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photo

March 21, 2002 by krisis

It’s the same old house to me, really, no matter what. I’ve only been here for a little over half a year, but even the slopey ceilings and bare brick walls started losing their effect on me a while ago, and now nothing about it is thrilling. I suppose it’s hard for thrill and comfort to cohabitate in one place for too long, and now it’s just become ‘home’ rather than anything else. It’s a place for me to be weary, and to watch teevee, and to cook dinner. But, this morning we were all in the kitchen having waffles, ice cream, or both, and Elise looked to her left and said “it’s colorful.”


Following her gaze my first thought was that she was just looking out the window at the siding of the house next to us, which is just about anything but colorful — no matter how sunny it might be on the outside. But, it wasn’t the window she was staring at, but its sill. Our kitchen windowsill has become our makeshift house wetbar, and even at its current low tide it’s a cross-sectioned rainbow of apple green Pucker, the deep blue bottles of Skyy and irish cream, and the too clear Smirnoff letting the sun fall right through it.

“Colorful?” I pondered it more than i asked it. I suppose even the most routine of comfortable things are still thrilling in the right light.


A half hour later Kat was framing up a picture of the shadows that our blinds cast against the curtains, with Elise coaching on what to leave out of the edge, and inside it felt like we had rewound back past spring to last summer, and the wonder i had in my eyes at this place when it was empty and unfinished.


I am enjoying all of the seasons i have collected, as much as i am enjoying the spring that has now officially arrived.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2002/03/75028150/

Filed Under: college, elise, photo, thoughts

February 24, 2002 by krisis

I never expect winter to play this nicely, even when it is waning on us and giving way to another spring. Kat and Elise were stalking around the Penn Museum courtyard, one posing and the other one snapping away with her 35mm. I was lying splayed out on the grass, half in sun and half in shadow.


“Do you need me to move?”

“No, you’re fine. Are you bored?”

“No, i’m fine.”

I am usually not the most visual person, but i was lying there pressed as close to the earth as i possibly could and i almost asked Elise for her camera so i could capture the air in a single frame. People tell me they want to read about my life, and at that moment my life was blades of grass too close to my face to be in focus, and slanty red brick sidewalks, and green algae in the water.

I was pressing closer and closer to the ground, thinking that maybe if i could get close enough i would understand something about it — something about my relative significance as a speck on a tiny square of grass.


And, no, i wasn’t bored at all.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2002/02/10077292/

Filed Under: day in the life, elise, Philly, photo

February 4, 2002 by krisis

There we were, on the median of Broad Street with nearly three thousand dollars of camera equipment, and it had suddenly gotten so dark that we were raising the exposure between every shot. And then, just when i was expecting a downpour of icy rain to trickle into every nook and cranny of our digital camera, down came a smattering of cottony white flakes.

Snow against the stunning red brick of the building was perfect contrast, and i was set on shooting through the storm so we wouldn’t have any continuity breaks in our footage. However, within minutes the smattering had turned into a horizontal blanket of white, and even with my jacket wrapped around the camera and my hands cupped around the viewfinder it was obvious that nature had gotten the best of us. We packed it in and sprinted for the stairs to the subway so we could wipe off the dissolving white flakes from the silvery surface of our Sony.

By the time my trolley came up from underground we were back down to an F-Stop of 8 — the sun was out in force, reflecting back up from tiny puddles lying on darkened cement. I smacked myself squarely in the foreheard with the end of my tripod.

I’d given up before the most beautiful part.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2002/02/9388565/

Filed Under: college, day in the life, Philly, photo

January 22, 2002 by krisis

Tuesday, and Philadelphia is thawing. Melting.

Snow provides the contrast on our world — in both directions. A cascade of white dusting over everything slowly reduces life into a study in light and dark, muting all of the inbetweens. And, as it slides off of the back roofs and trickles down the drains, the color slowly seeps back into daily life. Just as our pupils expand to respond to a lack of light in the room, and it feels like the aperture i have in my life for the outside world to effect me is desperately attempting to contract to defend against the vivid existence that today has re-introduced to me.


Here i was standing in the dark, and all of this color has caught me in the middle of a dilate … i was busy opening up, and now it’s just overwhelming. I can’t see past today at all.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2002/01/8935214/

Filed Under: Philly, photo, thoughts Tagged With: snow

January 22, 2002 by krisis

I like details. I can be in charge of details, and work with details, and love details. However, tonight i have once again reaffirmed my deep-seated loathing of being a director of many detailed things, which is to say that i cannot keep track of white-balance, aperture, sound level, framing, focus, and the continuity of whether the paper towels should be on the table or on the floor all at once.


So help me god if i lose points for the one shot i have with paper towels on the table i’m dropping out.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2002/01/8926726/

Filed Under: college, photo, thoughts

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