selfy-stuff

Bad Teenage Poetry Blogging Day

August 12, 2008 by krisis

Yesterday Rabi pointed out that Superlagirl had declared today to be bad teenage poetry blogging day, and issued a challenge for other bloggers to join her in participating.

Alright then, Rabi. I’ll see your four pieces of (debatably) bad teenage poetry and – against my better judgment – raise you my (less-debateably) bad teenage poetry website preserved in all of its framed glory, directly imported from Geocities.

Behold: Synonyms for Damage. Even the name is bad teenage poetry!

Honestly, I only reinstated it for the novelty of having it there – I wouldn’t encourage you to surf through it, as I will share the chief passages of note below.

Taking a pass at success.

August 3, 2008 by krisis

Earlier this week Lifehack ran a thought-provoking article about the 10 skills you need to succeed (at almost anything).

Usually when I happen upon these sorts of articles I expect zeitgeist-y skills like “learn to recognize a tipping point,” or soon-to-be-obsolete accomplishments such as “cultivate a good Google-rank.”

This article was intriguing in that it featured neither; many of the skills it lists I would nearly label as traits:

1. Public Speaking
2. Writing
3. Self-Management
4. Networking
5. Critical Thinking
6. Decision-Making
7. Math
8. Research
9. Relaxation
10. Basic Accounting

At first glance at this list I thought, Wow, I must be pretty damn successful, because I am awesome at all of these things! However, upon further reading and reflection I realized that I’m not equally awesome across the board, and my various lacks of success in life can be easily attributed to my weaker points on the list.

I graded myself on each attribute on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 representing the pinnacle of that trait in anyone I’ve ever met, with the 3-5 area representing the skillset of the average, unskilled populace.

1. Public Speaking – 8
2. Writing – 9
3. Self-Management – 7
4. Networking – 6
5. Critical Thinking – 8
6. Decision-Making – 5
7. Math (capacity-for, not knowledge-of) – 7
8. Research – 6
9. Relaxation – 3
10. Basic Accounting – 8

I wound up with a grand total of 67% – barely passing at success.

Of course, not every one of those traits has to do with every endeavor in my life, and I’m successful in a lot of areas.

My job, for example, is mostly reliant on 3-5-6-8, in which I score 26/40 – decidedly above the 12-20 average range. Being a singer-songwriter relies on a straight 1-2-3-4 dash, where I notch a weighty 30/40.

Still, it’s easy to see how each trait impacts the rest, and how a deficit in one is the detriment of others. I know for certain that my lack of Relaxation hamstrings my slightly above-average Self-Management, which means I churn out less of my quality Writing. And, my relatively meager Decision-Making and Research abilities can frequently hamper my most significant Critical Thinking.

It is possible to increase your ability in one area without losing ground in another? If our lives were D&D, would this system be more like rolling a character, or using a points-based allocation system? Will my Relaxation increase naturally with age?

Does anyone score much higher than 2/3? Are the Bill Gates and Richard Bransons of the world successful because they are higher than 80% on this scale?

How would you rate yourself?

July 23, 2008 by krisis

A few nights ago we were walking home after a sushi dinner, talking about all the shopping Elise and her brother did earlier in the day.

During the conversation he mentioned finding a particularly awesome pair of jeans in his exact size, and I caught myself subconsciously filing his size away for later use in case I ever see a similar pair in my travels.

And then I thought, OH MY GOD I HAVE BECOME MY MOTHER.

https://www.crushingkrisis.com/2008/07/3351/

Humbling Critique v. Humble Critic

July 20, 2008 by krisis

It seems that my attendance of concerts varies inversely with my enjoyment, and as I become more ubiquitous at local open mics and active in the local music scene I am increasingly unable to enjoy the music of anyone else unless they are completely flawless.

(Recently, Ani DiFranco, but locally Alexandra Day.)

Other than those bastions of perfection, everything is open to critique – whether I’m trying to be critical or not.

Last month I saw an indie musician who could not get his physical and vocal tics under control long enough to simply sing one of his strong songs. A few weeks ago we saw Regina Spektor open for Ani DiFranco, and I criticized her enunciation and her poor setlist compilation abilities.

