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Category Archives: teevee

Conan O’Brien, Tina Fey, and The Chuck Norris Rural Policeman Handle

Okay, this is the last one, I promise.

(Seriously, if this had happened on television I wouldn’t care at all, but it happened in real, physical space and I want to share it with you because it was just ridiculous.)

Photo via my lovely date for the evening, @brimil

A recurring theme of “The Legally Prohibited from Being Funny on Television Tour” was all of the things Conan O’Brien isn’t allowed to do. He joked that not only is he prohibited from being funny on television until September, but he is prohibited from appearing on TV entirely and so are similar likenesses, such as Johnny Neutron and (hilariously) Tilda Swinton.

Conan made a big deal over wanting to do his “Walker Texas Range Lever” bit for the tour even though NBC may hold the rights to that title. So, he instead presented “The Chuck Norris Rural Policeman Handle.” Each pull of the handle produced a riotously out-of-context Norris clip.

After pulling the handle for a few choice clips on his own, he brought out Tina Fey to do the honors. Except, Tina’s clips weren’t so much hilarious as they were disturbing…

The best part is Tina’s face after the third clip at 4:21. Priceless.

Visit the “Legally Prohibited” tour Wikipedia page for the full list of guest appearances. Only the LA and NYC shows manage to trump Tina Fey and Trey Anastasio as special guests (the first night in Radio City Music Hall featured the ridiculous array of Stephen Colbert, Jon Stewart, Paul Rudd, Bill Hader, John Krasinski, and Vampire Weekend).

Considering I originally bought my quartet of tickets to scalp for a profit to Conan-obsessed fanboys, I’d say that my attending the show and witnessing all of these hijinks this would be the highlight of my year if I wasn’t buying a house in seven days. And this is coming from someone who just jumped out of a plane and was almost murdered by pine barren monsters.

The More You Know (featuring Tina Fey)

Things I have learned about myself in the past 24 hours:

  1. Being able to walk six miles in 72 minutes has no bearing on being to run at all for any length of time.
  2. Every jog must begin with the theme from Buffy the Vampire Slayer or “Hypnotize” by Notorious BIG.
  3. Mid-jog rallies should be set to “Build Me Up Buttercup” for maximum effectiveness.
  4. I have a LONG way to go before I’m ready for that triathlon I claim to be doing in August.
  5. My hair is awesome.
  6. Wait, I knew that one already.
  7. Oh, here’s a new one:

    I will unleash the most primal, gut-wrenching, OMG-it’s-the-Beatles! scream if Tina Fey suddenly appears in the same room as me.

    Conan & Tina backstage @ The Tower, swiped from Conan’s blog.

    Usually I am pretty cautious about my voice at shows, using only my particular (and well-supported) soprano wail for cheering purposes. However, last night when Conan O’Brien welcomed Tina Fey onto the stage at the Tower Theatre (making her entrance performing the cheer of what will be my neighborhood high school in eight short days, no less) I completely lost my mind.

    And my voice. I can’t especially talk right now.

    Allow me to repeat: I was in the same room as Tina Fey. TINA FEY.

    (And let the record show that my crush on Tina Fey predates 30 Rock ENTIRELY. I have been in love with her since her first SNL “Weekend Update.” Ask Erika.)

In other news, I have to buy one of those armband iPod holders, because my underwear is not a proper home for my music collection.

Our Battlestar Galactica Halloween as Baltar & Head Six

Last night E and I dressed up as Head Six and Dr. Gaius Baltar, respectively, from the cult Sci-Fi hit Battlestar Galactica.

Head SixDr. Gaius Baltar

E is not in Six’s standard spaghetti-strap dress, but Six can be spotted in this style at least once in the series.

Baltar & Six

Also, note the spot-on bracelet and ring, which E made herself.

Six & Baltar, enamored

My costume was much more subtle, as I was effectively E’s accessory for the night. I simply grew some scruff and slicked back my hair. For fun, I carried two corner-cut Vice-Presidential memos (as we were ostensibly circa seasons one and two – post appointment to VP, but pre swearing-in as president).

Six, hand of God

One memo was the results of tests with the Cylon Detector. The other was a draft of Gaius’s inaugural speech, complete with parenthetical asides to Head Six (presumably floating over his shoulder in devilish fashion as he wrote it). Writing in the Dr. Baltar voice was very fun.

Out of two parties four people knew who we were. The best comment we received was by far:

I’m not sure who you are, but you both look really sexy. You should introduce yourself as, “Hi, I’m sexy.”

Oh, and SyFy – né Sci-Fi – the purveyors of the show we paid homage to, thought we were “Awesome!

‘Nuff said.

whiling away the hours

(1) A few years ago I saw Malcolm Gladwell deliver a speech at the New Yorker Festival that is largely recapitulated in the second chapter of Outliers, called “The 10,000 Hour Rule.”

In it, Gladwell draws our attention to a data point converged upon by countless studies of experts in a variety of fields. He says, “In fact, researchers have settled on what they believe is the magic number for true expertise: ten thousand hours.” He goes on to quote neurologist Daniel Levitin:

In study after study, of composers, basketball players, fiction writers, ice skaters, concert pianists, chess players, master criminals, and what have you, this number comes up again and again. … It seems that it takes the brain this long to assimilate all that it needs to know to achieve true mastery.

Gladwell supports the rule using Mozart, Bill Gates, Bill Joy, and the Beatles as his examples. Not to say that their genius and success is purely a result of 10,000 hours of practice – the book as a whole explains other facets – just that it was an essential component of their expertise.

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(2a) 10,000 hours is a long time.

If as a child starting at age five you had piano lessons two times a week (an hour each) and also practiced an hour a day, you would clock nine hours a week. 468 hours a year. 4,680 hours a decade.

If you kept that up until age 26 you’d finally have served your time.

(2b) 10,000 hours can go by before you know it.

Maybe you got into video games at age 11. You played them every night after homework and dinner, let’s say from 7:30 to 11:00 p.m. on most nights, plus extra on the weekend. That’s more than 25 hours a week. 1,300 plus a year.

You’d be a master by the time you started college. Most kids are.

(2c) Time is relative.

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(3) In the car today Gina and I were singing in harmony to the amazing Hezekiah Jones album Hezekiah Says You’re A-OK, on the way to see his band split a bill with the equally fantastic Up the Chain.

“You know, Gina,” I said, breaking from my lead vocal, “I’ve been thinking about this 10,000 hour thing. Not everyone’s an expert at something. I mean, what do most people spend 10,000 hours doing by the time they’re 25? Watching teevee, I suppose.”

“More than likely,” she replied.

“But, think about me. I watched a lot of television, sure. Mostly, though, I read until I was old enough to write, and then I wrote and read. That’s what I spent my 10k on.”

