I have a well-documented history of spending February indoors avoiding people and neglecting my creativity. I watch movies, play video games and berate myself for watching movies and playing video games rather than writing magnum opus blogs and an album.
That the month is bisected by my dating anniversary with E – now eight years – doesn’t help matters. In fact, sometimes the intersection of anniversary with my shut-in status just re-emphasizes my desire to live the rest of my life as a hermit.
If January is for resolutions, February is for malaise and self-hatred. I’m not sure if it’s a Virgo thing, but it’s as reliable as the sunrise.
It helps my hermit case that I’ve just now shaken the remainder of a nasty bought of possible laryngitis. Also, our block remains under sixish inches of ice, and getting anywhere in the city has required about a mile walk to a reliably non-detoured form of public transit.
Happily, this year I pulled myself away from Netflixing through Lost and playing Creeper World long enough for a Valentine’s brunch with E at one of my favorite upscale pubs, Nodding Head, where we were serenading by the jazz stylings of one of my favorite musicians, Alexandra Day.
So, there’s my one social engagement for the month. There are ten days left, and I am already chalking them off as lost. Maybe if I can embrace the vast nothingness of this awful month then I can find some small delight in any minor progress I make as a person from within its icy grasp.
Elise says
What’s that you say? The remainder of the month is “lost?”
krisis says
Drink.
patty punker says
february funk is def not a virgo thing. the lack of light is killing this scorpio. irritable, eating too much, sad, and anxious. i should be caged, but self-imposed hermitry is kinder. chin up buttercup.
Jenn says
February is usually one of the most brutal months out there as far as mood is concerned. It’s yet to be determined why, but it’s probably due to getting over the holidays and still realizing that there’s just not enough sunlight out there to boost your mood. Don’t worry.. sun will be out soon! :)