I shouldn’t blog from this evil house. All of it comes out all wrong.
by krisis
Everyone in my entire family commented on all of the weight i’ve gained and how good i look now. In a way it’s nice, because none of them ever compliment me on anything so i know i must look healthier, but since i’m not entirely comfortable with my new 20 pounds i’m not exactly thrilled that it was a big subject over Christmas Eve dinner. I think my issue is that i’m filling out well enough, but i’m not really shaping any of the weight, so if i gain any more i might look a little pudgy, which of course would make me very upset. My whole body-image is a very fragile thing, and i know i sound like a teenaged girl, but i’ve always been very thin and this is taking some getting used to. Not to mention that i definitely have a big wheezy fat gene on my father’s side of the family. I should obviously give up meat again… and god help me if i ever start drinking beer… (well, god help us all…)
I really wanted a tattoo of a cloud for a while there, on my hip. Tattoos are so strange to me… permanent birthmarks which are really more like bookmarks to a certain time in your life… so you get to choose but you’ve got to choose carefully. i don’t think i’d really ever get one, though. And, white doesn’t show up well, so clouds are out of the question anyhow.
Um, so…. yeah… ignore all that rambling from last night. One week it’s children, the next week i want a tattoo. The instability is frightening…
Philosophy of life encapsulated in Christmas clean-up:
Mom: Oh, would you wrap up all that food we left on the table and put it in the refrigerator?
Twenty minutes later, i had eaten it all…