New Trio is up and featured a bit more prominently on the sidebar (god only knows how people were expected to find the link from last week, ‘cuz i don’t). I encourage you to listen to it, since this entire site really did start from my music (which remains the center-piece). This blog just adds background to where i’m coming from in my songs.

On that note, i’m gonna talk about “deadweight,” which is one of the songs from this week. I originally wrote the lyrics in July of 1999, and then arranged it in early August. When i first wrote the lyrics i thought they would head in the musically jerky direction of Elastica’s “Hold Me Now,” but i wound up being more influenced by my summer obsession with Melissa Ferrick (one part Ani, one part Melissa Etheridge, shake well). I actually didn’t think “deadweight” would amount to very much at all, which is evidenced by the fact that i wrote it upside down in the margins of another song (which remains unused).

The chorus came first to me first: here i was headed to college while some people seemed to be intent on keeping me rooted to the spot where i stood in every sense. While most people tend to think the song is about my mother once they hear that much about it, it’s actually about a friend of mine from highschool. He was perfectly fine as a friend, but his whole life was centered very much around secrecy, competition, and negative energy. I increasingly found that being with him kept me rooted in the catty snappish spot i spent much of high school in, and i didn’t want to be there anymore. However, as many times as i tried to “cut him loose” in the past, i always wound up friend with him again. Realizing all of this in “deadweight” put an end to the vicious cycle; i haven’t spoken with him since.

For more commentary you can head here or here. Audio of “deadweight” and most other songs i mention can be found in the AMkitchen, which is the core of my webpage.