topics

houses, wombats, sinuses, clouds, etc

May 24, 2010 by krisis

The house process continues to rage across my life like a wombat on methamphetamine. While I had that under control, I also came down with a bit of a complete sinus disaster on Thursday, which left me feeling like I had a blanket wrapped around my head for the past four days.

Have you tried fighting an allegorical rabid marsupial on uppers with a blanket wrapped around your head? Slightly more challenging than your typical allegorical wombat-fighting.

An angry wombat.

(PS: On wombats, Wikipedia says the following:

Wombats are Australian marsupials; they are short-legged, muscular quadrupeds, approximately 1 metre (39 in) in length with a very short tail. … [T]heir lack of fear means that they may display acts of aggression if provoked, or if they are simply in a bad mood. Its sheer weight makes a charging wild wombat capable of knocking an average-sized adult over, and their sharp teeth and powerful jaws can inflict severe wounds.

See that sidetrack I just took? That is my life for the past four days.)

Usually if I’m sick – even a little under the weather – I go on complete life lockdown. I’ll go to work or appointments, but I am low key and constantly snacking and hydrating.

Friday didn’t really allow for that. I went to a United Way business breakfast and awards, which meant I had to be up early and completely on-point w/r/t personal style. Somewhere in there i may have forgotten that I already took decongestant, so I took it again. At that point I think *i* began to resemble a wombat.

Then I had to condense a full workday into a less-than-full workday to deliver a huge project. Afterward, what was supposed to be a 10-minute appearance at a goodbye party turned into a four-hour odyssey, interrupted intermittently by calls to our Realtor until my phone died.

And, PS, for the first time in five years the internet in our house was completely down.

Yeah, so, not a lot of snacking and hydrating in there, which meant i woke up at 7am on Saturday in less than tip top shape – making it a perfect day to jump out of a plane with Gina and Wes.

Just ignore that Peter is carrying an entire roll of toilet paper with him as he straps into his ‘chute. “Why a roll of toilet paper,” you inquire? Because he is using boxes of tissues at the rate of 2boxes:3hrs.

Fast forward seven hours and half a roll of toilet paper and no skydive has occurred, due to cloud cover. Which, honestly, I know it’s a very complex process with a seemingly endless array of safety concerns, but when you’ve paid and you’re sitting there on the bench staring up at clouds with hunks of toilet tissue wedged up your nostrils you are thinking, what is the big fucking deal with the weather that it’s going to interfere with you THROWING ME OUT OF A PLANE!?

It’s probably all for the best because – as E pointed out – if your sinuses are completed jammed even after two boxes of tissues and half a roll of toilet paper you probably do not want to introduce massive, repeated pressure changes to ram that farther up into your brain.

I finally got my rest and hydration after that, but I had to make up for all the abuse of being out and about before I felt totally blanketless. And, while resting and hydrating and lacking internet, I didn’t get all that much done in the way of signing away my life in exchange for a charming 87-year-old Tudor.

And that was the last four days of my life.

I’ll come back and tell you the next actual chapter of the house project tomorrow. Ish. I have to make sure that wombat is corralled before I make a big show of talking about it.

The Human Calculator v. The Harmony Jukebox

May 24, 2010 by krisis

That would be a pretty dull superhero fight, huh?

Actually, the title refers to Friday’s post, which drew a quick comment from someone who built a straw-man of “The Human Spellchecker” to stand next to my snarky Human Calculator.

I’m so high-and-mighty about math, but do I use a spell-checker when I blog? Would I deny people a spellchecker too in my dedicated Ludditism?

The answers are, respectively, “occasionally” and “of course!” The existence of tools to assist us doesn’t replace the need to master skills or knowledge on our own.

Consider the source. I take for granted that I’m comfortable doing both of these things. I have to proofread words and numbers as part of both my jobs and my hobbies. It’s in my best interest to be a knowledgeable snob about both.

Maybe they aren’t the best examples for me.

I always say, “music is like calculus to me.” Yet, I’m a musician. I don’t have wonderful pitch, and I am not a natural singer. I can’t pluck perfectly in-tune harmony notes out of thin air like E or Gina, each of whom I refer to as “The Harmony Jukebox.”

When our band learns a new song I usually have to play along on piano at first, and when I sing harmony in the car E has to sing with me the first few times. And I have to pay careful attention to breath support, shaping, and phrasing to stay in tune.

At some point I have to sing the notes myself in an effortless way. If I never eliminated the piano, or E, or the careful attention to every note, I wouldn’t be much of a musician. I mean, yeah, they have auto-tune for that now, but what about performing live.

Bottom line: being a musician is hard work for me! Sometimes it isn’t any fun at all.

What if math was that hard for me? Would I sometimes just whip out the calculator? Probably. But just like music, I’d still want to know how to do it myself. I still want to possess that knowledge.

What about you? Forget grade-school antics like math and spelling. What is a difficult skill that you have to reproduce daily? Do you use a tool to assist you? And, can you still perform the same task without the tool?

