Comic Books, Drag Race, & Life in New Zealand
by krisis
This term has been like living out of my own body … a show, being sick all the time, not doing well in class, having a girlfriend. Show’s over, i’m finally getting better, i’m trying to steer my classes in an upward direction. Which leaves one element messing with my equilibrium… Shit. I hate myself.
by krisis
Theatre is so stressful to me now, and it used to be fun. Every night before i went out on stage this week i didn’t feel exhilarated, i felt put upon. Why did i have to be the one to wait for the lights to go out before taking the stage? Why did i have to set the tone for the whole show? Why was i the first solo song? Why did my scenes have to be the ones used to move the plot along? I’ll be the first one to admit that i loved my character and i wish i could stay with him for a few more months to understand him better, since i wound up turning him into a sort of characature of what he actually was, but i don’t love my role, and i never loved the play. Every night before we went on stage i had the dread of entering a production that i didn’t like at all, save for the people in it, and that’s the only thing that got me through. And now it’s over, and all of those people are dispersed to do what they normally do, and my life is totally back to normal. Well… almost…
by krisis
our set is struck. the show is over. i am free.
by krisis
Yesterday on the phone with my aunt, she off-handedly asked what i’d be giving up for Lent this year. My family isn’t the most strict in terms of Catholicism, but on my father’s side they all go to church every week or two and make sure to observe all the major holidays and the rules that go along with them. So, they honestly practice Lent – giving up something extravagant like chocolate (i’ve always known it to be a food item with them (rather than buying new cds, which would be more apropros for me), but i’m not sure if that’s a symptom of my own family or Catholicism as a whole). I replied that i didn’t even realize Lent was upon us, although subconsciously i’m quite aware that the whole purpose of the Mardi Gras is to have one last wild night before heading into Lent. She clucked in reply that i should watch out lest i wind up in hell, and though she meant it light-heartedly its intended effect was felt.
Am i to think that i’m really going to hell because i didn’t give up chocolate for a month? While i realize such a practice obeys the letter of religious law, you have to obey the spirit as well, and obeying the spirit of the law is more important. I have a laughable line in my play where i implore to the gods “Well, good will, for instance, might do instead of love? Or, good sportsmanship instead of justice? Instead of honor, outward propriety?” I gave the line with a chuckle for nearly a month before my director stopped me in the middle of it one night and asked me to tell him what was going on. After some mulling on my part i realized that i wasn’t offering up my “insteads” as a joke to the gods, but as a reality. I am taking the stance that to ask that we always love our neighbor is asking too much, but that we should at least offer him our good will in hopes that we get it in return.
Somewhere in there is my feeling on Lent. I won’t begrudge my family their religious practices, and i’ll be mindful of my frivolous nature during Lent, but you can be sure they’ll all be on a chocolate binge when it’s over, and that shouldn’t be the point. Giving up something you like for an amount of time shows a commitment to your god, but actually changing your habit as a result of true self reflections shows that you’re really honoring him.
Plus, i don’t really like chocolate to begin with.
by krisis
Can i just talk about some of the stuff that makes more sense once you’re actually in a relationship? Good. Okay, first of all, Undressed: that cornball MTV show where lots of too-pretty 20-somethings posing as college freshmen have lots trouble that would be solved if they would just shut up and fuck? Or, alternately, if they had opened up their mouths before jumping into the fucking? Previously the show seemed lame and belaboured, but now i actually get a kick out of seeing how twisted a situation can be before i actually it stops resembling real life. And god knows that’s a pretty twisted place to be…
Other stuff i dig more now? Ani DiFranco’s Dilate as well as most of Out of Range, all of which has stopped just being good music and suddenly is intruding into my life and siding with the players therein. Jagged Little Pill fits neatly into that category as well. Also, erm… i like sappy movies more now, because it’s fun to hit pause and make commentary before the characters do the stupid things you know they’re gonna do anyway.
God, i need to get out more.