Crushing Krisis

Comic Books, Drag Race, & Life in New Zealand

off-topics

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I’m a forgetful boy; sometimes even the most daily and normal things i do get forgotten once or twice a week. Last week i inadvertently left my wash in the laundry room for five days, and the week before i forgot to balance my checkbook, and this week i forgot twice to take my allergy medication. I wasn’t totally crippled because i have a certain amount of medication floating around in my system already, but missing a day tends to impact the next day negatively so having forgotten to take a pill yesterday today i wasn’t in good shape. I felt unfocused, and my face felt numb, and i was physically on the verge of tears the whole morning so much that people kept asking me if anything “was wrong”. And i swear tear ducts must be connected to your brain somehow to make you sad, cause i was in this awful mood to go along with my teary face. For an hour or two i was sure that i was on the verge of some total emotional breakdown, though honestly now i can’t imagine what those problems i conjured up might have been. But, it finally went away at some point when i stopped paying attention to it, and now i’m back to my normal miserable self. What joy.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/05/3496748/

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Five hours. I just ran into Gina, so … she’s here. I also dropped off my rapidly fuzzing liner notes to be copied on stock paper – had i planned this out properly i would have had the liner done digitally for today, however when it comes down to digital liner notes or underwear to wear for your show the right choice is (usually) doing laundry. Also, Gina and I were just totally improbably asked to record songs for a play opening in D.C. in July that will be playing at the Philly Fringe Festival, which means we might get to perform live there. This is ultra-tentative, but if i pursue it i think it’ll work out. See how easy it is to network when you’re not just some random kid recording dumb little concerts for your website ;-)

Meanwhile, somehow i leaked the liner notes before the demo release (i know how: i am a dumbass), so people are starting to catch wind of the thanx they received. I’m probably going to change the inside liner notes for each “pressing” of the disc so i can keep straight which ones got made when, so hopefully there’ll be some continuing surprises. But, now i have to sit at my desk and stew for another hour while my copies are being done. What fun.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/05/3480901/

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Um, hi. Nice to meet you. We might have met before… i used to write stuff on here every so often. But, lately i’ve been out and about. You know… concerts, rehearsals, theatre … all that arty junk that college students do because they aren’t doing nearly enough work. I went a whole weekend without even thinking about checking my email; could you imagine? Obviously the computer has become so much a part of my daily work-life that i dread and avoid it when i get home. By contrast, with my decided lack of music curricula this term has made my guitar the most exciting thing on earth. Really. My fingers hurt just thinking about it. I even did a Trio yesterday, but it really sucked, so i’m gonna try again. And other stuff too. Back to work.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/04/3435944/

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I wrote a letter today, and sent it. I can’t remember the last time i did that. I sortof feel like every time i go somewhere other than here to write that i’m failing in my attempt to broadcast my life 24/7 to the boundless ends of cyberspace, and that one day i’ll want to look back at something and it won’t be here. But, i can’t always manage to have all the people i want to talk to read this page, and sometimes they aren’t even on the internet. And, sometimes it’s better to just have a memory rather than a written transcript, memories are much more flexible. So, i wrote a letter. I’d type it in just so you’d have something to read, but it’s really not about anything except being friends. I think we’ll just leave that one in the envelope where it belongs.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/04/3379505/

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Wow, so, okay, you know how i mention from time to time how i need to be more of a bitch? It’s sorta a running theme with me that i love to please everyone; this tends to be evidenced by the fact that no one ever seems to have a serious dislike of me despite me having a stubbornly assertive personality. This recently became a major problem at work because i was overbooking myself for visiting students because i refused to turn away anyone who had a nice phone manner. That ended pretty quickly, after i almost didn’t have a host for a few students. So… now that tiny ability to say ‘no’ is starting to balloon outward slowly in my gut, as if every time someone tries to walk on me i’m breathing hard to inflate it. Is it possible that any of you have been around long enough to remember Viktor? Well… the other day he walked by me and said hello and i told him quite succinctly to “fuck off.” Apparently now he mildy fears me, though he can’t understand what my problem is with him.

The thing is, i shouldn’t have to make him understand. As a human being i have the right to randomly dislike people without giving a single reason. Furthermore, i should be allowed to like it. And,… wow… i do. There’s some tiny little urge inside me to justify my reasons for not liking someone, but it’s getting pushed aside by that balloon as it swells bigger and bigger. Of course, the truly professional thing to do is to have a “bitch” inside you and to harness her and use her when people try to pull a fast on on you, but i figure before i get fine control over her i’ll have to lash out a few times ;)

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/04/3294968/