When you lean in for a kiss, it’s a moment of empathy. You can’t just be driven by your own desire, or you’ll be going nowhere. Finding that empathic moment, that’s the hard part, not pursing your lips. That’s not hard at all.
by krisis
best of
I get this feeling before i write a song… like i have all sorts of static electricity charged up and it’s be released as soon as my pen hits the paper. Words and phrases buzz in my head until finally the tip touches down and the flow begins. All charged up.
I wish someone was taking video of my first kiss. It’s like i lose a little of the image quality every time i play it back in my memory, until finally i’m just imagining it. Instead of seeing her face draw close i just imagine us in a pose like any barbie and ken doll can achieve, substituting my idealized picture for what actually happened. Maybe it was awkward instead of artful, but that momentary pause that came with the awkwardness meant everything, and without it i don’t have anything left but the trace left from the words she whispered in my ear. They’re still ringing.
The theory about interiour monologues is that they don’t really belong to you. Your inner voice has developed from years of familiar and societal affectation, and you can’t stop it anymore than you can stop breathing air. Of course, the voice will be very similar to you (whatever “you” is/are), but you have no control over it. It is an independent wandering stream of thought that just happened to sit through every boring class and hot date that you’ve ever attended.
I over-narrate. My songs are all stories that i tell again and again. This log is less musings on life than bland daily (and hourly, and momentary) reports on the status of my life. My annalytical term papers are “too narrative – though it makes for a good story.” Hell, even my prose is too – i don’t know – prosey. I am much to fixated on ways to say things and not nearly interested enough in the ways that allow me to expand upon the story being told. It’s the same as my album reviews saying everything about a song except for a single thing about its sound. I’m not sure what i’m supposed to do about it, but there it is, laid out as plainly as i can understand it. Or: is that the problem….