off-topics

Today’s categories: burning things other than bridges; building a fire in the snow; omnivores are people too; solitary confinement; and x-ray technology. I’ll talk about at least two of them, i promise.

If i keep talking about how much i love movies that i’ve seen i don’t know how long my ‘i hate movies’ stance is going to fly, so i’ll keep this brief. Dogma was pure gold. Jay and Silent Bob were too gimmicky, but you don’t have to be a seminary student to appreciate the humor (bonus points if you knew the Metatron wasn’t some sort of wurlizer). Alanis Morissette was so perfect i can’t even describe; her alternating looks of age and tolerance and playfullness and joy were perfection. Dogma got a little too full of itself from time to time, but even Affleck and Damon managed to pretend like they could act past the buddy syndrome. Lots of fun.

In proof that good things happen to good people, atlantic records & co have issued a press release stating that tori amos has given birth to her first child, an unnamed and healthy girl. I am overjoyed for her and her husband Mark Hawley and inspired by the momentous event. I’m not sure that the divine master plan is perfection, but there are always reasons to have faith in something.

On the upside of all of this is that i am wearing yummy new dark blue jeans that fit me very well. I hate jeans that fall off of your ass, and i especially hate companies who include the “falling ass” effect in their inseam and waist measurements (ie: 31×31 actually being 36×38 to accomodate the ‘ass’ crowd). Also, i refuse to buy jeans in any gap-related outlet, because they suck. Also, tapered legs are for sissies. Furthermore, Unionbay doesn’t seem to make plain old jeans anymore, just rave-y clothes (what is that all about, anyhow). So, i ventured into :gasp: the non-UB section and emerged with two nicely fit pairs of jeans.

Oohhhh, but wait until i get around to telling you about the unionbay stuff i bought…

Walmart (or, for that matter, any store with a name ending in ‘mart) is one of my least favourite places on earth. Sure, you can buy plenty of things plenty cheap there, but the average IQ of customers in the store has more to do with my shoe size than anything else.

Since i hate the place so much, we were obliged to spend an hour there. To Walmart’s credit i found such wonderful things as cheap dishes, more giant tupperware bins (i think i’m developing a fetish), and a towel hook for the door. I was typically miserable the whole time we spent there, except for while walking out to the car. I plan to be miserable until Saturday, when i move into the apartment for real. Sadly, there will be no way for you to bask in the satisfied glow i’ll be giving off until next friday when my phone service gets turned on, at which point i’m quite sure i’ll be miserable again. After all, it doesn’t take much.