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thoughts

Not Dead, Just Floating

February 19, 2008 by krisis

February tends to be a pretty sparse month on CK, aside from the first two, whose blogging were fueled by infatuation with the Queen of Darkness and Elise, respectively.

Actually, February tends to be an infatuated month – a 28-day Fat Tuesday of topical gluttony – which is maybe why the blogging tends to drop off. In 2004 it was SongFight; last year, consuming media. 2006 was… being scruffy? I honestly couldn’t tell you.

I bring those three years up specifically, as they’ve dictated much of my month so far. The scruffiness aspect finally ended this morning, when I shaved off what I think (if we’re being fair) I can say was my first ever mustache. It was charming at first, and looked dashing in photos, but the prickliness of it finally got to me (just as Elise was claiming I had progressed past Brillo-pad stage, too; oh well).

The mustache was, in turn, indicative of my preoccupation with things other than self – as typically I am much too busy examining myself in the mirror to allow any such deviation from core residual self image – and those two things correspond to the other two years I mentioned above.

Like a square to a rectangle but not visa versa, SongFight is to Arcati Crisis. SongFight was perhaps the first time Gina and I masqueraded under our proper name, though we had certainly recorded together before as an entity. And, from our fours-years-ago SongFighting emerged “Moscow, Idaho,” which we played an utterly stunning version of on Saturday ever-so-shortly before my voice-losing escapade.

(“Moscow” is a curious story unto itself, but I’m saving a recap of that for when we have a better demo of the song.)

Like 2004’s before it, this February so far has been a very Arcati Crisis month. We performed three separate times, and this last one marked a major milestone that we just realized this morning: we’ve now played every one of our current songs in front of an audience. That’s sixteen tunes, which represents a nearly indescribable leap from last February when we knew just three or four.

In fact, with the exception of “Fisher Price” the songs which we now consider to be the most “solid” and “reliable” didn’t even exist as duo tunes this time last year – they were still relegated to the various demo discs and Blogathons from which they originated. Suddenly we find ourselves with thumb-twiddling time at rehearsals where we once were dreaming up new riffs to catalog tunes, and so far this month we’ve filled it with new songs and rehearsals with cello (!). Tomorrow we’ll be recording the few stragglers who haven’t yet made it onto one of our Live @ Rehearsal discs, and then I’ll be spending the rest of the month mixing.

I know that other bands have come farther in a shorter amount of time – after all, of those sixteen songs all had been written prior to 2007 – but I still can’t help but be infatuated with our progress.

Not just our progress, though – that’s an old-Peter model of infatuation, that restless addiction to revisiting a process and its product, rather than living in the present. This time I am actually infatuated with the present tense of us, and all that we are capable of. Could we have imagined in 1994 that one night we’d wind up on stage at Doc Watson’s a hair shy of last call with our friends bouncing and singing along to every word of our songs?

Well, maybe we could have, but in that mental image I probably still had my Spock haircut, which is not nearly as ravishing as the current one, AKA “Dean Winchester.”

Which, in retrospect, probably prompted the stubble.

Meanwhile, there is the aspect of 2007 that I am repeating – I’ve been very much absorbed in media consumption. It’s partially because I have been following the primary elections on various news sites, but really it’s just an input/output thing. I’m outputting riffs, harmonies, new songs, project plans, site maps, engagement party thank you notes – all manner of creativity. And if I don’t ingest and digest input from some other sources I’ll be left with nothing to output.

(Or, worse, I will return to my past-process addiction and just output recursive, painful feedback. Sort of like this post, but more shrill.)

(Okay, while we’re parenthetical already I just need to point out that I started talking about that whole input/output deal almost seven years ago, and at work we’re reading this horrific business book that I won’t even do the justice of name-checking, and it has a whole fucking chapter about how you need input in order to maintain output. Like, with a chart of a Pac-Man-esque circle eating and shitting information. I kid you not. So, yes, 20-year-old-me could teach this business guru a thing or two about a thing or two.)

(Any, mucho digression; do you see what February causes?)

My increased intake of media – particularly election coverage, which has been nigh-unavoidable the past few weeks – has re-awakened my love of media critique. Especially after nearly four years of freedom from the bonds of television I feel like I’m seeing messages for what they really are for the first time – often just inelegant, thinly-veiled agendas meant to obscure the actual meaning behind the message:

Disney loves to sell its girl-empowerment, but don’t look for it to offer a fair payout to the author behind one of its hugest properties, The Cheetah Girls.

