Crushing Krisis

Comic Books, Drag Race, & Life in New Zealand

theatre

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I am missing something very tangible and yet totally unknown to me. I do well in school, my financial situation is okay, i have great friends, … and yet right now i just feel trapped inside my own life. Maybe it’s just a beginning of the term depression as i see 10 fresh weeks of schoolwork stretch out in front of me, but i don’t want to play this stupid game anymore. There isn’t a liberal arts class at Drexel that can truly challenge me, and i don’t want to be a scientist. Aside from needing to learn more history in general and of art i could literally leave school today and do Journalism just as well as i’ll be able to do it in four years. I don’t need to take a public speaking class, which is the only applicable one i managed to schedule for this term because upperclassmen have scheduling preference over me. But, does it really make a difference? I glossed through every communications class i’ve had so far without even trying to work and my in-major gpa is higher than 3.5.

But, it’s not really about classes, is it? Or, it isn’t just classes. I fill my plate with so many different things because in the end i’m not doing any of them. Maybe that’s why i adore and despise the theatre so much: i can’t fake it, and i actually have to work for it. Anything else right now pales in comparison, and i am looking towards tomorrow night’s rehearsal like a beacon, because tomorrow day will be meaningless and empty. Tomorrow night i will get to have a skill, and to work to better it. Tomorrow night i will be on stage and i will feel like a person. The theatre will be empty, but it won’t matter at all.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/01/1888822/

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Remember all my bitching about theatre prior to getting into the play? Well… now i’m not only in the mainstage show, i wound up registering for an acting class yesterday. It would feel like a waste of academic time to me if i had to give up something else to do it, but i hadn’t been able to find any other class for that timeslot. In the end, i’m not really much of an actor. What i am is someone who is willing to get up and try something no matter how dumb it might seem. That one facet of my personality apparently more than makes up for my lack of actual acting, because time and again i’ve been willing to get up in front of an audience to trying something that some other actors weren’t even willing to do. Of course, that leaves me with a lot more in common with Tom Green than the cast of SNL, but i do have an interest (somewhere) to be able to really create a character out of thin air. I can’t do it now… i don’t have character voices or gestures or anything… i tend to just do it with inflection and dramatic pauses. So, maybe i’m ready to head into radio drama. Or, maybe i’m really going to learn something from this class. We’ll see.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/01/1859361/

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I just had my first rehearsal for Good Woman of Setzuan, but it was more of an exercise in movement than a practice. We did a lot of walking… i must have walked for nearly twenty minutes, just examining the way i use my weight and how i can shift it to change the look of my character. During the walking our director Bill actually singled out my character as an example of someone who moves in a specific way (not that i was moving that way), so at once i was psyched and a bit intimidated. After the walking we paired off and moved somewhat interpretively to music. My two favourite motions were: 1 – with a new person where i was sort of courting her and we conducted almost the whole thing with eye contact and the tips of our fingers, 2 – with Laurel, where i was tiptoeing around the stage and she was mimicking me carefully, after which we switched roles. The other interesting tid-bit of information came as we discussed some of the production numbers… i innocently asked if Laurel or Ben would be joining into my song and Bill turned to me and said matter-of-factly “No, it’s a solo,” which shut me up pretty fast. I’m not entirely sure if i want to be playing guitar for it or not… as playing guitar tends to lock me into to certain vocal inflections more than singing without it. Either way, i thought it would be nice to combine my voice with that of Ben and/or Laurel (who are the other two characters in the scene), but apparently i have to go it alone.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/01/1851038/

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I miss hair. I didn’t make it into the cast of our production, but i wound up running props for all of the performances. After getting used to the format of the show i came to have my favourite moments and songs, where i’d peek out of the curtain to watch the action; and then there were the points where i knew to get onto the headset because our stage manager was likely to be dishing in between lighting cues.

“Hair” got progressively more and more sizzling night after night until finally for the penultimate performance it just exploded from the mouths of the cast like some sort of audio dynamite. After the last chorus there had to have been a second of awed silence before the audience began their applause. I grabbed for the headset and switched it on to hear Kate say “Oh my god, that was amazing.” All of us just *knew* we’d seen the cast fall into a totally synergetic state to produce an amazing work of art.

By the end of the second act all the props were gone and i’d just get to stand in the wings and listen to the last few songs. I don’t think anything i’ll ever do in my life will compare the awe of watching my darling cast sing the refrain of “Let the Sunshine In” with my friend Tom lying dead in the middle of the stage as Claude Bukowski. “Let the Sunshine In” is at once the most depressing and uplifting song you’ll ever hear in theatre next to Annie‘s “Tomorrow,” if you have the right kind of cast at the end it turns into some sort of magical rock opera gospel choir with all of the members swaying and clapping and crying and… God, what a great musical… if you like Rent at all you need to find a production of Hair to go see. Or, at least buy the soundtrack.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2000/12/1643819/

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I am so freaked out about singing on stage for this play. I obviously can hold my own in the singing department, but that’s with songs i’ve written myself or while playing guitar. And, the song i’ll be performing won’t be either of those, although there’s a very slight chance i might get to accompany myself on a lute. So, just me, singing, out on a stage, in front of somewhere between 100 and 450 people. I’ll keep you updated (with audio, even).

https://crushingkrisis.com/2000/12/1608312/