s actually sortof like a mutant power. You know, healing factor, weather control, and the all important latex magnetism.
I don’t collect them in an sort of deliberate way, and even once i have them they are basically just strewn randomly around my room. It’s not as though i’m seeing a lot of traffic through there, if you know what i mean.
Well, this “strewning,” if you will, turns out to be the most disadvantageous way to store the things. Especially when you’re trying to find them all and put them in the bottom of an innocent box full of tylenol and allergy medication. Especially when your delerious mother is coming to help you move, and she picks up things first and asks questions later (read that as: “No, mom… don’t pick up the monitor” “Shut up, we have to finish so i can go down the shore”).