E is in a tizzy because the floor next to our bed is mysteriously wet, which is concerning not just from the wetness angle but because that bit of our bedroom is suspended in air over our backyard, and that’s not the kind of structural element you want to be soggy.

This state of affairs is solid proof that I am not even remotely prepared to be a homeowner, as my immediate reaction to her asking me to help move our bed to another room was, “Um, but then I’ll have to sleep on the bedroom floor.”

Despite my penchant for dozing off in brightly lit rooms with loud music playing, as a result of years of teenaged insomnia I have a sort of fetish for a bedroom that can be rendered pitch black and dead silent without a sleep mask and ear plugs, and our current bedroom is exactly that. Its position in the back of the house means no street-noise, and limited downstairs noise, and it barely shares any walls with neighbors. That means the only sound to be heard is the tweet tweet tweeting of birds in the morning, which I’d rather have in my bedroom than in my office/studio.

In any event, while I whined about all of that E phoned the landlord like a responsible renter, so hopefully a fix will be in place before the bedroom collapses into the backyard, as I would probably also wind up in the backyard, since the only other place I’d be willing to sleep is probably the basement.