Technology conspiring against me to drown the thoughts i had been hoping to hang on to as another week of my life flashes by and fades away. What would i have told you anyway? I went to Ikea, i killed some spiders, our DSL inexplicably stopped working, we saw Justin play, we spent a day playing Mario Kart 64 and drinking Coronas. What else is there?
I find it sort of ironic that as i obtain more and more of a real life, this page becomes less and less relevant. I would’ve never imagined that it would be an inverse relationship – I suppose i just have less time to sit around with my thumbs up my ass contemplating shit and then typing it all out
Everybody says they’ll quit their weblogs. They get mad, they get bored, they get complacent, and they say they’re going to end it all. Fewer bloggers actually manage to pull the plug, but it’s been known to happen. I’ve been that person enough times that it isn’t worth trolling through the archives to find examples… mad at technology, bored with what i was saying, so complacent about the page that i didn’t care about it at all.
I’m a different person now than i was a few months ago, both for better and for worse. I am happy, but for my happiness i have forsaken the childish dreams that would lift my spirits on a dreary day. I am stable, but i have lost the ability to voice my irrationality. I am content, and so i have lost the will to tell you about anything that could make me happier. Because, this has never been about what makes me happy, or even really about how my day went. It’s about Crushing. Crushing. What has me under its thumb. What got under my skin. What i want to be pressed up against.
Dotster sent me my domain re-registration email this weekend; CK needs to be renewed next month. And, honestly, i’m having doubts about investing another $20.
Sorry; i hate this self-indulgent bullshit … it needed to be said.