Last week at an open mic I rolled my eyes at a hapless guy who played three songs all in the same position. Last night we saw a local band, and I didn’t think anything was in the right key for the singer, and their bassist was useless.

I was a critic to begin with, but now that I’ve been playing more actively I’m all-too-cognizant of all the ways a performer can go wrong, and as soon as I spot one I can’t help but be cruelly unforgiving of its performer.

Critiquing Regina is one thing – she’s a major label hit that ought to know how to open for an audience of strangers by now. It’s the other examples that are more dangerous. If I can’t appreciate and complement other independent and local performers then I am always going to be that asshole with the ego, and people will judge me even harsher for it.

I know I’m not perfect – I’m brutally cognizant of my many flaws as a performer, and they’re the primary reason I don’t perform or record more often. I suppose I just expect every artist that have the same ruthless urge to self-censor until improvements can be made. And, when I do it on their behalf it makes it hard to make connections or friends, and you need both to get noticed as a local musician.

If I was Regina I would have started with one of my crunchy pop hits and followed it with something alliterate and obscure to catch the less mainstream Ani fans. But, maybe that’s not how she’s gotten this far, so who am I to correct her?

But, if I was an indie on my first tour, grasping for new audience members, I’d play in the mirror more often. If I was that hapless guy I would have found a different position to play my song in, or played something in a different key for my middle song. And, if I was the lead singer last night I would have taken voice lessons, tuned down a few of my songs, and backed off the mic.

I have shared all of those flaws, and because I am me I have enacted each of those solutions – because I am ruthlessly eliminating anything anyone could dislike about me until the until reason left to dislike me is me myself.

But, I can’t afford to be so ruthless towards everybody else, or I’ll never have any one receptive in an audience to appreciate all my betterment, and to spread the words to their friends.

Or, via the Larry Sanders Show:

What have we learned here? When you’re vulnerable and humble, people like you. When you act like an asshole, people tend to think of you as an asshole.

Pink Envelopes, Cheerful Weeks, Dark Knights

July 19, 2008 by krisis

I’ve been really dodging my blogging lately. Which, per usual, is indicative of life being actually full-to-the-brim of interestingness that I am simply not diligent enough to record.

Some vignettes:

I received a pink envelope in the mail yesterday, with no return address. Definitely raised some fiancee eyebrows until I opened it and realized it was from the bridal boutique where I just bought the dresses for my groomsladies.

Note to boutique: when dealing with the groom, do not send receipts to him in unmarked pink envelopes. It does not bode well for the eventual wedding.

For the last two weeks we have been slightly less yuppy / slightly more domestic with the addition to our household of Elise’s brother.

Despite my compilation of an exhaustive list of cool things to see and do in Philly, we haven’t done all that much of interest. Yet, I’ve been having a cheerful, excellent time – not just in hanging out with him but in life in general … waking up early, going to bed satisfied with my day.

I half attribute it to having a sibling around to take an interest in, and half to the novelty of having someone who I totally relate to that is not a girl.

(His best quote so far, I think, was “Dave & Busters? That’s like Chucky Cheese with beer, right?)

The downside, if there is one, is that my scant project-oriented time is bisected further than it usually is just with Elise-hanging, which has left less attention for blogging, songwriting, piano-playing, et cetera.

That, and that I finally am starting to understand what it is to have a sibling relationship with someone younger than me (as to opposed to with Lindsay or Erika), and I’m going to be really sad when he’s done with Philly for the summer, because this is definitely a one-time-only thing – next summer he’ll be looking at colleges and then he’ll be out in the world on his own and we won’t be the fun vacation from real life anymore, because real life will finally be interesting.

So, maybe I’ve learned to be a little more sympathetic towards my mother from the experience?

Last night I saw the Dark Knight with a ridiculous majority of my favorite people, the majority of whom are voracious movie consumers and critics. We left the theatre in dumbstruck silence. I’m hard-pressed to name another movie that literally left me speechless until I exited the theatre complex … maybe Seven?

I did a lot of tearing up along the way, mostly at Heath’s unbidden perfection, but really just because it was an amazing ensemble piece and sometimes great acting clicking together like a well-made watch makes me emotional.