Some things about my office.

I cannot bring myself to trust fat, bearded woman. I don’t know what it is; they’re shifty. They’re always changing their answers, backtracking, being contrary just to avoid a solution. I’ve very carefully studied my reactions to these potential carnies, and I can safely say that their weight or facial hair alone does not change my evaluation of their behavior. All of those chubby, hairy parts combine to create a greater, harder to like, whole. Every one I have ever met has been the same: belligerent, defensive, and stubbly.

When I arrived at the muffin basket today, there were blue-dotted pastries as for as the eye could see. All blueberry. I have eaten two blueberry muffins so far, and I may go back for a third before they put out the lunch spread.

My fellow intern and I have been chosen to present about our internship experience in front of the president of our rather large organization, who seems to be a figure of nearly mythic proportions if my co-workers are to be trusted. The two of us beat out over twenty other interns for this distinction; I thought my boss was going to cry when I told her we were selected.

The funny thing is, ever since my introduction to the “Season of Achievement” program I have been consciously eschewing all contact with it. It’s an intern ghetto, coddling where it should be inspiring, with HR people pulling us away from our actual work in shockingly long four hour blocks in order to act as a motley crew of corporate orientation leaders to our group of exceedingly inquisitive, capable (and increasingly jaded) college students.

Either the force of my personality shone through so brightly at the only workshop I ever attended that they have been craving more ever since, or my fellow intern has been impressing the hell out of them every week while I’ve been deliberately scheduling meetings with Medical Directors to make sure I never have to show up.

In other news, two weeks ago i drank a really large latte and became convinced that if I deferred senior year in favor of taking a bus up to Buffalo to camp out on Righteous Babe Record’s front step that they would eventually be forced to give me a job, but then i realized that OH MY GOD, I really want to get college over and done with.