Just kidding!
by krisis
q.o.d.
The girlfriend decided on her own that she doesn’t ever want to read this page, and that i should never wander over to read her diary. I told her weeks ago that she might not want to read this, not because i didn’t want her to read it but because i often say things on here without putting much explanation behind them and she might eventually be offended. Anyhow, i think we had trouble understanding the boundaries of each other’s writing – i assumed that her diary would be open to the public since she bothered to put it online but told her i wouldn’t read it if she didn’t want me to while she couldn’t understand how this could be open to the public even though she probably shouldn’t read it. But, anyway, that’s all over now, and now i can say mean things about her again :p
The mess in here is a metaphor the way sleep yields dreams because without it this song would be a figment of my imagination and i would just be clean. I can’t be rescued from the empty shopping bags and dust and these feelings are homing in and i must give them a play. I’ll spin them out like your records left discarded on the floor when we upped the rpm to something more. And the emotions spun out of control and the bodies fit like a needle in the groove and after it was all over we couldn’t even muster up the strength to move. There’s still no blinds for my windows because i don’t like to cover up at all, i’d rather everyone see in past my walls. I’m always illuminated and the sunlight is unescapable and i always have a full view of the moon. It’s full like eyes brimming with tears after another friday night spent alone with our phones. And our voices darted past telephone poles so our brutal remarks could hit home. My fear of you is a tell tale sign that everything’s is just fine, but my running away is an end not a means, and heartbreak lies inbetween. But i keep putting one foot in front of the other and soon i’ll be disappearing from sight – just another blemish on your vast horizon i will do my best to disappear into the night. And our emotions spun out of control and the bodies fit like a needle in the groove and after it was all over we couldn’t even muster up the strength to move. The mess in here is a metaphor and my sleep yields dreams without them this songs would be a figment of my imagination and i would come out clean.
i lost the taste from my tongue
as if i was licking up the sun
but now it’s just numb so your kiss means nothing
i’ve got your number on my list
but i won’t grant you your wish
yeah, i know you’re holding out for something
i can see right past your eyes
your paper thin disguise
but you seem to think it’s wise to waste my time but
i’m onto you, and i see through it
i know that you dare because you care and because you’ve got nothing else to do
keep that upper lip stiff
don’t drop because you’ve got a whiff
of what’s to come for us
i wouldn’t ditch you just for fun
but i’ve got a heart on the run
and it’s scared that you might be the one
it’s seen right past your charms
through breasts and open arms
but it can’t disregard what’s in your eyes
i thought i was through with you, but i see through
i know you dare because you care because you’ve got nothing else to do
if you would leave me be
i would run free
but you disagree and you’re holding onto me
you’re my personal eclipse
i can taste it with my lips
and i feel it in my hips but my enthusiasm’s gone
i thought we were through, but now i’m onto you
you dare to care because you’ve got nothing else to do
i lost the taste from my tongue
as if i was licking up the sun
but now i’m just numb.
Methinks it might be time for bed. I can’t even begin to tell you why i’m up this late, since i’m obviously not doing any work and i’ve gotten way past surfing to all of my favourite sites. Mostly it’s because i slept half the day today … nearly until 2pm. I’m usually not given to such slothfullness on weekdays if only because i can’t ever bring myself to go back to sleep after i’m wholly awake, but today i made an exception because i really didn’t want to be anywhere other than in bed. What’s funny is, as much as i was fulfilled by the sleep, now i seem to think that sleep is the last thing i need and i’d rather just stay awake. I know i liked sleeping, and that i’ll like sleeping, but despite that i’m sitting here wide awake and typing – which in the greater scheme of things means nothing.
So, yeah. I suppose what i have to decide between is the moment and my continued happiness. Right now i’m having a fine time, but i should probably be asleep. It’s better for me. But, if i sleep, i’ll miss out on doing things. Sure, some of them might be pretty stupid, but there’s a gem in there every so often. But, if i go to bed, it’s all just dreams, and nothing ever comes of them.
If anyone knows what i’m talking about, i’ll buy you a cookie. Really. Try me.