Thank god for modern medicine, that’s all i’m gonna say about that…
by krisis
thoughts
Sometimes it’s hard to think of myself as a musician when i’m not making any music. With my jettison of the tonsils impending i’ve been trying not to get too wrapped up in playing music & singing because i know that i’ll be out of commission for at least two weeks after the fact.
I didn’t have any warning when i broke my collarbone, and the following month with music was a horror; i had to sit with my back perfectly aligned to a concrete wall to even have a chance to fret chords, and anything out of first position was met with the indescribable discomfort of the internal versions of nails on a chalkboard. By the time i was healed enough to play again i had lost any sort of direction i had in July, and i had forgotten the chords to “Lost” to boot. It took nearly a month before i started writing and playing again, but what came then spoke for itself: “Will It Ever Come,” “Punk,” “One Way,” and others i can’t recall from the top of my head.
So, i’ve been ignoring my guitar, and it’s been hard. Worse is that i’ve suddenly become surrounded by gigging guitarists, professional vocalists, and one friend who is months away from a major lable deal. It’s become hard to stand in the middle of all of that with my impending loss of voice and to assert that, yes, someone should listen to me. When the blue layout went up i neglected to even add a Trio bar onto it – i haven’t done one since before i began the layout.
Somehow, despite this hiatus, last Thursday two songs happened. They caught me unaware.
Funny that i wrote that last post when i did and forgot to publish it; last night after i got home i collapsed onto my bed into a sleep deep enough that it might as well been medical in nature. It was, really; my body hasn’t taken longer than eight hours to regenerate itself in longer than i can remember. Sometimes you just need more than half of a day to put everything inside back into its proper order.
It’s a lot of life to miss out on just for being worn down, though.
I am not a big fan of surgical procedures, but anesthesia definitely excites me. It excites me because, unlike the illegal drugs that any college student is bound to be offered, it does something that your body already does nearly every day – and it does it better. I am of the firm believe that nearly all ‘drugs’ emulate a natural perception or function that your body can achieve in the short term, whether or not chemistry supports my theory. Anesthesia is something entirely different though, pulling the a shade down on your consciousness in the blink of an eye and leaving you in a deep slumber that you are helpless to arise from.
I’ve only been under twice and both times when i was instructed to count backwards from ninety-nine i did so with quiet excitement – knowing that modern medicine was about to work its magic on me. I think that’s what keeps me from getting to unnerved by whatever they’ll do to me while i’m asleep; i am fascinated by my unscheduled nap, the utter blackness that exists without turning over or being bothered by noise. It’s peaceful.
Today at my appointment the doctor began to go through a litany of warnings about the inherent dangers of being put under, a speech during which my mother usually can be found nervously clenching and unclenching her fists. She wasn’t invited to this appointment though; she went down the shore instead. As the litany moved on to postoperative dangers i remained calm, just thinking about the unfailing quiet that awaits me in twelve short days.
The doctor was impressed by my lack of nerves as she spoke of bleeding out, i think.
The two most interesting quotes i’ve read in the last 12 hours:
“Carrot Cake Soup is like the taste of watching girls make out.“
“For one thing, blogs will become ubiquitous to the point of transparency.“
The latter quote has relevance to yesterday’s first post because it implies exactly the opposite opinion of blogging while winding up with the same end result; blogs will be overabundant rather than just being over, and their proliferation will render having your own blog to be a non-event. The idea that personal pages once rife with badly justified text and awkwardly placed image files are soon to be transformed into a neverending stream of well-intentioned but poorly maintained weblogs is somewhat disappointing – even if my blog started out that way, i’ve always hoped the medium wouldn’t be relegated to such “ubiquitous” and “transparent” ends. If that happens, maintaining a domain name blog won’t be any different than having some shitty page on Geocities; not that it was any different in the first place.
As for the former quote… well, i really wanted to try the soup before they even said anything about what it tasted like.