(Perhaps she interjected, “Oh, I remember.”)

“And, you know, is it any surprise that I’m good at communications? I’m not an expert, but no wonder it’s my calling. I spent my whole life practicing for it.”

We sat and sang for a moment, contemplating that.

“What about you?”

Gina paused in her harmony. “Hmm, me?”

“Yeah. What did you spend 10,000 hours doing?”

“This. Listening to music. Singing harmony.”

“Really your whole life, right? Your mother singing, your father playing guitar…”

“Yeah, since I can remember.”

“Right. So, no matter how much I rehearse, you’ll always have the edge. It’ll always come easier to you, until I reach that threshold.”

“I suppose.”

We paused as the song wound down.

“What do you think Hezekiah spent 10,000 hours doing?”

We thought on that for a few moments, and then sang together to “Albert Hash.”

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(4) We’re not all Mozart. I might not ever be Hezekiah Jones. But, we’ve all spent 10,000 hours doing something other than sleeping, and hopefully other than watching television. Maybe something incidental that we do out of necessity or habit. Driving? Social-networking? Cleaning? Taking care of children?

I’ve put in more than my share on communications – reading cereal boxes and trashy fantasy novels, writing stories at eight on my manual typewriter and almost nine years of blogs.

I got an early start on 10,000 hours of being Gina’s best friend, which I keep padding. I’m really good at that. More recently I’ve attained well-in-excess of 10,000 hours of being in love with Elise.

I hope eventually I’ll reach my 10,000th hour of serious focus on music. It’s a large piggy-bank of time to fill.

What about you? What have you spent your life mastering, intentionally or unintentionally?

weekend braindump

My biggest weakness – bigger than any weakness in character, or for spending money, or really even for wasting time – is that I’ll always stop to read something.

It’s such a subtle flaw. We’ve been over how as a child I felt compelled to read cereal boxes as I ate breakfast, but it’s a lot more than that. It’s my voracious reading – how on vacation as a child my mother would pack an entire suitcase of books, because you never wanted to encounter a me with nothing to read.

In adulthood it manifests a little differently. I’ve lost patience for fictional universes, so slow to unwind before me. Now the communications major has taken over. I’ll read Rolling Stone while tying my shoes, and even carry my laptop into the bathroom if I haven’t quite finished reading an article.

Okay, maybe that was over sharing.

Where once I was limited by my physical ability to store words, now I’m only limited by bandwidth and time.

The awful side of my habit is getting caught up in junk words. Trolling through FaceBook status updates. Reading comments from the misanthrope TalkBackers on Ain’t It Cool News. Are these altering my life in a positive way? Am I better person for consuming them?

All that said, here are the more substantial words that have kept me occupied over the weekend.

First, there is Battlestar Galactica. There are a scant six episodes left of this genre-shattering drama, and the press has belatedly gone into overdrive to promote the show (you know, just in case people have time to watch four seasons worth of backstory so they can catch the last six episodes live).

If you are amongst that demographic you probably shouldn’t even be reading these articles, as they are spoilers-galore if you aren’t all caught up through this past Friday’s doozy of an ep. I’ll try not to put spoils into the links, but if you aren’t up to Season 4.5 please don’t click through anything.

Jenna Busch has a fantastic interview with the alluring and well-spoken Kate Vernon, who has always been spectacular on BSG. Battlestar.tv goes on at great length with Grace Park, who reveals lots of interesting production details – including what its like to act as Sharon and Boomer within minutes of each other.

A thoughtful in-canon letter to the editor about Why Tom Zarek Was Right during the course of recent events on the show (I happen to agree). a brief one with Katee Sackoff, who reveals that she was battling thyroid cancer at the end of the series, adding to the emotional weight of her performance.

OS news has a lengthy chat with Nikki Clyne, who played Cally. I love how all of the BSG actors are more than just actors – Nikki is working on some kind of social networking site? They’re all such renaissance people. For example, scroll towards the bottom of composer Bear McCreary’s interview with some of the actors to read a hilarious tale of how Michael Trucco (Anders) helps launch a historical ship with Michael Hogan (Tigh). Also in that interview, the stunning (in beauty and as an actor) Rekha Sharma dishes that she spent weeks hanging out together in L.A. with Kate Vernon – I can’t decide if that’s better as an intellectual fantasy or an erotic one. ?

Okay, I also read some interesting things not about a fictional universe.

Lincoln’s Laws of War challenges you to recall your AP History as it outlines how the rights that Team Bush so ably dissected were first put in place by Obama’s presidential idol.

A compelling (if a little too detached) piece of longform from VF writer Vicky Ward on the serpentine tale of Esther Reed, a girl who ran away from one troubled life into another in a quest to find some suitable outlet for her secret genius.

A surprisingly personal (at least, to me) take on Michelle Obama, from Vogue, of all places. I love this woman so much. It is surely my goal to meet her at some point in my life.

Nate Silver – of my preferred election website, 538 – uses similar predictive modeling to guess the outcomes of Oscar.

The Academy’s PR team is making a lot of noise about how intimate and different their ceremony will be this year, but I don’t know if they can capitalize on the success of the Grammys because movies are experiential in a completely different way than music is. On the Grammys people tune in to hear songs. On the Oscars people tune in to see stars. Unless Titanic is nominated they could take or leave the movies. Their only hope might be holding the Supporting Actor trophy until later in the program than usual, since it’s the only major award their voters deigned to offer to Dark Knight.

I won’t be watching because – lack of live teevee aside – I only watch award shows with Erika. That said, I do love Hugh Jackman.

Ron Moore talks ending Battlestar Galactica

Check out a well-informed, far-ranging interview with Ron Moore, creator and show-runner of the reimagined Battlestar Galactica. No spoilers for the impending Season 4.5.

Battlestar Galactica is one of the finest shows on television, and that’s not just me talking – though it has struck out on major Emmy nods, it’s run the table on critical acclaim during its run, including accolades from Time and the American Film Institute, amongst many others. It’s first season compares favorably to The West Wing in the quality of its storytelling and ensemble acting. If you’ve already exhausted the re-watch possibilities on Lost and Mad Men BSG’s mix of action and intrigue is the perfect mid-point between the two.

(If you prefer your BSG news with spoilers, head to SyFy Portal to read about the identity of the final cylon and the last scene in the series. Careful – the latter one is shocking.)

Digestifs (or, a requiem for eight solid hours of food and NFL football)

I am finally old enough to enjoy a post-dinner recline on the couch while making inane commentary on football games, and I took full advantage of said privilege tonight after dining with Gina’s family for the first time in six(!) years.

While watching the Eagles rack up the highest score of the day Gina, Wes, and I organized the National Football League in descending order of mascot size, punctuated by occasionally less-than-fearsome cardinal cries.

