I was sorta expecting to have a wild year sometime in the midst of college. Last year i smoked pot a handful of times, but that hardly composes a bad streak all on its own, especially considering the romantic and sexual isolation i was experiencing at the time. This was going to be the year, though. It’s not exactly a cocaine addiction or anything, but it would’ve been something to tell Behind the Music about. This was going to be the year that i lived through drunken stories that could i hardly recall and slightly regretted tales of mornings after and all that. That’s not to say that i would have been a huge slut, because i love to lord my virginity over other (less pure) people, and i probably wouldn’t ever drink that much because i have an extremely healthy sense of my limitations – but i could’ve worked around those issues.
So, what’s the condition of this awful streak now? The story ends with my drinking leveling off, me actually maintaining a vestige of a social life, and *gasp* actually dating. I know, it’s weird. The weirdest part is, i still have zero-experience outside of this single relationship, so for as long as i stay within it i’m relatively going to be suspending my wild streak. But… i don’t want a handful of idiotic jaunts to consist of my entire youthful rebellion; however, admitting that i wouldn’t mind fucking up worse in the future basically admits the lack of validity of my relationship, which does not lend itself to alcohol poisoning or random drug addiction.
Can a healthy relationship and an urge to live one emotionally and physically shitty year co-exist peacefully in my life? Um… stay tuned?
alchohol
krisis: Well, i was totally coherent, but i lost all ability to reason. Like, i’d get to a corner and i wouldn’t be able to decide which way to cross.
matt: i see
krisis: So, if i saw any cops i was just gonna chuck my drink into the snow and avoid trying to cross any streets.
matt: My guess is with your ability not to reason you would have thrown it at the cops.
The majority of that prolonged absence was taken up by a lot of traipsing around with Amy & Liz that involved one snowed in basketball court, two trips to 7-11, three slip and fall accidents, and a host of other fun events like Amy kicking snow in my face after i fell on the ground. Afterwards we repaired to Amy’s to eat nachos and watch her Ben Folds Five video, which we do every time i’m over there. There’s so much liquor lying around in her kitchen waiting for tomorrow night i almost got drunk looking at it. She bought this enormous jug of SkyVodka just for us to do shots of, or something. Obviously i won’t be blogging much tomorrow night…
Everyone in my entire family commented on all of the weight i’ve gained and how good i look now. In a way it’s nice, because none of them ever compliment me on anything so i know i must look healthier, but since i’m not entirely comfortable with my new 20 pounds i’m not exactly thrilled that it was a big subject over Christmas Eve dinner. I think my issue is that i’m filling out well enough, but i’m not really shaping any of the weight, so if i gain any more i might look a little pudgy, which of course would make me very upset. My whole body-image is a very fragile thing, and i know i sound like a teenaged girl, but i’ve always been very thin and this is taking some getting used to. Not to mention that i definitely have a big wheezy fat gene on my father’s side of the family. I should obviously give up meat again… and god help me if i ever start drinking beer… (well, god help us all…)
So, i’m still alive, despite attempts to the contrary made last night. It’s funny, because i’m an incredibly sober drunk unless i’m with silly people, and last night i was with Amy who is by far the funniest chick i know. So, yeah, that’s where all the tom-foolery came in. I think it’s ultimately pretty demeaning when bloggers come on while they’re drunk to ramble on like idiots, but i kept it short and sweet and i spelled very well so it’s more like an isolated testament to sophomoric fun than anything else. This morning we all woke up (stunningly) around 11 and made pancakes. Towards the end of breakfast i lit myself on fire again, proving ultimately that i don’t need to be drunk to be dumb. Yep.