Crushing Krisis

lalala. I enjoy getting fucked over by everyone, really. Actually, i don’t, and starting right about now i am done being nice to people. Period.

I think part of my niceness stems from my continual fear that i am doing something that could draw equal or worse criticism from someone. This has been the case in class, at home, at work, and this summer. As a result of it i have been sucked into doing things i don’t want to do, enduring situations i have been uncomfortable in, and being rather miserable in general.

Today the situation is this: Matt has disappeared off of the face of the earth, and we were supposed to go and sign our lease today. I am annoyed enough at this, but to compound the situation, a call to the realitor revealed that he didn’t even draw up our lease yet because my mother’s check “hadn’t cleared.” Obviously the fucker wanted cash. Meanwhile, the realitor runs his operation along with his brother, and neither of them ever offer up their names when you meet them or talk with them on the phone. Voicing my confusion about who i was dealing with by asking if they were twins, i was met with “no, we’re robots,” and was hung up on.

So, now i am sitting here, out $500 with no lease to show for it, roommate nowhere to be found, sick, and very very angry. I’m not sure what can be done to alleviate anything going on in this situation, but barring some act of god in the next two hours, i’ll be moving home tonight to avoid being evicted from the dormitory on Sunday by force (whether it be physical or monetary). I (with the occasional aid of my dear mother) have done just about everything i can have possibly done in this situation, with my only failure being that i woke up late the day after the Weezer concert. However, i seem to be getting nothing but FUCKED in return.

wow … i just heard this tremendous crash and thought that the new dorm had crumbled under its own blocky weight, but a glance out my window reveals otherwise. It seems Philly is being treated to another humidity triggered downpour (that will surely clear up in under an hour). This ultra-soggy weather has been on and off for the past few weeks, and i am definitely enjoying all the rain. However, these mid-day explosions of sound and water can be a little unsettling. Especially when caught out without an umbrella.

I am reading this intriguing essay about why web journals suck. I’m not entirely sure that this applies to me, since i journal as much for my own enjoyment as for anyone else’s since no one reads my “journal.” Also, my website existed long before this little part of it did, and this represents only a mere fraction of the total content. As of now i feel like this is the ultimate in update logs: every reason why i am and am not updating my page right now.

(yes, that link means i read a bit of Survivor Blog. No, i am still not going to link to it)

All of freespeech seems to be having the same problem with their audio, so for now i’ve decided to forget about it. One thing i noticed in my quick spin around FreeSpeech is that i run one of the more decent sites on here. I’m not being pretentious, really! Search for “Band” from the main freespeech page and almost half of the first page of links will turn out to be “coming soon” pages, or “updated 7/99” pages. It makes me damn proud that i upkeep my site as often as i do. In an effort to get more people to read my site, i am updating the META tags with better keywords. If anyone good with that sort of thing has any ideas for me, please let me know.

While i am plugging other random blogs i run across, you should definitely go to not so soft – blog [a world unfolding] [v7.0]. Besides the obvious Ani DiFranco fan who lives there, it’s one of the most well done logs i have seen in the past few weeks. And, as an ultra-bonus, she links to other equally well-thought-out sites.