Some crushes are a little less cerebral than others.

Before you get too excited, I feel that it's necessary to tell you that you cannot order these online.

E brings home amazing butter crunch peanuts, cashews, and almonds from Iovine Brothers at Reading Terminal Market. They come in pint-size plastic containers, are festooned with tiny morsels of buttery crunch, and rarely last past two sittings with me.

When I saw this fairly hefty tub of (surprisingly good) Target house brand Archer Farms Butter Crunch peanuts over the weekend I felt like I had found the mother-ship, and oh how they lived up to that promise and MORE.

First, this thing is massive. I attacked it again and again over the weekend and hardly made a dent. The peanuts are covered entirely with a buttery, caramel-esque shell that renders them the totally perfect sweet:salt ratio. PLUS they are nuts, so they’re a suitable between meals snack to keep from getting ravenous (even if they aren’t exactly health nuts).

Finally, while I cannot comment on this theory from firsthand experience because the risk of having ice cream in the house is far too great, it seems like the litter of broken crunch shells from the bottom of the container would be the best ice cream topping in the history of civilization.

Let’s just say I’m obsessed and leave it at that. And if you have some horrible truth to disclose about their nutrition information, or that they’re harvested by killing defenseless baby narwhals, or whatever, just keep it to yourself, mmkay?