What I Tweeted, 2010-05-24 Edition

May 24, 2010 by krisis

My best and most blog-worthy tweets of the last week:

In the middle of band rehearsal – new covers in full effect! We’ve hit an expected Smokey Robinson song, but also a surprising Muse tune! #
Oh lord, I just realized have two new songs of harmony to learn. It’s been a while. #
Also, interesting how G and I come at songs differently. I immediately arrange or find voicings, she immediately finds harmony/counterpoint. #

Utterly fantastic interview w/a metal/screamer vocal coach that has good info for all singers (even the quieter ones). http://bit.ly/9sCqbp #

Jorge Garcia reminisces about his time w/Lost. Even for non-fans, interesting insight into an actor landing a big showhttp://bit.ly/9h9JZP #

Nothing like looking sharp on a Friday afternoon.http://twitpic.com/1pr3xz #

A handy list of fallacious arguments, for the days that you feel like interacting with the trolls: http://bit.ly/ak3hMP #

This is my new all-time favorite piece of rock journalism – a day w/ @LadyGaga in Berlin. Amazing. RT @MentalYoga http://bit.ly/aZxW4n #

Every house-shaking thump of the bass drum from the block party PA system is another $1k that the new house is worth. #

All of my tweets (minus some @-replies) are hidden below, mostly for my own reference. Some highlighted topics/conversations you might want to browse include:

Comfort Movies / Adventures In Babysitting

Skydiving (aborted)

You should follow me on Twitter so you can read my tweet action as it happens

Phillyist votes a qualified “NO” on Philly promoter bill (#100267)

May 21, 2010 by krisis

Short version: Phillyist used me a source for an article about the proposed Philly promoter bill! They agree with me that the bill is well-intentioned but misguided, and will likely do more harm than good to the city and its blossoming music scene.

Longer version:

Over the past two weeks Philly performers and promoters have been up in arms about a Philadelphia City Council bill (#100267) proposed on April 22 that would require local venues and promoters to be more closely licensed and monitored.

How closely? The following passage is drawing most of the ire:

A Promoter of an event must obtain a promoted event permit from the Police Commissioner for each such event. Application for such promoted event permit shall be made in writing to the captain of the police district in which the event is to take place at least thirty days prior to such event …

The application shall be deemed approved unless it is
denied at least ten days prior to such event.

…must include all of the following:
(i) The promoter’s business privilege license number;
(ii) A detailed security plan…
(iii) A copy of the written contract between the promoter and special assembly occupancy licensee.

Speaking anecdotally from personal experience, let’s just say that I’m not always booked 30 days in advance, the promoter is often me or a friend putting something together on a lunch break, that our shows don’t usually require private security, and that I very rarely have a written contract to refer to as an artist or a promoter!

I have a lot of other things to say about the bill, and how it would have completely altered my opportunities as a musician as well as a promoter for our festival and #blamedrewscancer. While that opinion continues to brew into a post, Joe Ross of Phillyist did a great job of distilling my rambling to two succinct soundbites:

Peter is in support of the petition to kill the bill because it appears to limit the opportunities available to the local music scene, saying that “to try to legislate every performance takes away a lot of those opportunities — not only for artists, but for indie venues and promoters.”

Peter also had doubts about the solution we suggested above. He told us “that might just encourage known promoters to charge new, indie artists and promoters to use them by proxy. The entire system invites abuse.”

For more background on the bill, the petition, and how the two can be reconciled, check out Phillyist’s entire article on the topic.

(Also, many thanks to Joe for the multiple-platform shoutout to both my musicianship and my blogging!)

The Human Calculator

May 21, 2010 by krisis

When I go out to eat I am imbued with a special power – restaurant food renders me as THE HUMAN CALCULATOR!

Okay, not really. It’s just that I do quick math in my head all of the time, and compared to the amortization schedules I’ve been juggling lately calculating tips is hardly a challenge.

Why do people need calculators to do this! Here’s an example, from a recent five-person lunch outing that was totally not unique in that I acted as the human calculator.

I know and you know I simply have to multiply the check amount by one plus whatever the tip amount is, but I am the sort of person who does math in chunks. Thus:

The bill was $123.
10% is $12.30, so…
20% is $24.60.
We didn’t want to tip 20%, just 18%…
So, subtract 10% ($1.23) twice from $24.60.
After rounding, the tip is $22, meaning…
the total bill is $145, and we would each pay…
$29 total.

I did that in my head once in about 17 seconds, and then mentally checked my math before people were done with the tip calculator programs on their cell phones. And then they didn’t trust me because I used 18% instead of 20% and rounded by .14 cents, so they calculated it AGAIN!

And then they were like, “Whoa, you totally did that in your head.”

Seriously? SERIOUSLY?! I’m all for computers and smart phones and iPads, but have we seriously become a nation that is so terrifyingly awful at math that we’re intimidated by leaving a tip?! Move the decimal over one place, double that (or, add half if the service was bad), and adjust if necessary. The end.

No wonder mortgage lenders expected me to roll over and play dead whenever they’d change their offer to something seemingly lower. Maybe mere mortals would be tricked, but not THE HUMAN CALCULATOR.