Crushing Krisis

Comic Books, Drag Race, & Life in New Zealand

memories

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I always forget how paralyzingly dumb a crush can make me. It’s funny, because i never really had a chance to have a crush on Selina, so the last crush i had was on the same person as the one i have one on now. Only, this is much worse. Or better. Nevermind. Not to mention that she still reads the page, as does Selina. But, if she had never read the page, she might still think i was gay (which Selina didn’t really find out until i kissed her), so i have to say that in this instance i’m happy that she came upon the address (which i used to stupidly have for all to see in my IM profile). But, yeah, anyway, i need to get away from the computer, because it is my only venue of communication with her, and watching it does not make it boil. Or something. I’m pathetic, and i know it, so there’s no need to remind me.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/04/3134631/

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I’ve only ever danced four slow dances that i recall. When i was younger i didn’t ever really see the point of it … it just was an extended slow-motion hug that turned in circles upon circles to a song too slow to really dance to. Up through my Junior prom i never danced a slow dance, but, finally, at my Senior prom i was convinced to dance by my beautiful (platonic) date Ayelet. That one spin around the dance floor remained my one and only until this year’s formal at Drexel, where i danced another platonic dance with my favourite stage manager in the world, and one with Selina, who was my date. Even though that slow dance wasn’t really platonic at all, it still sorta falls into the “safe” category because we were supposed to dance … there was no risk involved and we obviously liked each other at the time.

Last night was the first time i ever asked someone to dance out of the blue, and she said yes. I stepped on her toes once or twice, she corrected my tendency to lead us in a continuous clockwise spin, and we wound up talking and laughing the whole time. Even though it was just one slow-motion spin within a whole night of dancing, to me it was a first. And there’s a first time for every thing.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/04/3115664/

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I slept on a floor other than my own last night; not because i was tired or drunk or anything like that, but because i already had people sleeping on my floor and didn’t really want to step over them to get to my bed. Anyhow, sleeping on the floors is always good for my back. All of this came at the end of a day full of PiNu convention festivities, one of which involved me dancing to the whole of “Rapper’s Delight,” a feat i’ve never managed before in my life. I suppose having the right partner makes all the difference…

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/04/3114106/

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Let me tell y’all a story. Boy meets girl. Boy thinks girl is adorable but doesn’t say a word, because he never says these things (in person). Girl reads boy’s website and then asks him if he wants to do something over break. Boy leaves the state, and doesn’t get to see girl at all when he returns (not realizing she lives a stone-throw from his own house). Boy falls madly in love with someone else, and stops thinking about girl as much as he had been. Girl goes on with her life and starts dating a really sweet guy. Boy falls madly out of love. Boy and girl meet again four months later, and they realize they missed their chance one or two too many times for their own good. They hold hands for a while and then say goodnight. The end.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/04/3114035/

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Sigh. Freaking cardboard paper-cut on my right index finger, which has got to be the most important finger i have when i’m not playing guitar. This day is a rainbow… streaks of happy, frazzled, miserable, excited all running through it as if my life just rained and this is what’s left over. I screamed and screamed at Matt because i have $5.64 in my checking account and he owes me nearly $500 in rent and bills. I almost felt like it was my fault when he pointed out that i don’t always bring the bills to his attention when i get them, but then i felt vindicated when i realized that he has to pay the rent every month and that i’ve been keeping a running tally of what he owes me on the coffee table for at least a whole month. I’ll get my big fat paycheck next Friday, so nothing should bounce, but if our balance isn’t $0 by then i’d rather just live in the apartment myself rather than paying for the both of us. Ugh.

This will be a long post. I sat on the same couch as Selina last night to play Encore (a singing game) with my fraternity. I finally got to hear her sing when she wasn’t concerned about me hearing her, and i fell in love with her voice. As beautiful as it is, i almost feel as though she was hiding it’s beauty underneath something all the times i ever heard her sing, and last night it was left uncovered as she quickly belted out lines from musicals and pop songs so that we could win the game. We spoke to each other, and even helped each other in the game. She’s still the most attractive person on earth, i still can’t go back to her because it wouldn’t work out, and i finally unblocked her on IM. Yep.

AIM just had the most spectacular crash i’ve ever seen, and i couldn’t get it to come back on for an hour. Finally, it loaded sans buddy list except for one person … Matt (because he’s sitting on his ass at his computer and so AIM came back up as soon at the network did). Thanx, aol. Anyway, i have to clean like mad tonight because i have fraternity people staying with me over the weekend. Blogs made this weekend should be … interesting. These are the same people from this post. Yep. Fun. Love y’all.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/04/3079179/