An hour past showtime. I will never, ever, ever play into microphones outdoors ever again in my career as a bitchy little folk singer. The student tech crew could inexplicably not get either of our guitars to come in via our pickups, so we had to mic them both with microphones. Now, i dunno if you’ve ever seen me play before, but i shimmy around like a belly dancer with a cricket put down the back of my shirt, so giving me a stationary microphone to play my guitar at is the worst idea you could ever have. Furthermore, they couldn’t even get our vocal mics to come out of the monitors in front of us, so i couldn’t hear Gina singing anything directly, just from off to the side. After sitting there strumming a G chord for ten minutes while the sound guys did everything but get us any sort of monitor mix we could hear, we finally decided to start and see what happened.
“Punk” was a thankfully quick crash and burn, though at that point we were assuming the monitor problem would get fixed. In our naivety we managed to get some good harmony going. However, the set took a downturn during “Deadweight” when two obnoxious guys were standing directly in front of us having a conversation and we still couldn’t hear ourselves playing. I, of course, started directing all of the lyrics right at the conversationalists – which wound up getting their attention rather quickly (they especially looked up when i screamed “i can’t get rid of you even if i want to, cause your deadweight the way you serve no purpose”). “With or Without You” was quick and rather painless for me because Gina was singing, but i couldn’t hear her guitar so i didn’t know what the hell was going on. “Lost” sucked because i couldn’t hear my guitar over the reverb of our voices (which finally found their way into the monitor), so i basically just played it quick and angry (which generally works well). I stalked off to retune after that and Gina bravely attempted “Landslide” solo while the wind dueted into her microphone, after which i came jogging back onto the stage for a very brave attempt at “Under My Skin” (in which the solo was rendered totally moot because Gina had no pickup for her acoustic guitar so we couldn’t hear what she was playing). After that we were supposed to play another 20 minutes of songs, but i was basically just muttering “fuck” under my breath inbetween every lyric and Gina was totally frustrated, so we hammered out “Can’t Do” and walked right off the front of the staging area without even saying thank you. Yep… i’m a rock star in training; i’ve got the attitude and everything.
The next band’s instruments all plugged in fine and the band sounded wonderful, even though they had too much reverb. There was a chick guitarist in the last band, but i was too pissed to hang around much longer. Somehow i managed to sell fifteen demos in the midst of all of this, but that leaves me with mucho extra copies, so get your orders in now. Ugh.
under my skin
I’m starting to hate “Under My Skin“. Sure, it’s a wonderful song, and i love to perform it alone or with Gina backing me, but it’s starting to make me feel like a one-hit-wonder in training. Despite my playing a whole host of songs for my friends here at Drexel for well over a year, the one they always ask for when i’m playing is “Under My Skin” (or, if it’s Renata – “Play ‘legends of the flesh!'”). While they recognize “Never Say Goodbye,” “Deadweight,” “Crashing,” and “Lost,” “Under My Skin” is undoubtably the one that sticks out in their minds. UMS is the only song my mother has ever complemented me on, even after listening to my entire demo twice last night. I’m truly flattered by all of the attention, but i honestly can’t make a prediction on how long any song is going to be sticking around in my performances for; some songs like “Other Plans” seem to want to hang around forever, but other early favourites like “Touch” have fallen off the face of my musical landscape and are hardly every recalled.
I don’t play things just because people like them – i play them because i have something to say. While it feels nice to know that someone might be singing along to something, there are nights that UMS feels redundant in the face of newer material. Furthermore, i come from the Ani DiFranco school of performing that states that i can leave out any songs i don’t want to play, and that i can feel free to change the tempo and lyrics of anything people seem to be too comfortable with. Of course, at this point i shouldn’t give a fig about challenging my audience – i ought to just find one. It’s just that i see all the attention getting funnelled towards the middle of my new cd, where “Under My Skin” lies, and all the other songs that i worked harder and longer on are being ignored. I think i’m going to leave UMS in it’s pre-mix for the album … raw, and unfinished. It isn’t a perfect song, and there’s no reason i should try to make it sound like one.
How often do you see people walking around playing guitar? I mean… not while you’re walking around and they’re sitting down, but when they have a guitar strapped on and they’re walking down the sidewalk across the street from you while singing. I usually sing on my way back home from the office, and i draw odd looks most of the time (i don’t really endeavor to sing under my breath…), so today i was coming back from a rehearsal with Gina (for our show in the Quad on the 3rd) and i decided to play a few songs. I had gotten through “Punk” and into the outro of “Under My Skin” when i was flagged down and invited into my favourite pizza place by the chef, who asked me to play a few songs. I obliged by ripping into a bouncy version of “Under My Skin” in an attempt to hold the attention of the various patrons (which really was just two sisters with one’s child, the cook and his mother, and two young boys splitting a pizza) and at the end they clapped. I’ve been clapped at dutifully, or patronizingly, but instead they kept clapping after i smiled and thanked them and reset my capo for the next song and started.
Thirty minutes and four songs later i left the pizza place having promised to return with my new CD next week and having been invited to play at a restaurant downtown on Monday. I got several odd looks as i entered the more residential neighborhood while playing “Crashing,” but just as many people smiled and nodded as i passed them with a strum. I think i’ve found a new way to spend Saturday afternoons…
So, um, yeah. My mother hated last year’s demo because she’s stupid. Or, rather, she is all about the show that’s put on for her, and she can’t notice lyrics or songwriting without it. The demo was explicitly meant as a showcase of those two things, since it totally lacked quality of production, but she could never get past that so she never really listened to it. So, suddenly she’s handed a tape with a studio quality “under my skin” on it, and she wants to send it to the record companies right now despite the fact that it still pretty much sounds like shit. Of course, she doesn’t care, because the studio EQ and the backing vocals are there so she can gush all over it and say that i’ve never done anything worthwhile ever before in my life. Which is the worst compliment she could ever pay me, because this is the product of my life, not its sum total. Or something. This is why she’s in Florida right now and i don’t mind so much…
I’m starting to feel famous. Or, more accurately, people are actually starting to know and recognize my songs. Sure, it’s not hundreds of people, but i have enough of a market for the upcoming disc that i’m actually looking into getting it printed rather than just burning them one by one. The fact that i played “Under My Skin” last night twice and that people sang along makes it that much better. Amy thinks it’s an ego thing, but honestly i’m just happy that all of my sonic toiling is finally having an effect on people. Not quite a rock star yet, but i’ve got some years left before i get my diploma to work on it :p