krisis

Krisis has been creating Crushing Krisis since 2000, writing songs since 1996, and reading comics since 1991. He is a Customer Success and Digital Brand Strategy executive, serial organizer, parent, and feminist, among other things. Based in Philly through 2017, he now resides in Wellington, NZ.

RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars Power Rankings, S2E1 – “All Star Talent Show Extravaganza”

August 27, 2016 by krisis

Wow. Just… wow.

The first episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars Season 2 was like the summer blockbuster movie of drag: it had tons of flashy effects and big twists, but the ending wasn’t much of a surprise.

The blockbuster status isn’t just because of a cast of 10 mostly-flawless queens, but because the show finally let the queens perform exactly as they would in their own drag shows with a unthemed talent show.

Honestly, I can understand why Ru wouldn’t try this on any old season – some of the typical queens might have messy routines or rely entirely on licensed music to make things work. However, for 10 all-stars at the top of their games it was a different story entirely.

How did the rankings shake out after the show compared to my Pre-Season Rankings from Thursday given the shocking rules changes for Season 2, all of the talents on display, and the ouster of Coco Montrese? Let’s take a look.

1. Roxxxy Andrews

Runner-Up, Season 5. Pre-Season Rank: 7

Roxxxy Andrews was flawless in this episode.

Flawless.

Her entrance look was one of the best of all time. Roxxxy was breathtakingly gorgeous, modern and feminine, but aspects of it were still exaggerated enough to read as drag. Her burlesque routine was a hot little number, and she looked like a curvy woman while she did it.

Most importantly, she got to be the one to test-drive the new “Top queen kicks off the bottom queen” system, and it showed just how tactically she plays this game. She passed over kicking off two competitors most likely self-sabotage in the future in Phi Phi and Adore (one with utterly rabid fans) for a competitor who could reasonably beat her in a Lip Sync and doesn’t have the huge fanbase to vilify her.

Will the smarts and unshakeable confidence last? I say yes – this really felt like an all-new Roxxxy. But in this new format the moment a strong contender winds up in the bottom two she’s toast.

Can Roxxxy really stay out of the bottom until the final episode, or at least manage to wind up in the bottom with the bigger threats Alaska or Katya? Let’s recall, she only lip synced a single time in her original season. It could happen. [Read more…] about RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars Power Rankings, S2E1 – “All Star Talent Show Extravaganza”

happy birthday to this

August 26, 2016 by krisis

On a walk with EV last September.

I – Zina

I am playing a show with my cover band tonight in a bar that is just up the road from my house.

This is not an unusual event. We’ve maintained a steady flow of roughly bi-monthly shows for several years now, and with them we’ve developed a rehearsed rhythm of preparation, load-in, set-up, and breakdown.

The remarkable part of tonight is that it will be my last regular appearance alongside our brilliant drummer Zina for the foreseeable future. I’ve been in three different bands with her since 2010. I’ve reached the point that it’s fait accompli for me to assume any new song I write or learn will make its way to her sticks.

In the days before I met Zina, my guitar playing frequently lacked a tangible rhythm. You couldn’t feel the emphasized beats within my strumming. There was no pulse. At my best, I was writing syncopated song with room for more arrangement within. At my worst (much of which is still creeping around in old posts here), it sounded like I was playing in free time because I never quite complete a measure, so hurried was I to move from each chord to the next.

Zina helped me define the space in my playing – space filled with rhythm, but also space filled with silence. Now I can even find that space when I’m playing on my own.

Hosting RJ’s client event in SF in October.

I am not sad about the show or about Zina leaving the way I was last year when she first broached the subject of her eventual departure. I’m thrilled for her to move on to a new city and new opportunities, but that’s not the only reason I’m not despairing. I’ve learned to accept and adapt to change in this past year like never before. I know that nothing good ever lasts forever, but now I understand that some other good always follows.

