Blogger just ate the archives again. I now truly believe it is a substandard and unworthy piece of shit, and no amount of arguing can convince me otherwise. There comes a point where usability is eclipsed by total lack of functionality. I’ll be off as soon as i can find a better alternative, even if it’s hand-coding. Cause, that’s better.
Isn’t it funny that i can’t distinguish between an adventurous year and a low-point in my life? It either speaks to how much i trust my television’s depiction of actual life or of how boring my life has been so far that i can’t imagine me doing anything truly fun and worthwhile like visiting Europe, or traveling cross-country, or joining a rock band. I would feel like a much healthier person if i could separate the two impulses rather than merging them in a twisted soap opera amalgam. How would you suggest i make my life feel lived in? Skydive? Play chicken with Septa buses? Walk around my neighborhood carrying something obviously valuable and brace for mugging? I need something…
Other than the one day where i was deathly ill, this’ll be the earliest i’ve gone to bed in three weeks. To the day. Yeah. Now ask me how much class i’ve missed…
I was sorta expecting to have a wild year sometime in the midst of college. Last year i smoked pot a handful of times, but that hardly composes a bad streak all on its own, especially considering the romantic and sexual isolation i was experiencing at the time. This was going to be the year, though. It’s not exactly a cocaine addiction or anything, but it would’ve been something to tell Behind the Music about. This was going to be the year that i lived through drunken stories that could i hardly recall and slightly regretted tales of mornings after and all that. That’s not to say that i would have been a huge slut, because i love to lord my virginity over other (less pure) people, and i probably wouldn’t ever drink that much because i have an extremely healthy sense of my limitations – but i could’ve worked around those issues.
So, what’s the condition of this awful streak now? The story ends with my drinking leveling off, me actually maintaining a vestige of a social life, and *gasp* actually dating. I know, it’s weird. The weirdest part is, i still have zero-experience outside of this single relationship, so for as long as i stay within it i’m relatively going to be suspending my wild streak. But… i don’t want a handful of idiotic jaunts to consist of my entire youthful rebellion; however, admitting that i wouldn’t mind fucking up worse in the future basically admits the lack of validity of my relationship, which does not lend itself to alcohol poisoning or random drug addiction.
Can a healthy relationship and an urge to live one emotionally and physically shitty year co-exist peacefully in my life? Um… stay tuned?
If you were wondering what happened to the rest of my day today/yesterday, you should probably take a look at tammyloh.uprush.org, which is a parody of the sparkling tammyloh.com for an Immunity Challenge over at SurvivorBlog. There’s some fun pictures of me scattered throughout, plus lots of mean face-biting commentary that probably only Tammy will get. Wheee! Love those injokes.
You should probably hate me.
I don’t know if you noticed at all, but i sorta went out and got a life. I have to battle against the opposing forces of rehearsal, class, work, (survivorblog,) and a girlfriend before i get to this lonely white screen, and once i’m there i still need something to say. And i’ve got nothing to say. This nothing is a different sort of nothing than i used to have. In the past i’ve called myself two dimensional and claimed that i don’t have a single interesting thing to divulge to anyone other than the banal comings and going of my life. Now i feel somewhat oppositely… almost like i’m content that my life is full of actual happenings, so i don’t have to talk about them so much to prove their existence. Or maybe i think too much.
I’d also like to apologize for a lack of Trio … my guitar has been MIA for nearly two weeks now at my least favourite music shop in the city, getting repairs. I’d like to have a moment of silence for it, starting now…
… thnx. Love y’all.