krisis

Sometimes i find myself with free time on my hands, just staring at my website. Since my site is very much based on content that is in some way artistic, i often have the will to work on it but nothing to work on. New layouts are always fun, but i don’t usually have graphics on hand to do them with. In fact, my site was never graphics intensive (aside from the IF backgrounds) in any of its incarnations. Right now i am at a sort of impasse: i am working on new songs but not ready to demo any of them, i have no new poetry, and this is the currently active part of Crush. What i am working on right now is some fiction, both totally original and fan-fic. Expect to see a section for it coming soon. Otheriwse, i am hoping the new school year will bring some inspiration along with its hustle and bustle.

I am UnionBay’s whore. Perhaps they have quite a few floating around, but i definitely rank rather high on the list. I bought my first UB shirt way back in 8th grade, when “Undone” by Weezer first hit the radio. The shirt was soon followed, almost coincidentally, by another shirt. Realizing that i liked both shirts, soon jeans were bought to accompany them. Not long thereafter i began my high school carreer, and Freshmen year was outfitted in corduroy and flannel, comfy and big enough to obscure my skeltal frame. Sophmore year began my love of sparkly things, but i still stuck by UnionBay and made sure to obtain both their simple and sporty T’s, carge khaki pants, and their fun polyester retro shirts. Freshman year of college was dotted with more khaki, long sleeved T-shirts, and trendy, baggy pants with snaps and pull strings. I couldn’t tell you why i am so obsessed with UB clothing; i ridicule people who dress only from Gap, Nike, or Tommy Hill. While their clothing amkes people a walking billboard or manequin, i feel as though my style simply collides with UB enough to make it practical to buy their clothing. To be sure, there are items in the UB collection that i find either hideous or totally impractical, and i’ll be the first to admit it. However, almost everything they’ve ever made magically matches everything else, and i know exactly how their clothes will fit me. Today i came home with a pair of jean shorts that don’t fall off my ass and the most wonderful shiny jeans ever made. Already i am coordinating these new items with older parts of the UB catalogue in my head. One day, when i am a burgeoning rock star, i hope that they’ll sponsor my tour. Especially since i’ll assuredly be wearing their clothes at almost every casual appearance along the way.

Now that all that bitchiness is out of my system…

In the time since college started i have spent less than one month inside my own house. And, i can tell you, most of that month [which was spread over the entire year] was miserable. Over Thanksgiving break i had to bring my computer home to work on a paper, over Christmas break i was sicker than i’ve been in years, and for spring break i had my wisdom teeth out. So, i admantly refused to come home for summer. I got my Orientation job, which assured me housing for the entire summer term. I eventually began my apartment search. I did all the right things. However, i am posting this from my house. I get sucked in, to watch a movie, to feed the cat, to pick up something i need. And every time i get sucked in i spend my time here or leave miserable. I am miserable right now. Happily, this only has to do with my mother in that she makes me stress out more than anyone else alive. Otherwise, we get along well. Right now i feel as though i could explode from random stress, and i can’t even go to my favourite sites because i don’t have them bookmarked here. So, i’m miserable and not even tired and i still have to go back to the dorm before i can go to work tomorrow because i only wore flip-flops home and i need to wear shoes for work. Blah.

I was planning to write about going shopping… hell, i had written the entire entry already. And then one, tiny, inadvertant window resize caused Netscape to reload all the of the visible frames (instead of just the one it needed to shrink) and my twenty minutes of writing was gone. I hate Netscape. Yes, it’s the only browser i have ever used. Yes, i love the options i get out of the right click menu. But, frankly, it just isn’t worth it anymore. I have lost more of my own written material this month to the whims of Netscape than i have ever lost to any computer i have owned in the last five years. Why? Because of my incompetence? I wish i could say that was the cause, since it is one i can personally control. Sadly, it is because Netscape has rapidly degraded to a buggy piece of shit (which i’m sure has something to do with AOL owning it). So, it looks as though i might be forced to turn to MSIEX. Is it designed for an idiot? Yes. Does its integration into Windows make it both a nuisance and a threat? For sure. Does it give you options you don’t need but take away options you should have? Totally. Do i have any choice other than to switch? None whatsoever. Right now the only reason i still use Netscape is that i have five years of mail saved in my backfiles for Messenger. But we’ve all got to leave home sometime.