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Year 01

759992

September 3, 2000 by krisis

Sometimes i think of the title for a song and just need to write “that” song. Writing towards a title is harder than writing from a line or a chord progression, because you have nothing and still need to go in a certain direction. For a long time i wanted to write a song called “As If,” because i felt like it was a great title. When i finally managed to cobble together something that ended its choruses in those words i wasn’t impressed: the song just didn’t live up to the name i had imagined for it.

Earlier this summer i got sunburnt very badly on the bottoms of my arms, and it annoyed me to death. While spending several uncomfortable days waiting for my skin to heal, i thought that i might like to write a song called “Burn.” I never did anything about it, but i suppose the word was floating somewhere in the back of my mind ready to be included in any son in progress.

Last night i wrote “Burn.” The lines started coming to me and i opened up blogger and started to write, figuring it was more trustworthy then my email program, and that it would be on the page today for me to practice. I finished it in under five minutes; it just flowed out like water through a dam. I pressed “post & publish.”

And i’ll never see those words again. Sure, i managed to reconstruct the bare bones of what i was writing, but several turns of phrase were lost forever to the infinite wasteland of the internet. I went through my cache, checking every file written to in the 20 minutes surrounding the disaster, but found nothing.

Impermanence frightens me. Maybe i need to become a more deliberate and organized person, but there’s always that chance that disaster will strike as you hit the save button. And every time it does i lose a piece of my life’s story. Hopefully this one’ll go through.

Filed Under: songwriting, uncategorized, Year 01

758650

September 3, 2000 by krisis

Once, in 1st grade, we were assigned to do our writing homework on that wide-lined loose-leaf paper that children use. In my class there was a quiet and studious girl who may have been named Clarissa. She had the straightest brown hair i’ve ever seen. On that day she turned in her writing assignment and the teacher smiled. Clarissa had unexpectedly run out of loose-leaf the night before and so she erased her entire last assignment and used the paper over again for her homework. She always wrote lightly, so erasing a wasn’t a hard thing to do.

There’s a lesson in there somewhere.

Filed Under: memories, uncategorized, Year 01

752846

September 2, 2000 by krisis

I have a lot of condoms. I couldn’t explain the how and why of it really, but i do. I never buy them or go out deliberately hunting for them, but i’ve got nearly a dozen of them in my room anyhow. It’s actually sortof like a mutant power. You know, healing factor, weather control, and the all important latex magnetism.

I don’t collect them in an sort of deliberate way, and even once i have them they are basically just strewn randomly around my room. It’s not as though i’m seeing a lot of traffic through there, if you know what i mean.

Well, this “strewning,” if you will, turns out to be the most disadvantageous way to store the things. Especially when you’re trying to find them all and put them in the bottom of an innocent box full of tylenol and allergy medication. Especially when your delerious mother is coming to help you move, and she picks up things first and asks questions later (read that as: “No, mom… don’t pick up the monitor” “Shut up, we have to finish so i can go down the shore”).

Filed Under: uncategorized, Year 01

743997

August 31, 2000 by krisis

So, at work today i came to the realization that weblogging itself is an entirely passive aggressive exercise. Think about it: you write down everything that bugs you on any given day, and post it on a site. You then attempt to publicize the site, and ask your friends to head to your site, but you know from past webpage experiences that they never will. So, you’re basically left sharing all of your petty annoyances with whomever wanders in off the proverbial street, thusly getting nothing accomplished at all in the way of human interaction (but constantly feigning “concern” that someone you are blatantly gossiping about to the entire internet world might stop by your site for a quick spin one day). And the worst part is, we all seem to enjoy every passive aggressive second of it.

Just a thought.

Filed Under: uncategorized, Year 01

738786

August 30, 2000 by krisis

Having friends is nice. I take people for granted a bit too often, being quite the introvert despite appearances otherwise. I value friends who always smile when they see me more than anything else in the world. I wish they all realized that.

Filed Under: introversion, thoughts, Year 01

August 26, 2000 by krisis

my hair : my website’s layout :: my handwriting : my singing

i’ll elaborate on that later

https://crushingkrisis.com/2000/08/712601/

Filed Under: thoughts, Year 01

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