Massive
Titans
Jets (jumbo)
Giants
Saints (if astral)

Huge
Bills (buffalo)
Texans (steers, or possibly minotaurs?)
Broncos
Bears (grizzly)
Bengals

Large
Lions
Panthers
Colts
Rams
Jaguars
Dolphins

Man-Sized
Steelers & 49ers (assumed to be burly and hard-working)
Raiders & Vikings (assumed to be fierce and conquest-oriented)
Chiefs
Packers (assumed to be like Steelers, but with more dairy in their diets)
Cowboys & Redskins
Buccaneers (more of an effete Johnny Depp pirate)
Eagles (massive wingspan makes them comparable in size)
Patriots (sorta bourgeois, comparatively)
Saints (if corporeal)

Small
Seahawks
Browns (if dogs)
Falcons & Ravens (split decision on which would be larger)

Tiny
Cardinals
Browns (if recluse)

Atomic
Chargers

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At this point we were all in a full-on dessert coma after ingesting Gina’s pumpkin cheesecake pie, and amidst Brian Dawkins imitations*, we also found the time to judge the five most fearsome mascots…
1. Titans – Atlas is a Titan!
2. Chargers
3. Bears
4. Bengals
5. Eagles
Honorable Mention: Saints (if astral)

… as opposed to the five most harmless mascots:
1. Cardinals
2. Ravens
3. Browns
4. Dolphins Per reader feedback, a dolphin could maul a Patriot.
5. Colts
Honorable Mention: Saints (if corporeal)

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* Everyone we know considers Brian Dawkins to be terror incarnate, and we spend the majority of most Eagles’ games commenting on the fear that he strikes into all opponents.

Tonight we determined that Batman’s interrogation of a hallucinating Scarecrow in Batman Begins was actually based on Brian Dawkins’ pass defense, and that there is likely test footage of Bale wearing a Dawkins jersey along with his enigmatic visored helmet.

I also posited a likely Dawkins’ internal monologue, but it involved a lot of cookie-monster-metal growling that I can’t really do justice in text. Maybe when my condensers arrive next week…

Where selflessness and procrastination collide

When I was in Boston with Erika she told me she likes to read CK when it is about my personal misadventures, rather than static ruminations or recaps of rocking Arcati Crisis shows.

That was two weeks ago today, on my birthday, although I just now typed “a week ago,” because I’ve definitely misplaced some of the intervening days. I’m not sure where they went – I haven’t been making many plans or playing much music – but they are gone.

Apparently spending days at a rapid rate just makes the passing of them easier – just like I’ve easily written more than 12,000 words today and now I can’t seem to stop writing.

Last Tuesday is the last day I can get a distinct fix on without referring to old emails or a calendar. I know I spent the day at work, plus another six hours working remotely because I felt like “tidying,” and that I subsequently spent three hours copy-editing my mother’s 536-word college paper. Not that it involved much copy-editing. Moreso, it was that I wrote her a ridiculous 1300-word rumination on her assignment and how she could marginally improve it, as it was already awesome.

(She claims that I did not get writing from her, but she is one of the most natural writers I know. She writes exactly how she speaks. It’s uncanny.)

On Wednesday Elise and I collected our pal Anna and crashed the auditions for our acapella alma mater, The TrebleMakers. Well, we didn’t crash, really. It was more like we were uninvited, creepy, old guests with valid, non-binding input on the audition process. I was wearing one of my larger suits and sporting some facial hair, the combination of which I’m sure projected the impression of a rumpled old man who just rolled out of bed in his pajamas.

(Think about this for a minute, my friends: the girls who are auditioning for TMs as freshmen were born after the release of “Like a Prayer.”)

As per usual, any encounter between us and acappella results in unparalleled excitement and lust for our harmony-singin’ glory days (which actually only ended in 2006). It also results huge laundry lists of songs we’d like to arrange – this time headed by “That’s What You Get” by Paramore and “Breakin’ Up” by Rilo Kiley.

Whereas usually such larks are promptly forgotten, on Thursday I fell ill completely out of the blue and spent the day home from work, during which I arranged like the unstoppable 2004-me that had a hand in a fourth of the arrangements on the TM’s last CD.

(Then there is my heavily documented debate coverage, followed by a frantic 24-hours of strategic planning between E & I that has not yet yielded our first (non-political) freelance website but might still, soon.)

Our weekend was consumed by more arranging and kitten-mania. Yes, the kittens from earlier this summer are back in our yard, and have been for at least a week – sleeping in flower pots and causing all manner of mischief in our box planters.

Having spent a childhood raptly absorbing The Price Is Right, I decided it was my personal calling from Bob Barker to have the kittens spayed or neutered, and hopefully adopted. All weekend I colluded with Elise to capture them, at one point setting up a complex Fudd-esque “kitten blind” behind our back door.

Elise finally caught the trio of them in a complex gambit involving a pet carrier and… well, mostly just the pet carrier. Subsequently, in my infinitesimal wisdom I elected to release all three of them into our powder room without calling to see if shelters had room available, or researching what is entailed in fostering a feral cat.

Yes, feral. Feral, and raised on the mean streets of South Philadelphia.

They don’t seem very feral in the “scary & rabid” sense. They mostly just huddle under our sink and stare dolefully when I stop by to feed them. However, they certainly are feral in the “not digging on humans” sense, which is going to make it hard to get them out from under said sink to fulfill the mission set out for me plainly after every Showcase Showdown.

I spent the majority of last night placing said calls and undertaking said research, to generally no avail. As for today, I worked my typical no-lunch-break-and-extra-hours day, fielded a few unhelpful calls from pet shelters, and then headed home for an unlikely duet of kitten wrangling and drafting various Lyndzapalooza promotional strategies (at least a dozen, last time I counted).

Which brings us to this unlikely hour, and my belabored point.

In the past week I have worked extra hours, proofread and critiqued, crashed and input, arranged and recapped, strategized and arranged some more, caught and herded, called and researched, and wrangled and drafted.

All of that, and yet I have not contacted anywhere about tuxedos for our wedding, submitted two months of transit receipts for reimbursement, or scheduled a much-needed dermatologist appointment to combat the disconcerting red splotches that have overtaken each of my laugh lines.

Was I procrastinating on all three of those tasks before my whirlwind week overtook me? Sure, at least a little. But, in the past week I really wanted to do all three. I tried! I gathered papers and picked phones off their cradles. I just never found a window open enough to accommodate the completion of any one of the tasks, let alone three.

A week later I have plenty to show for my continued procrastination, but not much of what I’m showing does anything to help me.

Am I spending my time selflessly because I am so good at procrastinating? Or, do I find myself procrastinating because I am committed to spending my time selflessly.

Excuse me while I sleep on it.

