It was a weird dream; all i really remember was something about trying to play Peter Mulvey songs on a corn muffin, getting in the middle of a prison brawl, and Ashton Kutcher giving Clay Aiken a very sloppy blowjob.

I’m not sure if there was a causal relationship connecting one to the next, but i was as confused when i woke up as i was to see where Clay had chosen to get pierced.