Crushing Krisis

Comic Books, Drag Race, & Life in New Zealand

my music

Trio: Season 1, #19/20

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Trio. Wow. Bad. Okay.

So, i’m uploading the first bad one and the second bad one, because they’re bad for totally different reasons and between the two of them you can almost see the good that i intended. In the first one i’ve got too much voice and too much guitar and it’s all just much too much, and in the second one i don’t have much voice left at all despite having solved the other issues – but the voice makes a big difference. Fuck. Now i’m not going to be able to hit my high note tomorrow for practice-juries. Or, is that today… I’m such a stubborn little fucker. Trio will be the death of me, i’m sure of it.

Reccomended: Trio A – Tired Of Sex (Weezer), Up & Down, Buildings and Bridges (Ani), The Trouble with Poets (Mulvey), Lost (original key)

Not For the Faint of Heart or Ear: Trio B – The Trouble with Poets (Mulvey), Lost (original key), Up & Down, Tired of Sex (Weezer)

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#17 is true. A girl kissed me aproximately 3 years, 2 months, and 2 hours after when i originally asked a girl if she’d kiss me.


Of course, i always remember wanting to kiss girls, from when i was very little. When i was five we went to Disney World, and there was one rather boring ride on a boat and i just remember that the most adorable girl was sitting across from me but i was afraid to look right at her because i felt like she would immediately know i was staring at her and i’d look like some dorky little five year old just smiling dumbly at the cutest six year old ever. So, yeah, i was setting up for romantic disaster very early on in life.


Anyhow, the girl who never kissed me was Juliana, and while i didn’t ask her to kiss me outright i would like to point out that our faces were very near to each other and it had never crossed my mind to kiss anyone ever before then in such an immediate fashion. So, while the actual question posed was whether or not she’d ever consider going on a date with me, it was only asked because the question we’re focusing on had been asked and answered in that are faces were still just near to each other. But, anyhow, we just wound up sharing lip gloss, and the rest is history.


As for my first kiss, it’s a topic i dance around constantly on this log without ever actually talking about it, because i talked about it entirely too much when it first happened. As you can easily see, i have no concept of secrets when it comes to myself so i didn’t think to keep my mouth shut about kissing someone – never thinking about if the someone would prefer me to keep my mouth just slightly less ajar than it was. I suppose it would have been better if i just continued to watch the replay of it in my head and not replay it for everyone else, but decisions are decisions and no one was hurt by any of it and life goes on (without us ever ever kissing again). So… no links to point you towards for this one, but if you’re a regular reader i’ll tie it all together for you; these three events coincide: first kiss, new years 2000, & “under my skin.”


Happy now?

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/06/3881170/

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For a while there was a flicker of light reflected on my change jar that seemed just the right red and gold to be the reflection of a fire, but after a thorough examination of the room to ascertain that there was an absence of flame i realized it was sunlight flitting through the trees outside my bedroom window. Today i feel like a flicker of something; hoping that i’m not outrightly extinguished yet sometimes blooming full and hot. I was too distracted to sing during my lesson today, but then i focused for half a minute to produce two notes that Becky thinks were my best ever. Inconsistent. I don’t think i did much at work today, but no one seems to mind. Tonight the sky is turning from blue to blue with the tiniest band of green on the horizon, and my neighbors yellowed kitchen light is peering around my crimsony sheet draped across the window. Everything is colors, but the fire in this room has gone away and left it black and white and gray.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/05/3864767/

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It’s a shame that my voice is being stretched to the limit on all of the choruses of Song #1 (below), because otherwise i think the vocal delivery sounds pretty ‘on.’ I haven’t got up the right momentum or distortion to get that down as a punk song, but rest assured that it’s more punk than anything else i’ve ever written. Except “Punk.” That’s definitely punker. I was a little concerned when i first started playing this song because the verses are essentially the same I-V-IV pattern as thousands of other forgettable songs, but i don’t think you really notice the simplicity as much as you do in “Under My Skin” because it isn’t nearly as repetitive. So, anyway, it seems to be growing on Izabelle and she’s the one who gets to choose what the first song on every demo is, so be afraid…

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/05/3836463/

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Song #2 (below) can’t seem to decide where it wants to go. I started writing it simply as a song in the second person that had nothing to do with “relationships” in the sense i usually write about them. Quickly, the puzzle became figuring out what the “tiny trouble” in the first verse was, and why she took the car out. By the time i got out to the bridge (notice the borrowed line from Tori while i work out what’s actually going to fit in there) i knew she was hiding something from her family and she had tried to tell her boyfriend but was hung up on (in the first chorus). The song seemed to be leaning towards her being pregnant (“nest in your heart,” “too early for children to be appreciated,” “feel the kick of that tiny answer”), but i’m not sure that’s where i was leaning. But, what do you hide from your family and get shut down by your lover about if your not pregnant? What wakes you up with the sun just so you can drive around deserted streets just waiting for something to catch you eyes. Maybe she’s dying? But, it was all in the letter, and she tore it up so she could manage to go back to sleep with the tiny pieces littering the floor around her bed. But that tiny trouble has gotten the best of her, and she can’t just sleep that off.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/05/3835246/