Things i learned while shopping: Whatever is on the end of the aisle is a impulse buy, even if it’s 2for1 Captain Crunch and you’re convinced that it’s exactly what you meant to eat for breakfast today // Unless you own a lemon farm, buying lemonade in bulk is the same price and the same ingredients [as making your own] // The people who bag groceries really enjoy it if you make light of your stupidity instead of just complaining // Quarts of milk are going out of style // I should buy Quaker granola bars by the gross rather than spending $20 on them at a time // However, if you find something you really like to eat on sale and it doesn’t spoil, there is no reason not to buy as many of them as you can afford // Yet, nonspoilable food tends to just sit in my cabinet while i order takeout, so i have to find a happy medium. // Knives are cheaper at kitchen stores, but they look sharper when sitting next to a lone spatula in the cook-wares aisle // I shouldn’t have to spend money on food for two weeks unless i have a growth spurt. // If you buy a quart of yogurt, you are not expected to eat it all on one serving. Really. // Cream cheese expires too fast to be appreciated. // You cannot free all of the lobsters, and even if you could you’d eventually get hungry and eat your roommate’s favourite one.
by krisis
[…] Specifically, there was the two of us sitting on the floor in front of our stereo singing the harmony to “Band on the Run” (even though she’s been a snob about Wings for as long as i can remember) (and, also, us doing the flip-out vocals to “Oh, Darling” later in the car because, yes, we are Paul McCartney addicts), my showing her how to operate the self-checkout lane in Superfresh (and saying “Okay, rolls, *dramatic pause* this is where it gets a little complicated”), watching her trying to coax my cat out from under my bed because he forgets who i am (”It’s Peter, the one who used to squeeze you and chase you and torment you a lot. You remember him, don’t you?” “We’re trying to get him to come out, mom.”), her shocked (and amusing) exclamation of “And exactly how am i supposed to make breaded eggplant parmigiana without eggs?” when i asked if we could have Rabi over to eat something credibly Italian, and especially this introductory exchange: Peter – [incredulously] When did you get so… blonde? […]