Today i wrestled with a stamp machine for nearly ten minutes. 10! Stamps were $4.95, and i only had dollars in my wallet. I fed two semi-new dollars into the machine without incident, but the next two were rejected repeatedly despite my heroic efforts to flatten and smooth them. I tried to get my first two dollars back only to be informed by the machine that no change would be given without a purchase. Flustered, i mounted another assault on the dollar slot and it finally accepted dollars 3 and 4. Now i was down to my last dollar, and it would have to go into the machine. However, the machine seemed rather set against this. After spending three minutes trying every method i could think of with my last good dollar, i desperately turned to ask passers-by for a crisper dollar than mine. While i did this, the stamp dispensing machine began beeping madly. I spun on it and was informed that my four dollars would be forfeited if i did not immediately buy something, insert more money, or press the ‘yes’ button. Not trusting my dollar to save its four friends i lunged for the ‘yes’ button after searching for it for a few nervous seconds. Several more tries with my dollar were unsuccessful, but finally the nicest woman i’ve ever met offered me a crisp new one dollar bill that worked on the first try. I gave her my slightly-crinkled dollar and my profuse thanx before turning back to the machine to select a fetching book of a stamps adorned with berries.