Crushing Krisis

Comic Books, Drag Race, & Life in New Zealand

q.o.d.

by

Last night we were lying in bed talking about what we did over the weekend, and she turned to me and said “every time i do something with you it feels like the first time.” She mostly meant this on the level that everything from giving a hickey to walking down the street holding hands is new to me, and that i approach it all with a sense of wonder and humor instead of duty or trepidation. But, in a way, it actually sounded like she was telling me i made it all new for her again…

I cried a little bit last night, but she just thought it was because my eyes were tired. And they were. Anyhow, excuse me while i fall head over heels…

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/01/2087848/

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I think the core problem is that you are reducing me to my words. It’d be really different if you were viewing me only in terms of my songs, or anything like that, but all this represents is a skewed, blurred, sarcastic look at my life. That you can read it and assume you’re almost caught up on the story seems so ridiculous to me that i can’t help but lash out. I can’t be your friend if your only interaction with me is reading this; this is a Peter supplement, not a Peter replacement. I feel shitty now, for a whole ton of reasons. I’m sorry i keep playing this same damned broken record. I’m going over my girlfriend’s now. I’ll be back on the blog in a few days. Enjoy the rest. Bye.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/01/2081125/

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One of the aforementioned sudden flirtations comes from a girl who is an absolute doppleganger of Anastasia, who (if you recall) i was madly in love with for my last year and a half of high school. Of course, now i can’t do anything about it at all because i’d be a lousy cheating bastard, but what really gets me is that i have my stage managers heckling me the whole time i’m talking to the girl, as if i’m gonna lean in and start necking with her. I have my own damned conscience to deal with!, i don’t need anyone else’s. I swear… people just don’t get me at all.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/01/2080950/

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Ha! I write about hickeys and my friends flood me with messages asking about this new love interest of mine. Nice, guys, very classy (in the way that voyeurism is classy) Do you really want to hear about my life? I think you must, since you snap up all the juicy bits. Here’s one to mull over: did i ever mention how i don’t feel like i have any friends? I mean… i have a few close ones that i value greatly, but for the most part all of the people i call friends are just people i generally associate with or have something random in common with me. Most of them don’t really know anything about me, like my bouts with anorexia, or how i’m convinced i’m bi-polar, or about my small cancer scare. Why? Because i never told them, because i don’t feel like i have that kind of connection to them. Or maybe i just made all of that shit up. Of course i mention it here and suddenly they’re all crawling down my throat trying to find out what’s happening.


Wow, i can be a bit harsh, can’t i? Oh well … this is my life … either take the heat or melt.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/01/2080893/

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So, yeah, um… isn’t it interesting how suddenly all these cute girls who’d normally never give me the time of day are flirting with me? I mean… it isn’t like i’m any more attractive than i was two weeks ago, so unless i’m suddenly putting off pheromones (and strong ones, at that), i really don’t see why these people are flirting with me. It isn’t fair! I mean… obviously it feels very nice to be paid attention to, but they’ve picked the one time in my life i can’t flirt back. Argh! Women.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/01/2080274/