Rachel Maddow, in brief

It’s always interesting to read a foreign take on American news media – in this case, a brief Guardian bio of newly minted MSNBC host Rachel Maddow.

Interesting to me is that the article focuses on Rachel’s sexuality – she is gay, and has been out since age fifteen. Not surprising, considering it’s the Guardian. Yet, the revelation still holds some intrigue because:

(a) I had no idea she was a lesbian;

(b) My ignorance nonwithstanding, I don’t think this is a widely known fact in the US;

(c) Yet, clearly it’s known by the media- and political- establishment. is it a component of the “liberal” tag applied to her; and

(d) Rachel is rapidly achieving rating dominance; she has recently topped Larry King in her time slot. This makes her one of the most visible “out” personalities in the media, and from the article it sounds as though she’s more vocal about her sexuality than Anderson Cooper.

Lest it be overlooked, she also holds a doctorate in political science, specializing in AIDS and prison reform. Certainly not a lightweight coming from the world of sportscasting.

(Lest you mistakenly think that was a Palin joke, I’m actually refering to her sometimes-mentor Oblermann. As Palin jokes go it was way too easy.)

Best. Pre-Birthday. Ever.

Best birthday-eve ever:

  • Boston craziness with Erika & Matt!
  • Brunch @ Club Passim (vegetarian, rennet-free cheese!)
  • All-day shopping in Cambridge (Newbury Comics!)
  • RiverSong w/Amanda and Dave!
  • An all-pesto pizza. Seriously. Honey, it’s better than Powelton. And, we only got medium pesto. Guess what I’m having for my birthday tomorrow?
  • Betting on the Emmys, while…
  • Giving ourselves spinach facials from Lush, and drinking…
  • A six-pack of Raspberry Cider Jack. Party like it’s 1999, baby.

    Did I mention I’m in Boston, watching Awards show with Erika while drunk? The only thing Erika likes better than that is watching Awards shows where they are drunk.

    Oo, Kathy Griffin!

  • World of Whedon

    An extended interview with Joss Whedon, mostly on the topic of Dr. Horrible and how it represents a new revenue model for Hollywood, though how much revenue that entails is TBA.

    (Also: a young YouTube auteur fills in the early years of Dr. Horrible’s video blog.)

    Also, the never-before seen animation test for Buffy: The Animated Series just surfaced. As with Dr. Horrible, I wasn’t overly-impressed with it, but I can’t understand why no one picked it up:

    (And, if you are a Whedon-fan who is truly asleep-at-the-wheel it may have escaped your attention that the official eighth season of Buffy is currently being released as a comic book. If you – like me – are a huge Buffy fan who is too busy and grown-up to be hoarding piles of individual comics you ought to consider picking up the first two collected graphic novels – The Long Way Home and No Future For You.)

    (Annnnd, if you are a Whedon- and X-men fan you should have long ago purchased all four of the graphic novels of Joss’s run on Astonishing X-Men, the first two of which were one of the best X-arcs I’ve ever read: Gifted, Dangerous, Torn, & Unstoppable.)

    If you enjoy keeping up with the world of Whedon – including Buffy, Angel, Firefly. Dr. Horrible, the upcoming Dollhouse, and all of the people that make them happen – you ought to bookmark the fantastic Whedonesque

    Oblermann, At Length

    I love words.

    I was notorious as a child for needing something to read at any idle moment. Eating breakfast? Better hope that cereal box has lots of copy on it. Long car ride? Multiple paperbacks required, just to be safe.

    The internet has taken the edge of my constant need to consume the written word, but I sometimes get intellectual heartburn from all the junk food of message boards and user comments I devour to keep my gears spinning. Even worse than the junk are insubstantial articles – 500 and 1,000 word affairs that get me all spun up and then just stop.

    I vastly prefer, and eternally adore, longform journalistic writing, especially in the form of media critique. It’s a style of writing I love to consume, and the style I enjoy writing the most. You can trace my appreciation back to being hooked on the reviews at Furia.com in the nineties, and more recently in Jacob Clifton’s poetic, academic, polemic recaps of Battlestar Galactica.

    Last weekend the piece that caught my extended attention was from the New Yorker – a complete recounting of the personal history and personal psyche of Keith Oblermann.

    Based on the sheer word count that has been devoted to Oblermann recently, I’m assuming you know who he is. You have to remember, I don’t consume these people on television – just through their print coverage and occasional video clips – so I commensurately don’t understand how famous they are to actual teevee viewers. However, even from my detached vantage point Keith Oblermann’s name and face seem to have reached zeitgeist levels of recognition.

    I used to enjoy Keith’s critical essays on MSNBC dot com long before I knew he was an on-air personality because he didn’t do the typical journalistic dance of balance when someone was clearly in the moral right or wrong. He just spoke the truth, which sometimes meant speaking out against his topic of discussion. Yet, he wasn’t an op-ed writer – he was just a reporter. He just reported the truth.

    Given the recent backlash against him, it seems that Keith (or, at least, his public persona) has undergone a translation from truth-speaking broadcaster to liberal figure(talking)head, held in apposition to make-pretend journalists like Bill O’Reilly.

    The difference, I think, is that Keith has aggressively shifted the focus of his considerably audible and influential voice away from the morally black and white and into the politically gray. He’s still engaged in a mainly journalistic pursuit, rather than an opinionated one.

    As discussed in the feature-article, Keith recently punctuated a special commentary by commanding our commander-in-chief to “Shut the hell up!” Of course, most of Bush’s words and actions seem more morally black than politically gray to any rational human being, but it is a bit beyond the pale to viciously criticize a sitting president from your anchor chair.

    However, Keith has also turned his focus into the Democratic fray to slam Hillary Clinton for invoking the assassination of RFK when discussing why the nominating process might (and, per her, should) continue through the summer. Unlike Bush, this is clearly a gray area, or at least gray enough that a nine-minute retort seems a little overboard … possibly the vented hot air of a gasbag.

    As the hot air continues to vent, and as the dissenters continue to get in line, the picture of the New Oblermann becomes increasingly crisp. He is not just liberal Bill O’Reilly, or liberal anyone else, because he’s not simply espousing liberalism. He’s espousing truth and logic, much in the same way Jon Stewart does, except he does not have the shield of “Fake News” to hide behind. And, sometimes to highlight the illogical he needs to rachet up his own rhetoric to full blast to make sure there is no mistaking his commentary for equivocation.

    Sometimes Keith Oblermann needs to be illogical to attach the illogic.

    A commitment to truth and logic in real news is a scary thing – something many Americans haven’t experienced in their lifetime, and certainly not anything they’ll catch on their local six o’clock news. Keith is treading into untested waters with his brand of journalistic critique. And, even if it’s all just hot air, right now you can hear the bones of the rest of the mainstream media establishment creaking in the wind.

