I am not ready to be a parent.
I’m sure every expectant parent thinks that sometime during the pregnancy process, but I have real empirical evidence.
Like, I didn’t know scooping ice out of our ice cream maker with a spoon was going to scratch it up. So, I scratched it ALL up. E was like, “How could you not only do that once, but keep doing it for five minutes?”
I don’t know. For all of the smart stuff I know about words and music and human behavior, I don’t really know anything about the common sense of making things and maintaining them. Like, I can’t hang a picture on the wall. I don’t know how to keep most plants alive. I’m still confused about how to clean our butcherblock counter tops.
I have gaps in my common sense in those areas. How the heck am I supposed to teach a very tiny person about any of them? All they’re going to know about from me is David Bowie. That’s it.
Note: This post was embargoed until we reached 20 weeks; it was made public on 3/20/2013.