since i keep talking about it, this is an ultra ultra draft version: i can feel the heat on the back of my neck like the fires you lit you little arsonist you can’t help it and i know you burn just for show but i’m held back by your heat you know i won’t come any closer/ i watched you kindle i’ll watch you burn i watched you kindle now i’ll watch you burn down/ i see you light it up again and i smile as you keep burning within i know that you’ll torch every bridge i’ve seen the smoke rise up over the ridge and i can tell your hot for me i see see the pyres in your eyes wouldn’t you love to turn my tempature up to the boiling point of desire/ i watched you kindle i’ll watch you burn i watched you kindle now i’ll watch you burn down/ i’ll watch you wade out through the ash your hands dirty from what you brought crashing down up to your neck in the soot of the past it isn’t such a blast once you put it out/ i watched you kindle i’ll watch you burn i watched you kindle now i’ll watch you burn down/ i smell gasoline i smell kerosene i know you burn i can feel your heat i can feel your heat// . audio will be up later today, even if it’s just a snippet. still working out the octave range.
meta
In the “i dream about my life” category: just before i woke up today i dreamt that i was writing a new post. It was about some frank sexual topic that wasn’t the least bit risqué, but i had to use some sexual terms to get my point across. While nearing the end of writing the post it occured to me that if i used the terms frequently enough i might be able to increase my hit-count, since people would think my site was dirty. I was very satisfied when i clicked the post button.
But i wouldn’t ever dream of doing that, would i?
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I think i would do very naughty things if i had a webcam. Sure, my life seems rather dull so far on here, but give me a potential audience and i would turn into a porn star in seconds. Really. I’d have to charge an entry fee. It’d be dead sexy.
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Sometimes i think of the title for a song and just need to write “that” song. Writing towards a title is harder than writing from a line or a chord progression, because you have nothing and still need to go in a certain direction. For a long time i wanted to write a song called “As If,” because i felt like it was a great title. When i finally managed to cobble together something that ended its choruses in those words i wasn’t impressed: the song just didn’t live up to the name i had imagined for it.
Earlier this summer i got sunburnt very badly on the bottoms of my arms, and it annoyed me to death. While spending several uncomfortable days waiting for my skin to heal, i thought that i might like to write a song called “Burn.” I never did anything about it, but i suppose the word was floating somewhere in the back of my mind ready to be included in any son in progress.
Last night i wrote “Burn.” The lines started coming to me and i opened up blogger and started to write, figuring it was more trustworthy then my email program, and that it would be on the page today for me to practice. I finished it in under five minutes; it just flowed out like water through a dam. I pressed “post & publish.”
And i’ll never see those words again. Sure, i managed to reconstruct the bare bones of what i was writing, but several turns of phrase were lost forever to the infinite wasteland of the internet. I went through my cache, checking every file written to in the 20 minutes surrounding the disaster, but found nothing.
Impermanence frightens me. Maybe i need to become a more deliberate and organized person, but there’s always that chance that disaster will strike as you hit the save button. And every time it does i lose a piece of my life’s story. Hopefully this one’ll go through.
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i will not put a counter on this page, i will not put a counter on this page, i will not put a counter on this page, i will not put a counter on this page, i will not put a counter on this page, i will not put a counter on this page…
In a disturbing turn of events, in my own special way i conform to points #1, 2, 4-7, 9, 12, & 13 on the previously referenced list
of things i am expected to do while evolving as a blogger. [please take a moment to admire the dead simple but very fun background color change app] And i am adamantly resisting #11, which is “Discovers crack cocaine– er, Sitemeter.” I am already obsessed with reading and analyzing the day to day stats of Shafted, and as much as my narcissistic ass hits this page a counter would not be in any way beneficial. But, i might change my mind tomorrow.
Blogger is obviously a gateway drug. And didn’t i recently say something about stopping to question your own evolution? Obviously delirium is taking over…