In fact, compared to one, five, or ten years ago, the only aspects of my life that have remained constant throughout are playing music, being in a relationship with E, and writing here at Crushing Krisis – as I have been for the past sixteen years as of today, its anniversary. [Read more…] about happy birthday to this

RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars Power Rankings, S2 Pre-Season

August 25, 2016 by krisis

drag-queens-rupauls-drag-race-all-stars-2-th The second season of RuPaul’s Drag Race All-Stars starts tonight on both Logo and VH1!

That means we all get a second glorious run of weekly drag queens this year, only this time its starring 10 seasoned queens we already know and who I largely love.

However, not ever All-Star can enter the Hall of Fame. How do I see things shaking out? Here’s my Power Rankings of these ten glittering queens heading into tonight’s premiere.

Here’s where I see their chances headed into tonight’s premiere. You can grab a season pass for all the eleganza in stunning streaming HD for $20 on Amazon.

1. Alaska Thunderfuck 5000

Runner-Up, Season 5

Pro: Alaska is the obvious heir apparent to the RuPaul crown in the same way Chad Michaels was at the start of the first season of All-Stars. She’s a multi-media superstar, she executes her twisted alien vision flawlessly, and Ru and World of Wonder come calling again and again for her to anchor tours, interview on red carpets, and pretend to be Anna Wintour on the S7 premiere.

Basically: she’s already treated like royalty. Her losing to Jinkx Monsoon was fair but it was a near thing that Ru can easily amend.

Con: Alaska isn’t the squeaky-clean queen that Chad was, both in presentation and reputation. There’s also her decidedly scatological sense of humor, which is riotous during a solo video or show but not as honed when competing for airtime with nine other girls. If Ru sees her fleet of Champions as the ultimate brand representatives, Alaska might not be the best choice to join them.

Plus, does she even need to the title to be more successful? In a way, she’s the next evolution of Raven – someone who will continue to endure and grow in popularity even as an eternal runner up. So, why waste a winner’s spot on her?

Ru-buttal: The Drag Race brand might need Alaska in the same way it needed Bob or Kim Chi in Season 8 – these girls represent a new generation of drag for an ever-widening group of mainstream fans who were born long after Ru stopped enjoying getting dragged up every day. Plus, Alaska is a trained actor – if Ru needs a spokesperson, she can nail it.

2. Yekaterina Petrovna Zamolodchikova AKA Katya

5th Place, Season 7

Pro: Katya’s insanity has eclipsed Season 7, some of Season 8, the entire schedule of World of Wonder web shows, and most other queens from recent seasons. What seems like non-sequitur, dadaist humor is the finest-honed, completely deadpan self-deprecation delivered with a natural sense of comedic timing.

Also? Her looks are frequently less man-in-wig and more actual woman on her commute to work realness.

Con: Katya’s not ready for this crown because her best feature is that she’s a compelling underdog. Even after her season, she continues to buckle under pressure when it’s time to impress, whether it’s her slo-mo dancing in big lip syncs or her bombing at a few high-profile gigs. She doesn’t vary her looks as much as her competition, and when she does it’s usually for determinedly fugly outfits – they’re on-brand for her, but not for Drag Race. Crowning her right after the similarly hilarious and salacious Bob seems redundant.

Plus, she’s still early in her recovery, and while that gives her a lot of manic energy, it’s also not the ideal story for Ru’s #1 brand representative. She needed another few years to bake, just like Alyssa and Alaska.

Ru-buttal: That’s all valid, but the fans have spoken on this one. If Ru wants to cross over into the mainstream with a modern update of her own outsized personality, Katya’s a fine choice. [Read more…] about RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars Power Rankings, S2 Pre-Season

Wonder Woman Comic-Con Trailer!

July 23, 2016 by krisis

I’ve already recently covered my lifelong love of Wonder Woman, so I don’t think I need to explain that I found this trailer to be heart-stoppingly good. I gasped out loud the first time Diana used the lasso of truth.

I also appreciated that Chris Pine is playing the same mouthy handsome guy he always plays, but that every one of his little pieces of pith in the trailer was undermined by the somber score. While this still has a little too much “defining Wonder Woman as the inverse of a man” to it for my liking, it never once gives the illusion that Pine is the star or that the camera mirrors his gaze.

