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college

October 17, 2001 by krisis

There’s a boy in Models and Theories of Communication whose class participation features an unusually high signal to noise ratio. It’s something i expect, to an extent; everyone is tempted to talk about themselves and how our latest theory applies to them and their father, girlfriend, or pet hamster. In this particular case, at first i was convinced that there was a point or intention — the source of this noise is extremely well read, multilingual, and studious. However, in class those well aimed shots of his hands up into the air always wind up with me taking a deep breath and shooting one up in return because he seems to be missing the point, or obviously hasn’t done the reading, or is being wholly irrelevant.


Tonight we were talking about Berger’s Theory of Uncertainty Reduction as it pertains to interpersonal relationships, the number two axiom of which has to do with affilial physical behaviour and how it relates to how certain you are about someone (how well you know/understand them). Suddenly in my peripheral vision up goes a hand to me left, and it’s all i can do not to brace with a deep breath and a sideways glance to Jeff. Then comes the noise… what about people who develop their relationships online? A valid circumstance, to be sure, and an interesting debate to be had, but nothing that we really need to touch upon in the span of our three hour lecture. To even ask the question seemed highly noisy… obviously online relationships subscribe to a different communicative paradigm, and to try to apply them to many of our theories would require massive restructuring whenever they mention tone or physicality. I personally think if you step away from being argumentative with the interpersonal theories that they apply well to many of the relationships i’ve formed since i began this page, but the noisy boy had his own agenda and he was pressing forward with it as i seethed next to Jeff.

“What about people that keep open online journals? What is the explanation of how they fit into this scheme?” Of course, i had my hand raised and a sentence ready to fire about how journaling is really not an intentionally reciprocal communicative act so much as it is a journalistic one unless we are explicitly examining the interactions of a journaler with a peer. Before any of that could could get fired off, it was time for mid-period break, and i hauled Jeff out into the hallway with me to kvetch.

I was just getting to railing about how irrelevant blogging was to Berger and how i certainly knew better about that than some random classmate might when Noisy walks up to our conversation. I am not shy, and so i quickly point out his signal to noise ratio, and when he plays dumb about it i brought up my peeve only to find that his noise might have been a little more direct than i had initially thought.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/10/6404199/

Filed Under: bloggish, college, comm

October 12, 2001 by krisis

Yesterday i was whining to the theatre peeps about my yet-to-be finished upstairs bathroom, which mostly owes it’s unfinished state to the fact that inside of the stall shower there is belly-button height bar along the three walls that isn’t entirely secured to the wall. It isn’t that i need some sort of safety catch in case i slip while reaching for soap or shampoo, but at any point where it isn’t firmly connected to the wall there is a gaping hold in the water-proofing and i’m afraid i’ll make the inside of my wall rot if i take a shower before it’s finished.

So, anyhow, i was lamenting that i want my shower fixed, not only so i can take quick morning showers, but because the handle-bar seems ideal for two-person maneuvering inside of a stall shower. This brought a hearty chuckle from the sexually frustrated theatre crowd, and then the conversation kept moving.

So, today the repair guy came by to see what was still left to be fixed in the house, and when i remarked to him about the broken shower bar he replied: “Well, you know what that’s from, don’t you?” [insert blank stare from yours truly] “Sex in the shower.”


I rest my case.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/10/6289386/

Filed Under: college, sex, stories Tagged With: 44th St

October 12, 2001 by krisis

Everything is slightly under control. Or, i keep telling myself that. Whether it’s true or not is not going to matter until Tuesday because i am escaping Philadelphia for the weekend. It’s quite insane, actually, but it’s just about the only insane thing i’ve tried to do since i got out of my own house, so i’m enjoying it. Meanwhile, my mother wants to know when i’m leaving. When i’m getting back. What my flight numbers are. The number the place where i’m staying. What train am i taking to the airport. My answer to her went something like: Hello, get the fuck out of my life.

Typically i can tell her to back off and she does – this is a typical dance for us. But, lately i’ve really let my guard slip and suddenly my mother is in my face every time we see each other. All i let slip is that i’m going though a slightly depressive few weeks (which i’ve been having on and off for years and have never been so stupid to say anything about it to her), and then she sees the tiniest pipe in the world sitting on our table and suddenly every question is to the Nth degree. And, so, here i am whining to you about it instead of doing my Creative Writing Homework.

I just… hate her in a lot of ways. Aside from how awfully retarded my social growth was, i am a perfectly capable 20 year old … i hold down a huge academic scholarship, i’ve had a regular job ever since i started school two years ago, and this is my second year living on my own in an apartment without really asking her for any help with money. And, what really gets me, is that she has no concept of any of this… if i tell her that i can’t see her on a Wednesday because i have so much work due for Thursday she just stares at me with these blank eyes asking “Well, this will only take an hour or two.” If i complain that books are too damned expensive this term she tries to slip me twenties all day, but is then amazed when i was under the impression that she was going to buy me a package of toilet paper at Walmart.

Same old shit. Going to college in Philadelphia was at once the best idea and the biggest mistake i ever made. I wish so hard that i had chosen Boston instead, and then i’d be far away from her grasp and she couldn’t help but believe i was capable because she wouldn’t be able to lay a hand on me. But, here she is always able to track me down and find the chinks in my armor, no matter how small.


Sure, that’s what mom’s are for. Excuse me for not appreciating it just this once.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/10/6288825/

Filed Under: college, Philly Tagged With: boston, mom

October 5, 2001 by krisis

Today in creative writing class i was hopelessly cornered by context. It was not a happy thing; everyone was wielding their contexts against my lonely pen.

Let me ask you: do you write Sedokas about chemical warfare? Or, perhaps haiku concerning god and if he has turned his back on us? Apparently my class does. Mine was just about stars, because i all i can do right lately is look up and look pleased. So, i hid in the corner. Me and my tiny poetry and just a little bit of hope that people are as good as i give them credit for.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/10/6136200/

Filed Under: 9/11, college, poetry Tagged With: Ani DiFranco

October 3, 2001 by krisis

If i seem a little out of touch, it’s because all of my free time has been taken up with reading multi-hundred page assignments for class and listening to the new Garbage album. And, man, if you think i got distracted when Tori’s disc came out you ain’t seen nothing yet. Also, i’ve apparently become a popular mecca for Ashleigh Banfield after praising her reporting in the WTC ordeal; i’ll have to find a nice head-shot to display on the sidebar or something; who knew that the random news reporter i was listening to happens to be one of the premier “news babes” of the ‘net? Go figure…

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/10/6081412/

Filed Under: 9/11, college, teevee Tagged With: Garbage, Tori Amos

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