bonnaroo

In less then twenty hours i will be en-route to one of America’s Big Three music festivals – Bonnaroo – unfolding for four days in the center of a 700+ acre Tennessee farm with over 75,000 rock fans camping out to take in the nearly 24/7 music, comedy, and film.

Knowing me as well as you surely do, you might find yourself wondering, “Are you sure you want to camp in the middle of almost 100k people in the middle of a farm in the middle of Tennessee in the middle of June?” I am definitely not pro-camping, am slightly anti-people, assuredly pro-metro pro-blue-states, and for sure anti-heat.

Clearly, Bonnaroo is my personal kryptonite – a collection of all the things that leave me woozy just from contemplating them, but lined with the glowing allure of endlessly awesome music.

However, consider this: i am nothing if not a consumate over-preparer. And, while that won’t help me too much with the small city i’ll be surrounded with, it certainly bodes well for a road-trip that ends in camping in withering summer heat. I have equipped myself with a partner nearly equal to myself in OCD worrywartism.

We tandem shopped Walmart, Target, and EMS sports for necessary supplies, working from an exhaustive excel spreadsheet. We set up and struck our tent (an 8-man with a shade porch) at night while tipsy and with little light to simulate actual conditions.

We have our travel itinerary printed in a binder with corresponding directions, historical notes, and soundtrack (a la Elizabethtown, but with better music). We have an entire pharmaceutical cabinet masquerading as a duffel bag, chock full of sanitizers, moisturizers, analgesics, and antihistamines. We have a trio of eight-mile range walkie-talkies that charge in the car.

And, perhaps most importantly, we have enough liquor to keep several dozen fest-goers drunk for a solid twenty-four hours (and, lest that sound irresponsible, we also have corresponding FAQs on hangover cures, dehydration, and heatstroke).

I am ready for Bonnaroo. I think. I’m still on the fence about buying something with GPS.

No, really, I’m ready. Stay tuned to see if i managed to blog any of the festival via picture posts and time in the ‘Roo internet tent.