    Or at least that’s what it seems like from my teevee-abstaining, mainstream-media-eschewing vantage point.

    Razor’s Dull Edge

    E and I just got in from a sneak-preview of the new feature-length Battlestar Galactica episode, Razor, which doesn’t air for another two weeks.

    We didn’t have to sign any confidentiality whatsits, so I suppose I’m free to divulge whatever plot points I see fit.

    However, it’s hardly worth it – there’s nothing shocking or titillating present for any well-read BSG fan. The sole delights are Michelle Forbes portraying Admiral Caine’s descent into her ends justifying any means necessary, and an impressive turn from the slight Stephanie Jacobsen in the lead role – as newly introduced Kendra Shaw.

    Past the leading ladies Razor is a empty husk of less-than-gripping retconned plot. The twin stories it portrays are both extraneous – the Pegasus history just as grim as you imagined it, and the Battlestar present (actually, occurring just after The Captain’s Hand) is an inexplicably unmentioned adventure in vintage Cylons, hybrid models, and nuclear warheads. The acting in the Pegasus half is up to BSG par, but the present is plagued by limp, frequently stilted performances the two Adamas, with Kara Thrace escaping with a few good scenes (especially with Kendra).

    Also, keep an eye out for a too-long, horrifically lazy young-Adama flashback that would have been so much more effective as a patented, heavy on the gravitas Edward James Olmos speech intercut with a few illustrative frames. Nevermind how they plan to explain why he’s never mentioned it before or since.

    Without a single true shock to its credit, Razor is drab filler that supposedly presages the major revelations of Season 4. I can’t say that it has inspired any additional fervor from this fervent fan. If anything, it just emphasizes why BSG’s lease on life is drawing to a close.

    (a)Live, (and back) From Australia: Part 1

    You may have detected with your keen bloggy-senses that I took a weekend holiday from CK to commemorate Elise’s return to American soil.

    Well, half of it was in commemoration. The other half was spent in a ridiculous house-cleaning freakout fueled by the inexorable OCD Godzilla demon that resides in the hereditary depths of my soul.

    (And, actually, about a fifth of that half was spent on the couch watching season five of Buffy and eating peanut butter out of a jar. But, I digress.)

    I am still absorbing the national wealth and wonder of Australia via Elise’s stories (the best of which is about how she kidnapped a small boy to tow her kayak) (no, really), but right now I have to share the two that paint the pair of us in the most ridiculously naive light.

    I’ll go first.

    I’ve always assumed that kangaroos are are… you know… special. I’ve only ever seen one or two of them in my life time and, after all, they are a national emblem. So, while they might not be bald eagle special, I’ve spent my entire life assuming that they are least as special as a grizzly bear, or maybe a dolphin – something you don’t often see in your daily travels unless you live adjacent to a very specific terrain.

    Plus: marsupials!

    Also: adorable, in a strangely rodent sort of way.

    Well, if you thought something similar in your decidedly nationalistic naivety I hate to shatter your illusions, but apparently we were dead wrong.

    Not about the latter two things, mind you; no one can take those away. We’re just wrong about the relative scarcity.

    Because, you see, kangaroo are common. Quite common. As common as deer are in Pennsylvania, especially in that you are most likely to encounter them grazing in your yard or narrowly averting them in the middle of a road, and they are fair (and even welcome) game for hunting and eating.

    This seems like the sort of imperatively important thing I should have learned in second grade, or whenever the teacher reveals to a shocked and awed classroom that there are other countries where people don’t spend American dollars.

    (Actually, I knew that all along, and as early as kindergarten and as late as fifth grade I was endlessly amused by the morons my peers who didn’t understand that Philadelphia was a city and Pennsylvania was a state, let alone the nuances of zip codes. But, here I have to digress yet again. Back to kangaroos.)

    I mean… deer are just Bambi, you know? They don’t do anything special like, say, fucking hop at speeds up to 44 miles per hour, or carry their young in a built-in fanny pack. They just walk around and… well, that’s really all they do.

    My point being, deer aren’t magical, imaginary, cartoon creatures that just happen to be real.

    Illusions shattered. Seriously, I can never go back.

    Tune in tomorrow for Elise’s way, way more flagrant display of nativity, which – unlike mine – can’t even be blamed on being an ignorant American.

    Will I?

    I’ve been remastering seven-year-old audio and chipping away at installing WordPress 2.3 for twenty of the last twenty-four hours, and at this point I’ve lost track of which thing I’m doing for fun and which is the chore.

    Oh, I’m sorry, they’re both supposed to be fun? I must have missed the memo, because at the moment I can’t wait to get to work in the morning to do some project management and be free of this insanity for eight or nine hours.

    I’ve been in overdrive every since I spent all of a gorgeous yesterday sitting naked on the couch, eating an entire box of veggie chicken patties, watching inane commentary tracks on fucking Heroes just because that’s what I would watch if Elise was here, followed by wandering off to the bedroom for a three-hour nap while my audio project takes ten minutes to process.

    Clearly some atonement had to occur for that seven-hour period of my life, which is what lead to the weeks-early install of WordPress 2.3, which at the moment fails to impress me in any way, shape, or form. So far it’s fucked up everything I liked about WordPress, resisted the installation of every theme that serves my esoteric organizational needs, and provided me with a useless little box to manually write tags in. They call that a feature? It helpfully suggests “cats, pet food, dogs.”

    Don’t be surprised if you start seeing posts tagged as “you can shove those cats up your ass,” or similar.

    On the plus side, now through almost three hours of archived audio I am getting uncannily good at making seven-year-old Real Audio sound reasonably listenable with 12-band parametric EQ and other assorted magic of GoldWave, which I’ve now been using for almost a decade and which is still hands-down the best audio editing tool you can purchase for under $100. If only it had a project history a la Photoshop it would be perfect…

    (If I was really serious (re: masochistic) I would actually bring multiple tracks of each guitar vocal into my mixing software and tease out each one for a specific purpose, like guitar, vocals, room sound, et cetera, thus creating an artificial four- or eight-track version of something I’ve got on a dismally compressed single take. I’m pretty sure that’s what they do when they remaster old-school wall-of-sound stuff.)

    I seem to have defeated the mid-mastering naps by heading into the hallway to sort laundry, and now that I’ve run out of laundry I just go do sit ups until I start to wheeze, which is usually a sign that my audio is done processing.

    It’s a glamorous life, this pseudo-bachelorhood.

    Did You Know…

    When a show or an actor wants to be nominated for an Emmy, they submit a single episode for consideration. That’s how certain dull and/or niche nominations sometimes sneak through past the obvious choices – they submitted a really good tape.

    You can see this year’s complete list of tape submissions at Gold Derby Forums. It’s sometime surprising to see the episodes that your favorite shows and actors have pegged as their best (or, at least, most obvious).