Oh, and: Etta Candy is wonderful.

two zoos in two days (and one terrifying capybara)

July 21, 2016 by krisis

E’s sister Jenny has stayed with us many times since we’ve lived in this house and they’ve all been pretty boring.

This is completely paradoxical, as Jenny is a professional museumologist (I should probably ask her what the real word is) and world traveller who loves nothing more than a zoo – or, even a safari (the non-violent kind). Both time I’ve visited her in California have been filled with an assortment of jogging, yoga, movies, dinners, and museums. Yet, E and I are usually exhausted from work and willing to be the ultimate homebodies, so having Jenny stay with us in Philly tends to turn into a lot of lying on the floor and watching Netflix all day. I’m pretty sure we’ve literally done nothing with her on any occasion of her staying here other than leave the house to get food.

Of course, now there is an EV in the equation – we can’t lie on the floor and watch Netflix all day because (a) she isn’t permitted to watch TV and (b) she would spend the entire time walking all over us. Also, (c), you have to feed her something other than tea and cereal. Plus, sitting around the house all day is a little less attractive when you have every day off from work because you quit your job to hang out with a toddler.

Thus, for this Jenny-cation I swore that we’d do some adventuring together with EV. I didn’t intend for that to be entirely crammed into a single 48hr period, but this week’s excessive heat left us with a small window into which we had to cram all of our outdoor action.

2016-06-15 11.30.23 We wound up doing two zoos in two days, and despite hitting various zoos over a half a dozen times in my 10 weeks of toddler concierge service, these past two days were some of the most fun. Jenny provided some much-appreciated tag-teaming, knows a seemingly endless amount of animal facts, facilitated thoughtful engagement with the elements of instructional design that I normally ignore, and even figured out that we got a massive discount at one zoo due to being members of the other one.

Due to Jenny’s zoo obsession and world-traveling habits, it is really hard to find an animal she has never seen before or an animal experience that is completely unique for her, so I pride myself that we were able to tick both boxes yesterday at the Elmwood Park Zoo.

First, there is the peccary, also known as “the skunk pig.” They are the weirdest thing. It’s a slender pig on high, spindly legs with a coat of bristly fur that is nearly reminiscent of a porcupine. When I was first researching Elmwood Park with Mother of Krisis for a visit last month, I was sure that the peccary’s entry on their site was an overripe April Fool’s joke – surely this oddball thing wasn’t an actual animal!

Not only is it actual, but Jenny had never seen one before. They’re honestly not all that exciting to look at, but their slightly ominous, Lord of the Flies dead-eye gaze in photos doesn’t really portray how ridiculous they look in person as they shuffle around to dig in the dirt with their snouts.

2016-07-20 14.12.40 In addition to introducing Jenny to peccaries, we also got closer to a capybara than either of us had even been before. Due to it carefully balancing itself on the edge of its tiny, artificial lakeland home, we were barely an arm’s length away from the creature, and I return to inform you that as the largest rodents in the world capybaras are fucking terrifying.

Like, sure, from afar when they are napping (which is pretty much ALWAYS in my experience) they look like a cute, pillow-sized guinea pig hamster sort of thing that you could snuggle at night, but when you are up close you realize they are a rodent that half as big as you and as solid as a bulldog and they do all of those twitchy little rodent things you’ve seen a hamster do except at about ten times the scale.

That little nose-wrinkle that is so adorable when held in the palm of your hand? When you see it magnified 10x by something that could probably chomp clean through your arm it activates base fight-or-flight instincts in your subconscious lizard brain. They are downright disturbing. It occupies a sort of uncanny valley of unreality that, combined with my terror, made it a struggle to keep my eyes affixed on it for more than a few seconds at a time.

Jenny is with us for a few more days and I’m sure she’ll create many more memories with EV, but for me it will be hard to top that wild kingdom double-whammy on this trip – plus, it gives me something to try to top for the next time she’s in town, and we all know there’s no one I am more competitive with than myself.