Does everyone remember my essay? You know, the painfully embarrassing one that i seem to find entirely more hilarious than i should find it? Well, my Journalism instructor just emailed me some copious commentary on it, which was headed off with the following glowing review:

Assuming you’re not gay (not that there’s anything wrong with that!), I’m left with the feeling that your approach to romance is more like sabotage than flirtation. Like Lenny in Of Mice and Men, you crush rather than stroke. Unlike Lenny, you know exactly what you’re doing. My advice: STOP doing that. I heard a great line from a forgettable movie once. The Matthew Modine character turns to his mouthy cohort and says, “Never miss a good opportunity to shut up.” Those awkward silences you mentioned may have existed more in your mind than the moment. Either way, you’ve acknowledged your inability to trust silence.


I’ll bill you later for the romantic counselling.

Wow, apparently i did manage to summarize my entire romantic existence in 1200 words, and he just thinks i was trying to be witty. I mean… “crush” rather than stroke? Little does he know…