“hey, the right girl can do it from anywhere”
Sorry, i just read roughly half of In Passing all at once, so i’m in ‘funny snippet’ mode.
I feel like i’ve somehow been very far removed from the sort of snap reactions i used to write. Either i don’t make them anymore, or i’m making them somewhere else, or… or now i know just who’s reading and i know if i came to these sorts of snap decisions in front of them it would be ugly or not quite kosher. So, i’m writing these massive meandering essays and it’s ridiculous because i’m hardly getting anywhere. I suppose the cost of an audience that you interact with is that you’re likely to be writing about someone who’s reading you at that very second, and so you have to decide if you want to trade alienation for freedom, and sometimes you don’t have a choice. But, anyhow, i have to go run errands now.
Back in the real world, my lease ends a week from today, and i think it just fully hit me today that all of my things have to be mobile by the middle of next week. The result was a two hour cleaning and packing binge that has so far gotten half of my cds, half of my clothing, and half of my books put away. The only problem seems to be that i have run out of places to put things, and so hopefully i’ll be going to walmart later to rectify the situation. Anyhow, today i am putting down the deposit on the new apartment (finally), and seeing my mother for nearly the first time all summer, and apparently i have decided to blog about lots of uninteresting things in an attempt to drive you away before the anniversary celebration on Sunday. Run!
Isn’t it sort of funny that after all that talk about net identity on Sunday i’ve had mine irrevocably altered? If i thought that anyone at America Online gave two cents or ten seconds of a care towards my screenname being hacked i wouldn’t have learned anything during my time on the internet, and since i have i know that the likelihood of seeing me on aolim as KrisisPM ever again is about as much as my suddenly resubscribing to the dreaded AOL service and blogging that my new email is krisispm@aol.com.
Would you believe that this kept me up last night? Wondering what kind of bored and awful person would just yank my name out from under me just because i was a potential target since i sent them a single IM. Some people hop from name to name and from website to website and from layout to layout, and that’s all well and good for them. However, i take my identity online very seriously after all of these years, and so i am a fan of permanence. The email that everything funnels past on the way to my school account is only the third email address i’ve ever had. This webpage is only the third primary incarnation of my web presence. And, i have only ever had exactly one im name.
I’m not sure what this is supposed to inspire me to do. Is it a message from above that’s it’s time to wean myself away from virtual conversations and back onto real ones? Maybe, but the folks above seem to be ignoring that some of my best friends are mostly virtual at this point. Or, is it instead a reminder to me that nothing is ever really permanent, and that i should have alternate plans for when something i was counting on disappears from my life.
I don’t know.
oh. my. god.
I was on instant messenger talking to ashley and suddenly she comes screaming at me from another window that someone just hacked into her main account. I say something idle to the person, and they idly threaten me, and then they sign off. And, suddenly, i am booted and cannot sign back on to save my life and my password and email has been changed and i honestly think i’ve just been locked out of the screenname i’ve been using for the past four years. if this is the case, um… i think i’m going to throw my computer out of the window. i fucking hate people.