Comic Books, Drag Race, & Life in New Zealand
by krisis
Has “Penny Lane” ever made you cry? I’m sort halfway to tears right now, and of all the Beatles songs i could think of that’s the one that popped into my head. I think it’s the reminiscent quality of “Penny Lane” … it’s a lot like Paul is recalling it, or saying goodbye to it, but he’s not really a part of it even though he used to be. Wow, this is gonna be a depressing night for you all and I, isn’t it?
by krisis
This term has been like living out of my own body … a show, being sick all the time, not doing well in class, having a girlfriend. Show’s over, i’m finally getting better, i’m trying to steer my classes in an upward direction. Which leaves one element messing with my equilibrium… Shit. I hate myself.
by krisis
Theatre is so stressful to me now, and it used to be fun. Every night before i went out on stage this week i didn’t feel exhilarated, i felt put upon. Why did i have to be the one to wait for the lights to go out before taking the stage? Why did i have to set the tone for the whole show? Why was i the first solo song? Why did my scenes have to be the ones used to move the plot along? I’ll be the first one to admit that i loved my character and i wish i could stay with him for a few more months to understand him better, since i wound up turning him into a sort of characature of what he actually was, but i don’t love my role, and i never loved the play. Every night before we went on stage i had the dread of entering a production that i didn’t like at all, save for the people in it, and that’s the only thing that got me through. And now it’s over, and all of those people are dispersed to do what they normally do, and my life is totally back to normal. Well… almost…
by krisis
Another new song just sorta showed up half-formed and tangled in my head, which makes for three in the last two weeks. They’re all very strummy and slightly discordant, but none of them wander too far afield from “Relief,” which was obviously the establishing song for my sound this year (since it’s both of those things). Of the three so far, only one of them feels “complete” – which can be a function of the amount of work i put in, or of if the song even can contain a complete thought within its structure. Even if this new one doesn’t pan out, i get the feeling that i might be visited by a few more sometime in the near future
by krisis
Brant, i know what you mean when you talk about friends and acquaintances and how to tell the difference between them. Sometimes it’s hard to keep a perspective on what’s happening outside of yourself – like the disorientation you feel when you play a first-person shooter game from the camera angle that floats behind your own head. Sometimes you need to remove yourself from what you’ve got stewing inside and view your friendships from the outside, because then you realize how good some of your “acquaintances” really are for you. It’s not their fault that you can’t share all of your private life with them, and you need to accept them on the terms of what they do know and love about you rather than what they don’t. I went through a miserable and lonely couple of months last year when i decided that i didn’t have any real friends, until one of my real friends pointed out to me that it’s not her fault that i won’t share anything personal with her.
Of course, if we would share personal things with our friends, would we need the internet anymore :p