Archives for 2000

Please, all you junior-Freudians and psych-majors in the audience, keep your interpretations to yourself. I think experiencing that narrative while sick is enough mental anguish for one day without having to hear what that says about my subconscious psyche.

I’m usually quite a dancer, but for some reason i was having trouble keeping beat to this particular song. Making the situation even worse, i was very close to the middle of the semi-circle, which meant that i would definitely be on-camera when this bit aired on television. I desparately tried to bop back and forth and look merry, but something just wasn’t right. To my right a high school classmate of mine was dancing (not just any classmate: a girl with nearly the same last name who i referred to as “sis”), and she was breakin’ it down. She encouraged me to engage in a box step, or my infamous mashed potato, but i couldn’t. Finally, i figured out that my knees were virtually locked together, restricting my movement to the most basic steps i knew.

As the cameras panned away from the shot that would include me, my mind wandered, thinking about my locked knees. Just flailing my calves and feet in any direction made me think of myself as a merman, for some incredible reason. So, i pictured myself as a merman, and tried to decide who had a pool that i could bathe in.

It was around there that i awoke to go take my medication.

And it only gets better. After the kiss, the mother ape realizes her folly in trying to persuade her daughter to marry for something other than love, and the two embrace as she apologizes. This outpouring of primate-emotion apparently triggered the ape’s special power, which was to coalate moisture into tiny clouds that would dance upon their fingertips. When they reached out and brushed these clouds against someone’s skin they would disperse their moisture across the surface of said skin, making the person as sweaty as a hog

Yes, i know, it’s a great power.

After touching quite a few people, including myself, the young female ape began climbing the building we were standing in front of in classic king-kong style. Once she reached the roof of the entrance to the building (which wasn’t too far above my head), she broke out into song. At first the entire assembled cast watched her intently as she sang her heart out, but soon background music picked up behind her. It was a steady dance beat, and so the entire cast assembled in a giant semi-circle around the circumference of the garden and danced along.

Last night was no exception. Snuggled in my very own bed in my own room at home, i dreamt a myriad of strange strange things. The definite winner was some strange sort of soap opera starring some people i actually know, and some i made up out of my head. All of the characters were gathered at a sort of garden party, awaiting the entrance of someone. That someone turned out to be a walking, talking, female ape. She was very beautiful and famous and was accompanied by her mother. She was so beautiful and famous, in fact, that all of the men at the party were hoping to marry her. She was oblivious to this.

At one point i was speaking to Ms. Ape, and i revealed to her (much to my own surprise) that i knew the person who had made the giant lady-liberty-like sculpture of her. She immediately asked to be introduced and so we walked through the party to the entrance of the building it was being held outside of. Standing there was Anthony, a Drexel Player who recently transferred to New Orleans. I introduced the two, and they were mutually charmed by each other.

Some amount of conversation followed, and it quickly became apparent that Anthony and the she-ape were enamored with each other. The she-ape’s mother(-ape) seemed a bit perturbed by this, as she was hoping her daughter would marry a professional and not some arty college student. In open defiance of her mum, the beautiful young ape declared that she and Anthony would be engaged right there, if he would accept her offer. He immediately agreed and the two shared a passionate kiss.

When i’m sick i have fever dreams.

That might seem like a no brainer to anyone else, by my fever dreams are always extra strange. I used to have this dream where i was forced to watch someone weigh out large appliances like refrigerators by dropping one penny at a time onto a counter-scale. During spring semester i think i was having a dream that my roommate was trying to kill me, because i kept sitting up and turning on the light to make sure he was asleep before i would go back to the dream.