    Watch the 59th Annual Emmy Awards tonight on Fox. Or, don’t.

    Instead, you can read the article that Alison posted in a comment to my last entry, which illustrates some more of Heroes‘ obvious faults (mostly in comparison to Lost, but also to Buffy and Battlestar).

    Could We Be Heroes

    In eighth grade I started writing the story that would eventually give me my longtime internet handle: Crisis.

    It was half a high school drama and half a superhero comic, paralleling puberty with the onset of special powers that brought with them the life and death choices of adulthood.

    I wrote and re-wrote the story endlessly. Sheaths of handwritten pages, endlessly revised files on my first word processor, and an infamous purple binder in which I worked in parallel on a sequel novella, allowing Gina to read it once a week in the back of Health class.

    I never finished Crisis Team on paper; it mostly existed as a narrative daydreamed in slow moments of class and long waits at the bus stop. Still, I knew every beat of the story, and how they broke down across every chapter. If someone had sat me down at a keyboard for a week I could have typed it in a single unbroken string of sentences.

    Then came Gen 13.

    I can’t even remember why I ordered it at the time, but when I cracked the first issue I realized that Crisis was over before it was finished – Gen 13 copped my entire storyline almost beat for beat, and it did it’s job very well.

    It was too late to change the core concept of my story. all I could do was rewrite and revise and hope to transcend our shared archetype to create something more distinct.


    For the past year I’ve been reading breathless media coverage of Heroes, and how it is the next generation of television, way better than 4400, and a comic fan’s wet teevee dream.

    I admit, I let my hopes get slightly up as details of the plot saturated the media and eventually leaked to me through magazines. The Wolverine/Cheerleader wakes up from an autopsy. The Japanese Nightcrawler learns how to use a sword.

    It all sounded fascinating.

    Now that we’ve Netflixed the DVDs my hopes are proven to have been in vain. I can’t detect anything beyond the mundane about the show, except for Mohinder’s hair. The best I can say for it is that it’s nice to watch so many standard comic archetypes being explored on screen. Not thrilling, or must-see. Just nice.

    By contrast, Elise returned from her pre-Australia shopping trip to inform me that, so far, she loves it. She even powered through an extra four episodes while I was asleep and out at rehearsal.

    I was annoyed for a moment by the disconnect; Elise and I share a perfectly tuned kismet sort of taste in sci-fi television shows from which we hardly ever deviate. The Pretender. Buffy. Alias The 4400. Battlestar Galactica.

    A second later I was all caught up.

    Elise is Gina in Health class, reading from my big purple binder. She can pick an X-Man out of a lineup, but she isn’t connected to the collective comics unconscious that stores all of those many standard stories – that place that Crisis and Gen 13 and Heroes draw their underlying structure.

    I, unsurprisingly, am me, and in my mind Heroes is the same thing as Crisis – just a different medium spinning a familiar archetype.

    Of course, you can argue that about almost any concept. Aren’t most of my songs just reconstituted versions of songs by other people? Haven’t I written this post about this feeling before?

    What’s the difference?

    The difference is the execution.

    I kept rewriting Crisis, hoping that at some point my skillful execution would transcend my story.

    I was hoping the same for Heroes, but it’s all archetype and no execution. The script is inert compared to Buffy (chosen one fights evil, fate) , the pace sluggish compared to The 4400 (people gain and struggle with powers, are discriminated against), and the acting pale in comparison to the revised Battlestar Galactica (original Battlestar Galactica crossed with Star Trek Voyager (original Battlestar Galactica)).

    I was so hoping for something along the lines of that trio of shows – a done-to-death concept rendered thrilling through unusually outstanding execution. And, though Heroes has plenty of story, and plenty of network gloss, it’s that extra ingredient that’s lacking.

    What if…

    If I was Britney Spears’ manager her big comeback would’ve went down a hell of a lot differently than the hot mess that graced the VMAs.

    (First of all, that atrocious club single is not going to get her back to her bestselling days. They really should’ve got her a vocal coach and pitched a Britney unplugged with two new songs and followed up with a hybrid acousti-dance album, a la Madonna’s Music. But, too late for that…)

    Spears VMAMy version of Britney’s performance would have started the same as Sunday’s – a mopey, slightly chubby, lip-sync-flubbing Brit Brit would emerge with her dancers and mime through a verse.

    Then, when all looked dire (but not as dire as tonight’s performance), the song would start skipping, a la Milli Vanilli (or, for the younger crowd, Ashlee Simpson). Then the music would cut out, leaving a befuddled Britney staring into the crowd, helpless. Then, one of the male dancers would turn around and say the song’s opener, “It’s Britney, bitch.”

    Suddently you would realize the dancer was her! But, instead of doing a strip-tease out of the suit (as she has in the past) she would just toss her hat to show off her crazy post-buzz hair at actual length and color, and proceed to just wail the song live without correction to the best of her ability while strutting around in a killer tailored suit.

    The audacity of the emphasis on real hair and real vocals with less dancing and less skin would have left everyone’s jaws on the floor.

    Honestly, I’d be good at this stuff. It’s a shame I’d prefer to get famous myself…

    Acting Agents, Resizing Smart, Blue Collar to Middle Class, Indie Rock Stars, et al

    Speaking of which, here are the links I’ve accumulated since last week.

    I’m a great fan of Television Without Pity, a snarky website that recaps all of the best (and worst) serialized television shows, so imagine my delight to find their new feature “Ask An Agent.” Sure, you’ve seen talent agents in movies and teevee shows, but are they as heartless (and charming) as Entourage’s Ari Gold? TWP correspondent Wing Chun examines every angle with Canadian super-agent Bryan Misener, including perspectives on the differences between Hollywood and Toronto.

    In a random hunt for some sort of Madonna content (god only knows what) I came across a Drowned World Tour recap on Troubled Diva, which I have since taken a bit of a liking to.

    If you are a communications or graphic design nerd of any size, Communication Nation’s post on smart image resizing is absolutely required viewing. That’s the sort of thing I’ve always imagined computers would be able to do. Amazing.

    What If No One’s Watching puts words to a sensation I’ve experienced but never been able to articulate: transitioning from working class roots to middle class adulthood. Now, I don’t fall so squarely into “working class,” but I (and my family) have definitely shifted upwards into the “middle class” category in my lifetime.

    The transition has never been a threat or a disheartenment to me, but sometimes in my newfound yuppy life I am caught off guard when I realize that hardly anyone I know or work with has, say, been on food stamps before. At least Lindsay and I can reminisce about standing in line for government issued cheese.

    Did you know that theversion of “Labor Day” in other countries such as Germany correlates not to their own nationalist labor movement, but to that of the United States? I sure didn’t, but Theatrical Milestones offers an explanation. Also, foodie blog Ethicurean draws a dotted line between unions and America’s agriculture.