Similarly, CNN trumpets its bottomless cadre of cell-phone equipped i-Reporters, but when one of their segment producers runs a hip, snarky blog that gets too opinionated he is promptly fired.

And, in perhaps my favorite example, our favorite brand names and supermarkets re-purposed plain old oats in increasingly portable and nutrionless forms until we are paying dozens of dollars on the pound for curiously un-oat-ish cereal bars, with MILK INCLUDED (TM).

I’m not sure if the sudden transparency is coming from me, or coming from the internet, or coming from the world at large having finally gone in for a look at its cataracts, but I’m loving it.

And, with ten days left to go, that is my February, so-far.

Filed Under: arcati crisis, bloggish, critique, Engagement, journalism, thoughts, vanity Tagged With: gina

Come in, ground control.

February 16, 2008 by krisis

Of course, if you’re going to start losing your voice in the middle of your last song and subsequently fuck up the lyrics because you are so confused about why it is suddenly so hard to sing, it will be a song you know by heart and can sing backwards and forwards in your sleep and in elevators, and Gina will cast sideways glances at you to make sure you’re not dying or frothing at the mouth or anything, because your sudden lack of ability to hold it together would typically be accompanied by a medical emergency.

And, well, it was a medical emergency – we’d spent too long in the chilly green room and played through the song on whispers and didn’t get to warm up and I had pushed too hard on a falsetto part on the song before and all of the other terrible things you should never, ever, ever do to your voice, and my voice rightfully gave in the first time it was asked to flirt with the top of the staff. But, why that song, you know? What would be the justice if you messed up a song that was, you know, hard, or that you were a little shaky on the lyrics on anyway?

A shitty end to an otherwise pretty cool evening.

Filed Under: arcati crisis, thoughts

Calibration

February 3, 2008 by krisis

Sometimes I re-read one of those huge personal biography posts so many times that it starts to seem like it should be above the fold on CK permanently, for eternity, and whatever other piddling little aspect of my life I want to report on is not worth disturbing its position as king of the virtual hill.

Then I go to a bar, or we throw a party, and everyone asks me what’s been going on in my life lately. Yes, because they’re interested, but the implied end of the question is “because you haven’t been blogging about it. At all. Punk.”

Quirkily, these periods of radio-silence tend to overlap with my most intense input/output periods – as if writing some epic-length personal post opened up the floodgates and I am uncontrollably absorbing information and outputting opinions and essays and songs at such a rapid rate that I can’t even find the time to sit down to tell you about it.

Of course, that’s only half true. Yes, weeks have been busy, and the last month seems like a blur of work, Arcati Crisis rehearsals and gigs, and wedding planning. However, in the midst of the whirlwind there are days like yesterday, wherein I spent the majority asleep on the couch, punctuated only with enough wakeful moments to change discs and fast forward past the THX noise, which is my own personal brown note.

Maybe it would be more accurate to say that the things I’ve been inputting and outputting this past month have been very personal and very political, and difficult to translate either into a coherent post that I’ll be comfortable re-reading in five years. Especially on the heels of a very personal, very political post that I’d be happy to have etched on my tombstone.

As a result, the subsequent post – however long it is delayed – is inevitably a fluff post. Like this one. Every single time.

Normal service will resume shortly.

Filed Under: thoughts

taking the words right out of my mouth

November 29, 2007 by krisis

New Trio approaches completion; I finished the songs, I just haven’t done all of the yapping yet.

In the meantime, I’ll let two of my favorite musicians speak on my behalf:

Carrie Brownstein (of Sleater-Kinney) on the Guitar Hero phenomenon.

Brian Viglione (of the Dresden Dolls) on having a sexual ambiguous image.

Filed Under: thoughts

My Face Didn’t Need That Nose Anyway

November 19, 2007 by krisis

Alright, enough with this NaBloPoMo nonsense. I’m having way too much fun at the moment – both with life and with writing about life – to ruin it by forcing the latter in the former on a contrived daily basis.

That’s not to say that I’m not going to keep posting every day, but after taking time away from hanging out with Elise and her family twice this weekend I’m certainly not sorry about deliberately missing yesterday, and I’m not rushing my next Engagement post or Trio to get them done for tonight.

So there.

Filed Under: thoughts

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