I am searching for inspiration.

Monday nights in Peter-land are nap nights, because i always stay up way too late on Sunday nights (in this case, harrassing Ernie and posing naked for my only appearance on Bertie‘s SurvivorCam). So, last night i had my standard 16-hour sleep-a-thon during which i got nothing done other than sleeping. And then came today. And then comes tomorrow.

This summer definitely has a very sweeping quality where it just pushes me along and i don’t entirely realize that time is passing. The Madonna concert is in 19 days and i’m not even close to freaking out. The new Garbage album comes out next month. I have to register for classes. I’ll be 20 soon. I’m afraid that somehow i’ll fall asleep tonight and wake up tomorrow to everything in my life happening all at once like a thousand cannons all firing across the span of a field that i’m standing in the middle of. Or maybe that was today.


But, as i mentioned, i am searching for inspiration; not any specific kind of inspiration, mind you, but a more general sort of inspiration that can motivate me to do any one of a great number of things that i should probably be doing. The thing about inspiration is that it has to offer you something that the present does not, or otherwise you’d be content rather than inspired, and i think that’s nearly what i am right now (which is not to imply that i’m happy… i suppose i meant “complacent” more than i meant “content,” but complacent makes me think of lazy slothful people and i actually paid bills and rode a bike this week so i’m surely not either of those).

(I’m glad i cleared that little confusion up; imagine… me, content? That would sorta defeat the entire purpose of this, wouldn’t it?)