    Oh, and a link from Epi: Organic To Be.

    Okay, I can admit I am not an automaton, and some things make me laugh. Such as this narrative eBay description linked by Writing Aspirations. The seller (a blogger) took an unusual approach to describing her product that, in this case, garnered something like a 3000% markup over what she originally paid.

    Sometimes a link gets so memetacular that you can witness it sloughing through your RSS feed, as an illustrated coffee guide has been recently. Usually I ignore these sorts of things, but I cannot tell you how often I’ve explained the contents of this chart to family members and co-workers since my barrista days came to a close. I’m going to post it in my freaking cube for reference.

    Longtime read Coolfer informs me that uber-producer Rick Rubin is now the co-head of Columbia records (via a great NYT article). And, yes, the idea of this one heavily bearded wise man saving the entirety of the music industry is a little hyperbolic, but clearly he comes down on the side of artist development, if only based on how many bands he’s produced where they’ve wound up sounding more like themselves than ever before.

    And, while we’re on the topic of music, I must reiterate my addiction to my two recent mp3blog finds The Yellow Stereo and Philly-based Some Velvet Blog. Why? Because they like indie music, but they still have good taste – a trait critically missing from those who wet themselves over every yowling tuneless indie band that galumphs down the pitchfork pike.

    Georgie-James is one of the rare bands that shares genre-space with our Arcati Crisis duo. Listen to “Cake Parade,” which is especially Gina-ish. I hope we get that catchy when we fill out to band size. The Magic Numbers seem to be in that category as well, except Gina can sing circles around their chick(s).

    Säkert is cool, and all the more catchy for not being in English. I’m also inexplicably into “Summer In the City” by The Boys And Girls Club. Amos The Transparent seems to have some merit, but is not making my needle quiver, so to speak.

    Closing out the music topic, Scott Andrew. He was half of the fabulous Pet Rock Stars, who wrote and recorded two songs from across the country during Blogathon 2003. In the intervening years he’s become the rocker/blogger than I’ve always aspired to be, seamlessly integrating his music into his page while keeping it a blog.

    Scott has a new record coming out, the progress of which you can follow back to the cover shoot, or even the decision about whether it was going to be an album or not.

    I would support Scott in concept, except for he’s an amazing singer and songwriter, so I can support him in reality instead. I’m looking forward to catching up to him a bit this year.

    (Also, note to self: you have three days left to sponsor the new Mieka Pauley disc, which is going to be excellent. Check out her mindbendingly awesome “All The Same Mistakes” on Myspace.)

    Finally, some quick hit links.

    Ffffound is, in the words of Fresh Arrival: del.icio.us for cool photos you find online. Handy when you’re looking for a post topic in a pinch.

    From the increasingly beloved MLarson: Indexed Blog, which is easier to see than to explain. Monome, an intriguing Philly-based design interface that frankly makes no sense to me but is still quite fascinating (note to self: maybe interview them?). You don’t need a plan, you need skills and a problem. A sentence truer than you think.

    From the lengthily adored Make You Go Hmm: G.ho.st is a virtual desktop, useful if you work across several different computers each day. Aerogel is the lowest density product currently known to man, which I only halfway understand (decent explanation here) and will have Gina elaborately describe to me over the weekend. PriceProtectr tracks the things you’ve bought in case the price drops soon enough for you to get a rebate. Did you know that Amazon will refund the difference in price within 30-days of purchase? I bet you didn’t.

    Fin: Heather Champ with my photo of the week.

    I so did not violate any confidentiality agreements by writing this post.

    How to write this post and not get fired? It’ll be tricky.

    You all know by now I work in communications for a major Philadelphia company, and I love it. I get paid to do things I would probably be doing at home by myself anyway, as frightening as that concept is.

    What you might not know (because I haven’t mentioned it in about seven years) is that I had a childhood obsession with the Price Is Right. I loved the One Bid, I loved the Showcase Showdown.

    But, I loved nothing more than I loved Plinko.

    I was obsessed with the way the penny slid into the board and plunked back and forth and to and fro down the pegs before it finally wound up in a prize slot.

    You might not understand how those two facts are connected to each other. Here’s a hint:

    Right now, somewhere in Philadelphia, there is a fully functional Plinko board.

    I can’t tell you why there is a Plinko board, or where the Plinko board is, because it’s … well, it might be a trade secret? Like, if I were to reveal the purpose and location of the Plinko board, the reason behind my termination would be “dissemination of trade secrets on the internet.” I think.

    What I can reveal is that within the last month my co-workers’ “duties as assigned” meant they had to acquire said Plinko board, and that when I walked one of said co-workers to the parking lot today I came within one hot second of climbing onto the roof of her mini-van like a fucking ninja and riding that sucker through rush hour to the location of the Plinko board.

    I have been promised photos, and possibly even a video demo, of the Plinko board in action. Yet, pester, plead, and outright beg as I might I could not obtain permission to play, touch, or even view the Plinko board at its secret location. And, after tomorrow, it will be gone, whisked away by the cruel whims of fate (and/or the decrepit liver-spotted claws of nigh unknown game show dieties).

    However, though I may be barred from visiting the Plinko mecca, or enlisting you to help me gain entry to it by some nefarious means, I have taken away one important thing from this experience:

    I now know that there is a life-sized, fully-functional Plinko board that can be delivered to the Philadelphia metro area.

    And, I’m pretty sure I have a high enough credit limit to rent it for the weekend…

    Weird Is Relative

    Last week at work everyone was buzzing about Emmitt Smith winning some sort of television show about dancing.

    Since I am totally divorced from the magical land of time-suck known as television I thought they were just putting me on. You have to admit, it does sound improbable, aside from the fact that it’s altogether blasphemous for such salt-of-the-earth Philadelphians to be happy about a former Dallas Cowboy winning anything.

    Yet, strange as it all seemed, it was true. My work friends once again took this opportunity to mock me for my self-imposed teevee blackout, as if i had given up using adjectives or basking in the light of the sun.

    I wanted to shoot back, “How many concerts have you been to this month? How many have you recorded? And how many blogs (over a thousand) have you read?”

    Of course, my weirdness doesn’t end in my eschewing of the boob tube. Another point of endless fascination is that I don’t drive – I don’t even have my license. I’ve had my permit a few times, and am actually flirting with getting it again, but when it comes down to it I’m distrustful of cars, and moreso of the people who drive them.

    Still, people always ask, “Why wouldn’t you want to own/drive a car,” and in my head i complete the sentence “…in the city recently named as the second-most expensive in the country to do so?”

