Crushing Krisis

Comic Books, Drag Race, & Life in New Zealand

thoughts

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I’ve always wanted to date someone with their own life, and their own problems and issues. Thinking about some of the people i’ve really crushed upon in the last few years, i don’t know if any of them had enough issues for me. It’s not as though i want to find someone with problems so i can solve them, or feel better about myself, but i think i tend to reduce myself to a much more boring person when i’m faced with someone who is extremely “normal.” And boring isn’t attractive.


Of course, liking someone with issues is a challenge unto itself. You immediately volunteer yourself, either as an answer or a crutch or a balm. Remove yourself from the situation and its like ripping the scab off of a fresh wound – everything looks even bloodier and worse than it did before you arrived on the scene.

I’m an optimist, and i like to think that there’s a middle ground. Isn’t knowing someone really cares about you enough of a crutch when you’re depressed? I always thought it would be, but maybe it was just an illusion. If that’s the case, maybe i should go back to liking boring girls, because i don’t know if i’m ready to play the daily role of a fix to someone’s addictions.

Wow, i really mixed some metaphors in there, didn’t i?

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/02/2225202/

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Isn’t it funny that i can’t distinguish between an adventurous year and a low-point in my life? It either speaks to how much i trust my television’s depiction of actual life or of how boring my life has been so far that i can’t imagine me doing anything truly fun and worthwhile like visiting Europe, or traveling cross-country, or joining a rock band. I would feel like a much healthier person if i could separate the two impulses rather than merging them in a twisted soap opera amalgam. How would you suggest i make my life feel lived in? Skydive? Play chicken with Septa buses? Walk around my neighborhood carrying something obviously valuable and brace for mugging? I need something…

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/02/2221271/

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You should probably hate me.


I don’t know if you noticed at all, but i sorta went out and got a life. I have to battle against the opposing forces of rehearsal, class, work, (survivorblog,) and a girlfriend before i get to this lonely white screen, and once i’m there i still need something to say. And i’ve got nothing to say. This nothing is a different sort of nothing than i used to have. In the past i’ve called myself two dimensional and claimed that i don’t have a single interesting thing to divulge to anyone other than the banal comings and going of my life. Now i feel somewhat oppositely… almost like i’m content that my life is full of actual happenings, so i don’t have to talk about them so much to prove their existence. Or maybe i think too much.

I’d also like to apologize for a lack of Trio … my guitar has been MIA for nearly two weeks now at my least favourite music shop in the city, getting repairs. I’d like to have a moment of silence for it, starting now…


… thnx. Love y’all.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/02/2212753/

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Life just keeps moving on, whether you’re done with it or not. Sometimes i have days where i just haven’t had enough time to do everything i needed to do. It gets to be ten or eleven at night and i realize that i’ll be up until three or four because there simply aren’t enough hours in the day. Or, maybe i’m not putting the hours i’ve got to good use. Either way, i could really use an extra few hours…. a 30-hour day would be especially nice. So… i dunno if any of you have a say in that sort of thing [you know, that Earth’s rotation around the sun and upon its own axis thing], but if you can do anything about it i’d really appreciate it. Thanx.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/01/2191327/