Elise in Easter-mafia skullcap.
Heart of Bread.
Comic Books, Drag Race, & Life in New Zealand
by krisis
Elise in Easter-mafia skullcap.
Heart of Bread.
by krisis
I forget sometimes that Elise and I are total yuppies who have jobs at insurance agencies across the street from each other, and that part of being said yuppies is that we spend money on… well, just about everything.
Case and point: we both like good liquor, and Elise is sprouting a bit of a taste for wine. I say this not to brag about having good taste in liquor, cause i mostly buy by brand and by what doesn’t leave me with a headache, but just to illustrate how the two of us like to HAVE things. We’re very have-y people. I typically keep at least three different kinds of vodka in the house, and none of those kinds are Banker’s Club or Smirnoff. Elise has a similar assortment of tequila (and never the twain shall meet). We even buy nice mixers; i think the only truly cheap thing in our cabinet is brandy i bought for making sangria.
I sometimes forget that not everyone is like this. The ex, between stories about nearly being arrested in London, crashing at his house until he was made a formal roommate, and following his favorite punk band on tour (all relatively isolated incidents – he’s actually quite charming; the most objectionable thing he’s done all night is touch my computer screen, which i somehow managed to endure but quickly clean up after in an OCD frenzy when he visited the bathroom) had made a sizable dent in my Strawberry Stoli. As that’s my favorite of the current vodkas, when he went back to the kitchen to mix another drink i hollered from the living room, “you should work on the Grey Goose, it’s in the freezer.”
He looked from me, to Elise, and back to me, tipsily dumbfounded. Was this sort of ex-boyfriend test? Was i really asking him to switch from Stoli to GG?
“Well, we’ve got more of the goose.”
by krisis
(And, i’m up here writing about him on my blog, which would seem lame on top of being passive aggressive except for i was, you know, at the forefront of blogging culture and have had this site for, like, eight decades in blog years. But, for a second i was just thinking “i’m up here writing about him on my blog” and i just shuddered, but then i thought “well, at least it’s not on my livejournal,” and then i felt a little bit better.)
by krisis
Okay. I have now given him the tour of our house, eaten dinner, and had three more drinks.
I think i have identified the perfect drink-to-Elise’s-ex ratio, because we’re having a more charming conversation between the two of us than Elise is having with either of us.
Well, not right now, but a minute ago, when i was in the kitchen.
We shared a moment. Actually, several consecutive moments. Like, a naughty daisy chain of moments. See, first he was talking about Golden Girls, which is one of my favorite television shows ever. So, we’re in the kitchen enthusing about our favorite GG moment’s and he says “Bea Arthur” and I off-handedly remark to Elise “of course, now i’m singing that song in my head,” meaning Rufus Wainwright’s “California” where he belts out “and my new grandma Bea ArTHUR!” And, he was like, “oh, yeah, i know that song. I love that album.” And, THEN, we simultaneously launch into Rufus Wainwright concert stories in which we cry for the majority of his set.
I mean, what are the chances of two guys who like Rufus independent of a girlfriend’s influence and who are straight (mostly) (i think).
So, yeah, i think as long as i keep drinking and he keeps liking Rufus Wainwright i won’t even be freaked out by the fact that he’s sleeping in my house.
by krisis
It is t-minus something to Attack of the Well-Mannered Ex part deux. He is in a cab somewhere, trying to find our tiny street.
As a precautionary measure, i have already begun to drink.
My only ex being not exactly a house-guest caliber person (for fear she would steal or break things, or try to sleep with one or both of us), i really don’t have any exes to bring into the have-over-for-dinner equation. So, the concept of an ex i’d not only allow into my home, but be happy to see and want Elise to get along smashingly with is entirely outside of my grasp.
Inching towards the four-year mark of our relationship i can’t say that i’m jealous, but…
Oh, here he is. shit shit shit, he’s coming into my room. minimize blogger. must not be passive-aggressive in front of company.