Wow, and it’s so hard to be an introvert when you know every fifth person you see on the street. Not that i’m a hardcore introvert, but i have my own little only-child thought-world that i occupy most of the time and i haven’t been spending a whole lot of time there lately. The odd thing is, i really love my introversion in a way and i’m much happier without it, but i miss it if i don’t get enough alone time. Alone time is guitar time, and webpage time, and fantasy time. I have so many worlds in my head it’s a wonder i can support it upon my neck and shoulders.
selfy-stuff
Erm, so, having met the greater part of the Freshmen class, i have little crushes on a few of them. Already mentioned was “the cute girl” whose compatibility with me is irrelevant since she’s too perfect looking for me to ever approach. But, aside from her there’s plenty of people i have had fleeting flirting moments with, and now it’s sorta getting to a point where i should commit and flirt with people or just give it up. Did i mention how awful my life is? But, today was nice … i actually learned things in 3 out of 5 classes. Which means it must have been a good day. Also, i had another late lunch with Laurel, who i adore. All last year i kept telling her that i wanted to spend more time talking to her and now i finally have the chance. She’s one of the most wonderful people i have ever met, and i’m so glad to have the chance to get to know her a little better.
i think i finally got a trio down. it sounds like crap. i need to practice more. i’m listening to it now…
I seem to actually have some vague muscle tone right now, which is trés trés exciting pour moi. I haven’t been buff in any sense of the word since i completed my stint at summer camp before Junior year. You have no idea how much definition you get from wrangling 15 six years olds every day, starting with an hour of swim instruction in the morning.
I haven’t had any muscle tone for quite a while. Towards the end of Junior year of high school i stopped eating red meat, and after a week or two i went totally vegetarian (for the first time since age five). The summer of 1998 was not my healthiest one ever, and i think i was sort of bordering on anorexia without ever being anorexic. I was being very conscious of what i was eating in terms of if it contained any animal and whether it was healthy or not. I sortof got into the mode of only eating when i really felt hungry, which usually isn’t enough for a 16-year old boy. Meanwhile, i have image issues in general which are totally seperate from eating disorders in every way. Combine those two things and you at-worst have a recipe for disaster (a fainting spell) and at best are gonna wind up rather skinny. And i did.
In the “i dream about my life” category: just before i woke up today i dreamt that i was writing a new post. It was about some frank sexual topic that wasn’t the least bit risqué, but i had to use some sexual terms to get my point across. While nearing the end of writing the post it occured to me that if i used the terms frequently enough i might be able to increase my hit-count, since people would think my site was dirty. I was very satisfied when i clicked the post button.
But i wouldn’t ever dream of doing that, would i?