Crushing Krisis

Comic Books, Drag Race, & Life in New Zealand

thoughts

by

My right tonsil is the approximate size and shape of a golf ball right now. I have to swallow crookedly to get around it. I’m not entirely sure how this happened (oh, other than the several hours i spent walking around in the rain last night), but it’s starting to really bother me a great deal. My tonsils, apparently, are so very abused from all the strep throat i had as a child that the slightest chill or post-nasal drip sends them ballooning out of control. And it sucks. I’d love to get them taken out, but apparently my recovery time could be horrendous seeing as how huge they are. Yum.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/03/2996016/

by

I drink coffee now. How obscene is that? A year and a half working at the coffee shop and i barely even had one au lait every month, and now i have my requisite 20oz. by noon every day (which feels perfectly lovely on my eternally-empty morning stomach). Honestly, i think it’s because we have weak coffee, the kind that normal humans can actually ingest. I was a coffee snob for a while there, but there’s no use being a snob about something i can’t even choke down a sip of. It’s like those people who collect antique furniture and then have no were to sit.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/03/2985001/

by

Everything has been more vivid lately. It started out with my shirts at work … all of them stand out as if someone coated me with melted crayolas against the bleaker greys and blues my coworkers wear. But, that vividness started to bleed into the rest of my life as well; this weekend sitting on Kathe’s floor singing along to songs that both of us didn’t know the words to i felt more real and grounded than i had in weeks. I’ve been out to eat five nights in a row, surrounded by other people with eyes twinkling and mouths rattling and finally realizing that i’m surrounded by a world where sometimes before it was more like a world surrounding me. At work i have the power to put a smile on someone’s face, or to get them to think about what they’re doing with the rest of there life. I made my friends laugh for an hour straight tonight over dinner just by being me. It’s like my life, in hypercolor: everything is brighter, and the contrast is sharper than ever.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/03/2980367/

by

I wish you could save feelings. I wish i could take raw emotion and seal it airtight in a ziplock back and hide it at the back of my sock drawer for when i needed a reminder of what a really pure feeling felt like. I would hide happiness there, where i could find it anytime … just take a peek in the morning when i put on my socks to make sure it still existed. But, sometimes we need to be reminded of other things too. Sometimes you need to be able to see the entire forest instead of just some trees; sometimes the whole of your emotion can be blinded by the tiny details that catch your eye. I wish i could keep hatred tucked under the tray of my only Offspring cd, because i never even listen to it. But, knowing it’s there makes a difference.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/03/2980312/