I think I may have acquired a gnome.
It’s my keys, mostly. They keep disappearing. I’m not too haphazard with them – at least, not in comparison to my other worldly possessions. They go into the same basket every day or, failing that, in to the zip of my jacket.
Except, not this week. This week I have been locked out three times.
That is not my only evidence of a gnome. Guitar picks, all of my .73mm Dunlops are gone. White socks with gray heels, now uncommon. Five dollar bills, suddenly elusive. Bandannas, colors I haven’t worn appearing in the laundry.
Underpants still intact, for the moment, but who knows?
Or – or it could be that I’ve been playing at least twice a week and setting up a digital recording studio in my living room, except for last week when I gave myself a case of hives apparently just on the strength of my personal stress.
I like the gnome explanation better. I am wary of while he might snatch next. Perhaps collecting my various USB modems and flash drives? That would be dastardly.
It’s hard, living day to day without keys, proper guitar picks, heavy socks, money in iterations of $5, and my more attractive bandanas. I’m working on it.
It could be a leprechaun. My of-Irish-descent grandfather told me that they lived in the woods of montgo county and they were actually dastardly little goblins that caused much trouble. They weren’t the cute little creatures at the end of rainbows. My grandfather said that if leprechauns had any gold at all, they most likely stole it! So, I’d check to make sure you don’t have one of those, because that would be a royal pain in the arse. Apparently they are very hard to evict…