    Usually my tv blackout wins out against non-driving as weirdest trait, but a competing one is my flirtation with vegetarianism – which is patently ridiculous, as my current state of consumption is incredibly lax in comparison to when I was a rules-obeying vegetarian for my latter teen years.

    By comparison, my current rules are so loose i can hardly coin a term for them … lacto-ovo-pesco-broth-o-vegetarian? I’m not trying to make a statement; i just don’t like red meat, and i eat healthier on the whole when I can’t rely on variations on chicken nuggets for every meal.

    A few years ago it would have all gotten under my skin, crawling around in my subconscious, making me doubt myself. Now it’s more like, eh, if they tried it they’d understand. Because, all weirdness is relative.

    Endless Intake (or, Thoughts on Identity)

    I often move through my life feeling as though I have no walls – no resistance to the personalities and pop culture surrounding me.

    For years I absorbed the opinions and styles of everything and everything else so much so that I had trouble getting a handle on who I was underneath it all. My opinions and reactions were just a collection of easily identified demographic influences – everything to do with what I consumed or the image that others projected on me, and very little to do with me.

    I often manifested this uncertainty of self by acting out – needing to grow out my hair, or to wear flashy clothes and makeup, or to be the loudest most-opinionated person in a room. I still like doing all three of those things from time to time, but now I see that – taken as a whole – they were just my way of trying to create a tangible, distinguishable identity. No one could ignore or forget the long-haired boy in body glitter and black vinyl arguing with you at the top of his lungs.

    My outgrowth of that phase might be why explain why I have given up radio and television altogether. People often express shock and horror at the fact that I don’t watch television at all; it’s as if they cannot comprehend even the idea of it. Too many people define themselves by the television show they spend the most time watching, and as a minor-league obsessive-compulsive and a major-league fan I was primary amongst that demographic.

    After over two years of media deprivation and gainful employment I feel like I have a better handle on “me” than ever. I’ve found enough of my own opinions, tastes, and stories that I no longer need them to be sublimated by the tightly written copy of others.

    However, aside from locking myself in my room I still haven’t found a way to resist the influence of people, and how they make me feel so fuzzy around the edges as their traits osmose into me. I pick up other people’s handwriting as if I am made of silly putty, the curves and splines of my letters easily influenced. My manner and style of speech is just is easily swayed.

    I like blogging because it is a way of taking back me. I’ve always been the most comfortable with the written word, and keeping a written archive of my experiences and feelings allows me to re-experience – re-absorb – the aspects of me that matter the most. It makes it easier to get back in character because it represents the most crystalline, most consistent version of me.

    I might not ever have a defense against the barrage of media and opinions that greets me each day as I set foot on my front step, but I now also have something much more indelible at my center. And that’s a good feeling.

    Anyanka

    One day i will be able to watch the finale of Buffy and not cry every time Anya is on screen.


    If only we could get a little teevee running the finale at the side of the stage, i could cry in the play.

    Do Something

    This MetaFilter post is today’s required reading. I like to think of myself as having become desensitized to almost all international news about death and suffering, but i find this story to be very disturbing – maybe because it not only involves innocent bystanders, but also journalists.

    I’m too tired to go into full-on-rant mode, but there is obviously something very wrong with the American Military system. I don’t think it can be blamed on a single official or administration. A systematic change needs to occur, and i don’t think it’s coming our way anytime soon.

    On a note that would only seem related if you were me, i have never been happier to not own a television than during yesterday’s Eagle’s game. Having been close to 100% teeveefree for over two months, for every second of my viewing i was aghast at the utter nonsense and stupidity communicated by almost every aspect of the televised medium. Aside from a handful of cerebral commercials, i felt every aspect of my viewing experience prodding me to lower my perceptions to that of the lowest common denominator of the viewing public.

    I am vaguely aware of a “turn off your televisions” week that’s sponsored by some organization at some point of the year. I always found that to be somewhat misguided, both in design and purpose. Does anyone even do it? Do those that do even get the point, or notice the difference? Try turning it off for a month. Try throwing it out.

    Television is the ultimate indulgence of utter passivity, the apex of wasted time. Stop watching MTV and write a song. Stop watching soap operas, and dream your own life. I fully recognize that some television can be art (Angels In America), and that apropos wittiness can sometimes make an indulgence worthwhile (Buffy), but most of the time it’s just an excuse not to be doing something else.

    Finally, a reminder via my good friend Lindsay. October 3 is the deadline for voter registration for the November Election. If you aren’t registered, have recently moved, or need an absentee ballot, you still have a few weeks to straighten out the details. Specifically, for registration concerns, try Vote For Change, and for issues with locating a polling place try Election Impact.

    Most importantly, just vote, goddamnit. Vote for an independent. Write in your mom. I don’t care. The point is not just about choosing but about being a part of the process. I understand that you can’t make it to the polls for every primary or local election; neither can i. This one, however, is a must. If you can’t find the time to vote, or to use the internet to register for an absentee ballot so you don’t have to find the time, I don’t think you need to bother to find the time to read this page. Or speak to me ever again.

    Please take today as your opportunity to do something. About anything. Be tangible; effect change.

    Jennifuh! (and other pre-dinner fun)

    No time to unload the lengthy post i’ve been jotting down between hours of research — i’m heading to dinner at my favorite restaurant with Elise, who got us onto the guest-list for a show tonight. While you await my return, here’s some quick hits that i might develop further when i return.

    This week’s American Idol bootee Jennifer Hudson has a new fan site. It’s quite frightening. I was always on the fence about Jennifer, but after watching her duet with Barry Manilow currently linked from the main page i have changed my mind. That performance easily trumps anything i’ve seen on idol so far this year.

    Is Google the beginning of Skynet? Excellent daily read TDavid urges Terminator fans everywhere to imagine the possibility.

    I make it a point not to follow celebrity court cases, but VH1 (of all place) offers a very human peek at how Michael Jackson’s current controversy got started. The facts seem to check out, which only makes this latest saga even sadder.

    Denmark vs Canada: A Bitter Cold Grudge Match! In a peek at the intellectual humor that marks his concerts, my folk hero weighs in on this conflict over a “small, frozen rock.”

    I love reading SugarMama. Apparently, so does Jett. I love how Jett continues to make appearances in comments all over the web while she procrastinates in getting her kick ass blog back on schedule. Meanwhile, Look for sugarmama to appear on the sidebar any minute now.

    I’ve stopped being able to tell the fact from the fiction over at Acerbia, but i’m hoping this recent post is the latter. A great example of how you can use blogs for nefarious unbloglike purposes.

    Will i shave? I don’t want to meet the band looking all scruffy, but this is my last chance to endure the scraggly stages of my virtually non-existant facial hair to see if it can turn into something more dignified before i head out into the work world. Can you imagine me with a moustache? Would i just look like a bad porn star? What about a goatee? Discuss.