So, she’s gone now. Knowing she isn’t just a few blocks away somehow makes this all easier. I feel like we’re magnets with a positive and a negative pole each, and that we keep drawing close to one another only to get the wrong ends lined up so that we push each other away again. But, it’s all pointless, because i can’t go back. It’s not pride, which she seems to suspect it is. It’s just… she’s okay with settling for me even though i might not be the best thing for her, but i’m afraid to settle for anything right now. I told her i’d look her up in four years if she’d like and i think i might have really meant it … because there’s something remarkable about someone who you like so much that you can put your own misery aside to be with them. I just can’t appreciate that right now…