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ocd

June 27, 2001 by krisis

Because i am indecisive, and because i enjoy making work for myself, i have a huge database set up with all of the songs from the link at the top of this page and a tidy numerical ranking system which will average out my song-liking whims over the course of the next week to give me an idea of what deserves to be recorded. It weighs my somewhat objective view of each song’s merits against my subjective want to play them, and today these are the top ten results it produced: Up + Down, Over You, Give, Icy Cold, Unstrung, All That’s True, Splinter, Necessary Evil, Nothing To Say, Atlas Girl. That might not mean anything to you, so let me give you some background information:

Up + Down, Over You, Unstrung, Necessary Evil, and Splinter are the majority of my newest songs, and so i am overwhelmingly in love with them i and i want to record them while they’re fresh. I was having a very dry spell that was months long up until Splinter popped out of my mouth without any warning, and since then i have been actively writing and rewriting what amounts to an album of all-new material. Give is a song from my Freshman Year Demo (Other Plans) that i probably should have rerecorded for Relief this Spring. Icy Cold and Nothing To Say were the two alternate songs for Relief that i never recorded in the studio despite liking them very much. Atlas Girl is a song i wrote and played twice nearly two years ago, and then totally forgot about. When i began conceptualizing this event i found it in the back of my old poetry book and recalled its chords in less than a minute; now i am quite smitten with it. So, as of today those would be 10 songs sure to be heard during this little event, but they might not make it through the decision process, and then recording, and then mastering, and then posting. More peeks at potential songs in the weeks to come. But, for now, g’nite!

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/06/4261869/

Filed Under: blogathon, ocd, songwriting

June 19, 2001 by krisis

Dear Blogger,

You win. I quit.

This has all been a very wonderful experience but right now it just makes me miserable to see my posting window because i know i’ve lost all of my past to you and your stupid machines. Yes, i still have it, and i backed it up, but i hate this feeling of impermance. I am frustrated.


This is an inopportune time for me to stop, since i have more people paying attention to me than ever have before, but i refuse to attach misery to writing … it defeats the entire purpose for me. I am a perfectionist. I re-edit posts from December for one-letter spelling errors. Of course, i can’t do that now because i can’t publish to my December archive, or any other one for that matter. But, that is only part of the problem.

Maybe i will come back tomorrow. I hope i will come back tomorrow. In the meantime, have fun with your thousands of new users every month and your totally free blogspot. I suppose i’m just realizing that nothing free is ever worth the price; or maybe it’s worth exactly the price i’m paying. Either way, my offer stands: i’d love to purchase a pro account at any point when you offer one.

I apologize to my readers for all of this drama; sometimes life and the physical act of posting just eclipses what i have to say. I still love writing for you, and i am not quitting that – i just need a new venue. In the meantime, you can find me at Repulsed and CorLog. However, the latter is posted with Blogger, so don’t get too attached :)


all my love,

-peter


(ps: if you want to help in some way, please go here and read.)

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/06/4139450/

Filed Under: Blogger, ocd

April 26, 2001 by krisis

I wrote a letter today, and sent it. I can’t remember the last time i did that. I sortof feel like every time i go somewhere other than here to write that i’m failing in my attempt to broadcast my life 24/7 to the boundless ends of cyberspace, and that one day i’ll want to look back at something and it won’t be here. But, i can’t always manage to have all the people i want to talk to read this page, and sometimes they aren’t even on the internet. And, sometimes it’s better to just have a memory rather than a written transcript, memories are much more flexible. So, i wrote a letter. I’d type it in just so you’d have something to read, but it’s really not about anything except being friends. I think we’ll just leave that one in the envelope where it belongs.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/04/3379505/

Filed Under: bloggish, memories, ocd, Year 01 Tagged With: laurel

March 29, 2001 by krisis

Blagh. Somehow i got sucked into filing. See, my job is to generally fill in as Admissions Counciler whenever the actual councilers need assistance, and so far i’ve really done everything other than accept/deny incoming students. But, today half of the filing wall was pulled down as we sent out acceptance/denial letters, and now they’ve all got to get filed back up. So, polite and accomadating person that i am, i offered to file.

When i was little i used to dump out my box of G.I. Joe filecards on the floor and realphabetize them just for fun. But, it isn’t the same when the files are big and heavy and have dozens of razor-like little papers inside of them (as opposed to the blunt-cut edges of the cardboard cards on my floor). And, to top it off, the filing staff doesn’t seem to like me that much – barely mustering up enough enough niceness for me one i was actually helping them out.

Blagh. Anyhow, i just exercised my power to make important decisions, and decided i’m way too busy to file. No more filing for me.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/03/2988192/

Filed Under: admissions, ocd

March 26, 2001 by krisis

I had just written a huge post about how i hate to use public restrooms, but it was actually quite weird and i had no idea that the Escape button wiped out the blogger posting box. Wow… blogger is really riddled with ways to lose a post, isn’t it? God knows i seem to have found most of them…

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/03/2947388/

Filed Under: Blogger, ocd

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