Crushing Krisis

Comic Books, Drag Race, & Life in New Zealand

Personal

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I haven’t seen anyone from highschool in ages and ages. I had a whole lot of friends in this year’s senior class from my various activities and extracurriculars (mostly because last year’s class was a bunch of idiots), and i haven’t seen any of them more than once or twice since i graduated. And then of course there are members of my own class, who i lost touch with as soon as graduation was over. I’ve just never been good at staying in touch with people when i can’t see them. I suppose i just have a hard time cultivating a relationship over the internet when i know full well i could be cultivating it in person (whereas with ‘net friends i’m fine with just chatting online). Or… or maybe i’m just a lazy and horrible person who is much too into personal time to pursue all of his old friends whether it only be to NJ or all the way out to CA. Either way, i need to ditch the habit.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2000/12/1643562/

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YAYAYAYAYAY! Torrez has emphatically promised to return his server to functionality tonight, and if he doesn’t keep his promise i’m gonna fly to California and club him over the head with his drum machine until he submits. Grawr!

https://crushingkrisis.com/2000/12/1643481/

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Version 2.0 is over. Again. Garbage apparently decided on a title for their new record, according to the studio diaries shirley keeps at their site. I can’t imagine what it could be… Version2.0 was at once a cop out and a perfect fit as an album title … better than Garbage II and totally true in the face of their revamped sound, but unwilling to single out any one song or emotion as the album’s center. The first album, of course, was garbage; it worked as well as the center of all of the songs as it did as the band’s name. Which is not to say that every album need a musical focal point to be its title, but listeners inevitably associate all of the songs on the recording to the title and visa versa, so the title is just as important as the track listing or the cover art. Aren’t most of your favourite albums fitting in all three of those respects?

https://crushingkrisis.com/2000/12/1634457/

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Which is not to say i’m not interested in anyone. I mean, what would life be without a crush or two to make it interesting? Whether anything will come from them… well, that’s the question i’ve been asking for years :)

https://crushingkrisis.com/2000/12/1634378/

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So, Matt ratted me out in regards to how entrancing i believe Rabi at WockerJabby to be, and through the magic of referral logs she {of course} read it. I just hope she doesn’t think i’m stalking her or anything; i just think she’s really neat.

What’s sorta interesting in the light of Matt’s accusation that i’m obsessed with Rabi is that i’m not obsessed with anyone. No one. And, as much as i whine and bitch and moan about being only obsessed with myself, i tend to fall for people. I fall hard. That’s why this is called crushing krisis … it just works on so many levels. But, not being obsessed is a healthy phenomenon. As much fun as it might be, and as conducive to songwriting as it might be, if i can’t give a girl space just within my crush on her, how could i ever realistically be romantically involved with her?

This whole lack of an obsessive center thing made it hard for me to title the new layout for AMkitchen. I joke constantly that whoever gets the majority of songs written about them on my next demo will get it named after them, but in a way it’s true; i gauge the emotional center of my current performance staples by who they’re about, and inevitably one songs becomes the center of all the others. For the majority of this year that song was “Under My Skin,” but lately i’m just not feeling it as much as i used to when i played it. So, looking at the spread of images from this past summer that are currently illustrating my website, i found myself at a loss for a name or a title song. I wound up naming the new layout ‘resolve,’ because above anything else my writing recently has been showing a sense of resolution. I feel resolved, and I have resolve. Resolve.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2000/12/1634316/